Love- The Impossible Science

[kimba147]

FanFic Title: Love-The Impossible Science (Ch. 1)
Author: kimba147
Pairing: Roy/Ed (There may be various straight/gay pairings later on)
Genre: Romance/AU
Rating: NC-17 (for later chapters/ over all story. For this chapter...I'd say PG-13)
Warnings: The usual warnings for this kind of stuff. Losta yaoi, angst, annoying female characters and evil villans my

Comments

[plaidhsp]

hehe they totally fit these parts perfectly. I wonder though is ed still a genius? can't wait for your next post :)

[kimba147]

Of course Ed is a genius. Just in that stupid sort of way. He is the only one I know of that can pull that off. XD

[minidrag33]

Nice start. I will look for further chapters. :)

[sky_dark]

It's a good start. Writing in first person is one of the harder genres to pull off, you have to be very true to characterization when you chose to first person an exisiting character. I like the premise, I like the descriptive nature of the narative, it's good and strong and I can use it to paint a clear picture of what Ed looks like and Roy in his surroundings. I would try to avoid footnotes that aren't of the research nature, i.e. a footnote that is referencing source materials, like a book etc. You should try to explain in your narative what "S.A." stands for, instead of footnoting. Try not to be to prose in your descriptions, in your summary note you call Mustang 'raven-haired', remember to use those types of descriptions sparcely.

It seems like it will be a lot of fun! I like that Roy immediately notes that Ed is unobtainable and you set up the chase. I want to see where it goes next.

[kimba147]

OoOoOo! Helpful comment! I have six chapters up on AFF, but, perhaps I shall go through and do some editing with your advice when I post the next one here! Thank you so much for reading!!!

[greedy_lover]

\o/!! I r your reader, Greedxed from AFF.net

[kimba147]

AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! Hi!!!!!! (XD, I love your icon...) Aww...I feel special! I has someone watching me on two sites now! XDXD

[greedy_lover]

Thank you XD I love it too XDD And GreedxEd XD