(no subject)
I dont know why i feel like puttin this pic in this entry, but i guess u could say "it fits". I drew this (yes i know it isnt any work of art!) about a lil over a year ago, could b longer. I drew it when, my ex JJ, and i were having a lot of problems, two weeks later we broke up. I was crushed when i drew it, i couldnt stop crying and couldnt really believe what was happening...Anyway, that was a long time ago, i dont know why i drew it, or exactly what it means...just used the 2 sharpies i had, and just fuckin drew...everytime i look at it, i can see that pain, and maybe u just have to be me to see it cuz i was the one feeling the pain at the time, but its all there.
For the past week, i have been sleepin in until 5 or 6pm, today i woke up at 6:30pm...i sleep all day, even if i go to bed at 1 or 2am. idk why, i've just been so tired...i dont even want to talk to anyone anymore, i just want to lock myself up in my room and never come out...sounds pathetic, i know, but life kinda seems pointless now, everything is always temporary (friends, loves, family, and then after u've worked all ur life and gone through everything, u just die), im fuckin sick of temporary, im sick of getting hurt no matter how hard i try, im sick of never being enough, im done w/ bein lied to, and i dont want anything to do w the bullshit that lifes all about wherever u go.......I always want to help other people, do anything to make sure they're ok....sometimes i wish i could somehow save the fuckin world, lol, from pain, tragedy, from themselves!! but i cant, that kinda pisses me off sometimes hahaha....not to be selfish or anything, i just wish someone would want to help me as much as i want to help others. so many people that i really do all i can for, have done nothing but hurt me in return....this is such an emo entry, im done talkin about this shit....maybe ill write later (about somethin other than "woe is me") lol....