in spite of my rage
Would you rather spend a whole day with your mom or your dad?
My mom i guess.
Is it easy for others to make you feel awkward?
Idk.
Do you know what you are going to wear tomorrow?
Yep.
What serial killer do you find most disturbing?
Idk.
Does anyone hate you for no reason?
Yeah, Ashley does.
Can you make yourself cry?
Maybe.
Are you easily confused?
Not really.
//rant/
as much as ive wanted to say this in the past, ive held back on it because i knew that even letting any of you know you matter, will just go straight to your deluded heads. you are some of the most vile, disgusting and hateful human beings i have ever encountered in my life. without doing a thing to you, you let your jealousy and bitterness towards your own life rest its eyes upon me.just stretch the chains, you three-headed dogs, two-headed eagles. tear up the ground, tear down the sky. play that tune on my rib cage, grab & pull me down. right on wear me out, because i sure know that i can feel the holes being worn-out at the angles. angels. you can call out "catastrophic!" at the top of your lungs if you want to. i'll be counting shooting stars. one, two, three. i became the prey for you seething, vicious heartless leeches to feed upon. and ever since you havent given one moments thought on if you really had a reason for doing so. and the only reason is your jealousy. & did they summon me on down, & who is to blame? i just have to become comfortable with these shark-tooth scars, i guess. why point fingers when fingers can pull triggers? shells and empty carcasses of evil. feasting your evil eyes upon the light i possessed and convincing yourself you wouldnt rest til you saw it turn to your deep shade of darkness. well im close. your evil lives and faithless souls have turned me dark.split my face in a smile. mostly i just fold up like a praying mantis. not that i'm either. praying, or a mantis. leaving me alone with myself leaves me too much time to myself! don't you know what i'm interested in? youve taken as much energy as you possibly could and ive never once said something back, retaliated, or tried to inflict harm. i have never in a million years had a nightmare that contained as much evil as you do, never saw a horror movie that could scare me more then what i know you're capable of can. i know hatred is wrong and i struggle against it, but you all truly deserve the worst torturous death possible. if i hear that someone has died in an awful way im no longer sad, i'm remorseful that it wasnt one of you. i've never had a reason to hate before, i've lived a blessed life but i know that silence and indifference assumes compliance and i will never give in or agree with beasts like you.
I've been on pause but I'm shaking off the rust.
It's hard to explain this frame of mind that I have its always negative but its beautiful in a since maybe that is my problem I find it so beautiful and at the same don't really see it as such a negative thing that I don't realize how negative it is affecting everyone around me. There are times where I completely can't handle it and those are the times when I do hurt other people. I don't even want to hurt other people
