Madrugada [Roy/Ed, R]

Jun 18, 2012 04:30

Title: Madrugada
Artist/Author: alice_pike
Rating: R
Warnings: Some language, but that's about it.
Prompt: Preference for a canon setting, either sweet or angsty Roy/Ed. (I went with angsty, of course).
Word Count: 4,218
Disclaimer: Yeah, if only.
Notes: Set during the first anime, specifically around episodes 43 and 44, when Ed and Al are fleeing to Resembool after Lior. I took "canonish setting" really quite literally and basically just followed Ed and Roy through those events.

You can also read it at AO3.

___________

Lior is just...gone.

Roy has seen his fair share of destroyed cities: He's been to the ruins of Xerxes; he'll never forget Ishbal. But he has never seen something like this, witnessed destruction of this magnitude. It's almost enough to distract him from the thought ringing in the back of his mind: Ed and Al were here, Ed and Al were here. He doesn't know what part they played in all of this, but despite the whispered rumors of every soldier still alive, Roy is inexplicably confident that everyone here is better off for the Elric's involvement.

And he doesn't doubt for a second that they are both still alive: They have survived much worse already.

Havoc confirms what Roy already knows, and he's already coming up with a way to get his men to Resembool without giving away Ed's location when Falman announces the arrival of the fucking Fuhrer.

He gives Bradley the cut-and-dry rundown on Lior because Roy didn't get to where he was by lack of a poker face, and his enthusiasm at the idea of going after Scar is more or less genuine.

But then Bradley says, "No, Mustang. I mean Fullmetal."

And Roy reacts-he can't help it. Ed is in pretty deep shit with the military; Roy's known that for a while now. But for Ed to be thought responsible for the annihilation of an entire city and the killing of almost a thousand Amestrian soldiers? Roy can hardly comprehend that. Ed and Al have been scarce on the details, and it's clear that they know or suspect more about this than they should, but Roy never expected the military-and the Fuhrer, at that-to go to such lengths to keep them quiet.

Reading Roy's surprise, Bradley asks, "Can you tell me why the Elric brothers showed up at Lior?" and Roy already knows they're fucked. It's all he can do to gloss over Ed and Al's movements, to give an innocuous-enough account of their actions without actually giving anything away. No, Roy has never given them explicit orders-regarding Scar or otherwise-but neither has Roy ever disapproved of anything the Elrics have done.

But then Bradley is stringing together an all-too convincing chain of events, and Roy has to fight his rising panic, the way he can see the end of this closing in on him already. He's practically pleading with Bradley to give them more time, but he needs to get to Ed before the military does-that much is crucial.

"I've heard some very disturbing reports," Bradley continues. "According to my information, the Elric brothers may be fighting alongside those who call themselves homunculi."

An unexpected wave of anger crashes through Roy at that, and it calms some of his panic. That Edward and Alphonse Elric are working with the homunculi is the most ridiculous thing Roy has ever heard. He almost wants to kill Bradley for the very suggestion.

"Capture them, Mustang. If they won't go peacefully, then take them out by force. You're to consider them enemy combatants."

The absurdity of that, too, is overwhelming to Roy, the idea that someone he knows and trusts and loves as much as Ed is to be his enemy. Edward Elric is about the farthest thing from an enemy a person could have, and Roy would bet that anyone who's ever met the kid would agree. He may be a little blind when it comes to his brother, but Ed has proven time and time again that he is a good person, that he will always protect people before anything else, and it's never been so hard for Roy to make a salute and order his team to track down the Fullmetal Alchemist.

To be perfectly honest, Ed is a bit surprised that they've made it as far as they have without running into the military. He's also surprised when he hears Breda and Falman's voices filtering towards him through the trees, but he thinks that maybe he shouldn't have been: If anyone was going to find him, it was going to be Mustang.

"I know. We're doing it for the Colonel," Breda says, "so he doesn't take the blame for Lior. Why do you think I'm trudging through this forest?"

"The Colonel?" Ed mutters, from where he's crouched behind a tree. Dammit, Mustang, he thinks. As far Ed knows, Roy had absolutely nothing to do with Lior, and he wonders for a moment how Mustang's team got caught up in it all. (He resolutely ignores the guilt that suddenly erupts in his gut, the realization that of course Hawkeye would have told Roy everything he had said in the Ishbalan camp, that of course Roy would put the pieces together and come to the more-or-less-correct conclusions. Ed tells himself that it's not his fault, that Mustang should have read the signs better, should have heeded the warnings plastered all over this government conspiracy and not have worried about him so goddamn much, what the fuck, Mustang is a Colonel and a goddamn good one at that and shouldn't be letting Ed cloud his judgment, Jesus Christ). Maybe there's more to it, he thinks, then; maybe this particular turn of events is about Roy, and Roy alone.

Ed knows that he can't dwell on this, though, can't give it too much thought because there are more important things he needs to worry about. "Well," he says, more to convince himself than anything, "if he has to go down for this, then so be it."

It's not like he wants Mustang to take the blame for Archer's overwhelming stupidity, but defeating the homunculi is his first priority, and he needs to get back to Resembool, no matter what.

Some part of Roy wants to laugh when he rendezvouses with his team to find four of their six members incapacitated. He probably would have, too, if the stakes hadn't been so high, if finding Ed before Hakuro's team wasn't essential.

"I wonder if the Elric brothers are actually prepared to fight us to the end on this," Riza wonders aloud.

Roy would bet that the Elrics are more than prepared. He knows what they're both capable of when pushed, how fiercely they'll fight back from whatever corner they find themselves in. Roy just hopes that Ed will talk to him-that he'll be able to explain what's really happening-before anything more goes down.

"We'll know when we reach the end," Mustang replies grimly, and then, to his team, "That was pitiful. Let's get them next time."

He knows what this must look like. To Ed, to Al, to Winry. He'd like to think that Ed and Al don't really believe him capable of this, would never believe that he could think they were traitors; but the truth is he can't. He wants nothing more than to protect Ed, but of course Ed doesn't know that: Roy has never let his guard down in Ed's presence, has never let Ed see the extent of his feelings and just how far Roy would go for him. And on the other hand, Ed would never ask Roy for anything, so he doesn't expect anything from him, either.

For some reason he can't explain, it hurts him even more that Winry believes him capable of this, that he would hurt Ed as much as he's hurt her.

"You know, running makes you look guilty."

Ed is at first struck with a ridiculous sense of relief at hearing Roy's voice: It has been months since they've spoken, even longer since they've seen each other, and for those first few seconds, Ed doesn't even care what Mustang's saying; he can almost forget that Mustang's here to capture him.

But then he sees Winry-her hands tied like a fucking prisoner-and any feelings he has about seeing Roy again vanish on the spot.

The antagonism starts up like second nature, and it's almost comfortable, this confrontation. He and Roy fall into their old patterns, go back and forth as easy as breathing; but then Riza's imploring him and Al to come along quietly and half of Roy's team is pointing guns at them, what the fuck, and Ed remembers all at once that this is not like the other times, that there is way more at stake here than ever before.

He and Al need to get the hell out of there, and he's not above petty tactics to do it.

"Good luck making sparks now!" he yells to Roy, after transmuting the riverbed and drenching Roy's gloves. "Al!"

They take off immediately, but they don't get far.

If not for the presence of his team and their drawn weapons, Roy could almost pretend he was back at Eastern HQ, fighting with Ed over every little thing. But their banter degenerates quickly, and there is cold, genuine fury in his voice when Roy accuses Ed of reverting to a child, because it has been years since he's seen Ed like this, so heedless of the consequences of his actions.

He's so fucking angry at Ed because he doesn't know what Ed's doing, what he's trying to accomplish.

Roy knows that this is how Ed behaves when he feels cornered, when he thinks he doesn't have any other options; and Roy tries to brush aside the nagging reminder that he's the one who drove Ed into this particular corner, that he's the one taking away Ed's options one by one. He may just be trying to help, but he knows that Ed would never see it that way, and that thinking otherwise would be foolish.

So it's unreasonable, Roy knows: But he's mad at Ed for acting like this when he doesn't know why-for not trusting Roy with whatever plan he has.

Al blocks Mustang and Armstrong's attack that comes out of nowhere, and over the settling debris Ed can hear Roy saying, "It's an effective attack, don't you think?"

"Yeah," he says, before he can stop himself, "I'm sure the two of you put it to great use in Ishbal."

No matter what situation they may be in, no matter how angry Ed is, he never actually means what he says when he talks about Ishbal, when he accuses Mustang of his actions there. He knows that he's wrong, that Mustang is not that person, but he's too scared and pissed off to feel anything more than a small twinge of regret as he sees, clear as day, his comment register with Roy: The smirk disappears, and Roy must be feeling just as reckless as Ed is, because there's no hesitation before he leans into his next attack, acting out of anger as only Ed can drive him to do.

And Ed feels threatened-truly threatened-by Mustang for maybe the first time ever as he walks towards them, match in hand.

He doesn't want to fight Mustang. He doesn't want any of this, but he's too far gone now and he'll do what he has to to finish what he's started. He grits his teeth and is about to clap when Winry's cry pierces the air.

Roy doesn't mean to say any of it. Ed's reactions to emotional vulnerability are pretty much limited to using that information as a weapon, or running like hell. Ed has never asked Roy for details about Ishbal, and Roy has never offered any. But right now, he doesn't know what else to do. He's tired of chasing him and Al, hates acting like their enemy, and he just wants Ed to be straight with him, here.

He's dissociating, he knows that, because there are no other circumstances under which he would say these things to Ed so plainly, that he would admit in front of Al and Winry and Riza and everyone that he murdered Ed's best friend's parents, that he failed at taking his own life. He's saying the words, and while he means them to be for Ed and Ed alone, he knows that that isn't the case. He knows that Winry is listening, that his team is hearing him say the things they have always suspected, but none of that matters to him right now.

Some ridiculous part of Roy just wants to know what Ed thinks, wants to know if Ed will forgive him, or if he's just ruined Ed's opinion of him forever.

He wants to know if this changes anything, even though everything is already different.

"I'm not chasing you because I was commanded to," he tells them, and finally, they're getting somewhere. "I'm doing it because I'm pissed. Now," and he's yelling, he can't help it, "why the hell did you two run away without asking for my help first?!"

And that's it-that's the heart of the matter exposed.

At first, he doesn't think Ed is going to answer him, and he probably wouldn't have, if Al didn't break the silence.

"Fuhrer King Bradley is a homunculus," Al tells them, matter-of-fact.

In the resulting, ringing silence, Roy almost wishes he hadn't asked.

Ed is glad for the distraction of exposing the homunculi's plot, because the alternative is to address everything Roy just told him, and he cannot deal with that right now.

He can't even think about it, because then he would lose whatever tenuous grasp he has on the situation. Roy does not talk about Ishbal, and Ed knows that if he lets himself think about it, he'll want to go to Mustang, reassure him-hell, even fucking apologize to him. But he can't, not right now; he can't let himself get distracted, so he files all of it away for later, focuses on telling Mustang's team what they know.

Things go from bad to worse after Winry asks about Ed's watch. Roy has already more than reached his quota for sharing immensely personal and damning information today, so he figures-fatalistically and mildly hysterically-what's a little bit more?

It all sounds so much worse when he says it out loud, and he's still too shocked by his own admissions to hear Ed approach. He doesn't even realize Ed has moved until he's pulling Roy down by the collar of his uniform, voice low and furious.

"I don't trust you," Ed snarls at him. "You knew what it took to make one, and still, you let me search for that damn thing?"

All at once, Roy's fucking furious again, because yes, he did know what it took to make a Philosopher's Stone; but he also truly believed that Marcoh's notes were destroyed, that the research had stopped, that no one else would ever know what it took. And yes, he let Ed and Al look, because if anyone could find a way-a different way-to make a Stone, it would be them.

"That's enough-" he snaps, because does Ed really not know all of that? Does Ed still think so lowly of him, even now?

But then Al makes of himself quite an effective distraction, and Ed has clearly spent all of the energy he can afford being pissed at Roy, his attention fully back on his brother.

Sometimes, Roy wonders what would happen to them if he and Ed were ever allowed to finish one of their fights in peace.

Other times-most times-he's glad that they have yet to be given the chance.

To say that Roy is unprepared to meet Ed's father is an understatement. Meeting one's significant other's parents is never exactly a looked-forward to event, but when the guy's clearly been around a little longer than should have been possible, and may or may not be tied up with a government conspiracy, well, it's a less pleasant experience than normal.

None of which is helped by the fact that Ed clearly hates the man's guts, and that Al betrays Ed for maybe the first time in their lives to stay with him.

Al doesn't come back that night, and Roy doesn't know if he should, but he knocks gently on Ed's door after everyone else has gone to bed. There's no reply, but the door swings opens when Roy pushes on it, and he takes it as a good sign that Ed doesn't attack him when he steps into the room.

Ed's still wide awake, sitting stiffly on his bed, one knee tucked up to his chest. He glances up at Roy when Roy walks towards the bed, settles himself lightly on the edge of the mattress.

Roy just watches Ed for a few seconds, not saying anything, not daring to reach out to him even though he wants to. He can only imagine the hell that Ed has been through these past couple of weeks, especially in these past few days, and he wants to know that Ed is okay, needs to know that Ed is all right.

But he stays silent, knowing that pushing the matter will not get him anywhere.

Eventually, Ed asks, "Is he...?"

"No," Roy answers, as kindly as he can, because Al still isn't back.

There's no response to that but a deepening of Ed's scowl, and Roy can't stand it anymore. He thinks back to a few hours ago on the Rockbell's porch, the aching realization that Hohenheim really didn't know anything about the lives of his sons, about what they'd been through since he'd left them. He can still hear Ed's flat explanation of what he and Al had done, can still hear the raw anger in Ed's voice as he'd accused his father of abandoning them.

Roy hadn't done anything at the time, hadn't gone after Ed when he'd trailed back into the house after Al had left, hollow-looking and defeated; but he can't do that now. He can't stand seeing Ed in this much pain, watching Ed try to bury all of it when Roy is right here, confused and hurt and just wanting to make things right.

"Edward," he says finally, quiet, imploring, when Ed doesn't seem inclined to say anything else.

Ed looks up at him, and the lingering anger in his face is striking. For one dreadful second, Roy thinks that maybe they'll get to finish a fight after all, but the next thing he knows, Ed is launching himself at Roy, burying his face in the front of Roy's uniform, dragging Roy more fully onto the bed and clinging to him.

Roy wraps his arms around Ed instinctively, pulling him close.

"Hey," he whispers, words muffled in Ed's hair, falling freely now across his shoulders. "Shh, it's okay, Ed. It's okay."

He places a kiss at Ed's temple, and rocks with him as he cries.

Ed slumps in Roy's arms when he has exhausted his tears, when he's finally let out all of the frustration and tension and fear of the last few days, and just lets himself be held.

He pulls himself back together after a few moments, slipping gently out of Roy's embrace, but he leaves their fingers entwined on the stretch of bed between them.

He doesn't ask Mustang about what he'd said during their fight in the woods: He knows, and that is enough until-and if-Roy chooses to talk about it again.

Neither does he ask how Mustang knew that he and Al would come back to Resembool; Ed has long since accepted that the Colonel will know more about him and how he operates than Ed will ever be truly comfortable with. He does ask, however, why it was him that tracked them down.

"Bradley gave the orders," Roy tells him, sounding as unsurprised about this now as Ed has been for a while, given the scope of the conspiracy. It's still a bit of a wake-up call, though, to know that the Fuhrer-homunculus or not-is interested in his movements. He makes a note of it, files it away along with everything else he can't afford to think about.

Roy doesn't ask about the accusations, about the official investigation, or even about what really happened in Lior. Ed doesn't exactly tell him, either, but he trusts that Mustang can put it together.

"We made sure everyone was out," Ed allows, because that's really what it boils down to, in the end.

Roy looks like he's fighting back a smile.

"What's so funny?" Ed asks him, annoyed out of habit more than anything.

"You made sure everyone was out," Roy repeats slowly, like he's still trying to wrap his head around that.

"Yeah," Ed confirms, "what's the big deal?"

"Edward Elric," Roy says, reaching out to cup Ed's cheek in his gloveless hand, "you are exceptional, do you know that?"

"What the fuck, Mustang," Ed doesn't-quite-ask, a smile quirking his lips regardless. "You are so fucking strange," he says, but he leans in to catch Roy's mouth with his own.

"Mustang," Ed says, when they break apart, foreheads pressed together, Roy's hand curled possessively around the back of Ed's neck, his eyes still closed.

"Roy," he amends, after a beat, and Roy leans back in surprise to look at him, his name awkward and clumsy on Ed's lips.

"I'm sorry," he tells Roy, once it's clear that Ed has his attention. "I've been thinking about what I said back in the woods for a while now. I didn't mean it-any of it. About me and Al, and..."

Ed stops to clench and unclench his automail fist a few times. "And about Ishbal, too," he continues, sounding hesitant to even bring it up again. "I know that's not-"

"Edward," Roy interrupts him, because even though this is what Roy has wanted all day, he doesn't need to hear it now, doesn't need Ed to apologize to him to know that Ed is sorry.

"I trust you," Ed continues stubbornly, like it's very important that Roy understand this. "If you'd tried to tell us about the Stone before, we wouldn't have listened. Well," he concedes, "Al might have, but I sure as hell wouldn't have. We needed to find out for ourselves; it was the only way. You'd never do anything to intentionally hurt us, I know that. Fuck, of course I know that-"

"Christ, Ed," is all Roy can say, as he pulls Ed into his arms again. "It's okay," he says. "I know what it must have looked like"-because he does-"but I'm on your side, okay? No matter what happens."

He feels Ed nod where his face is buried in Roy's shoulder.

They stay like that for what seems like ages to Roy, but sooner than it probably feels, Ed pushes himself back onto the bed, settling in under his sheets, eyes never leaving Roy as he does so.

"Will you...stay?" Ed asks him, sounding unsure of himself for maybe the only time in Roy's memory, and at first, Roy doesn't know how to respond. It's not like they've ever done this before-actually slept together. Sex rarely even occurred on a bed, never mind them actually sleeping in one.

But then Ed glances away from him like he thinks he's said too much, and Roy says, "Of course," honest and without hesitation. "If you really want me to," he adds, because he is who he is and he needs to make sure.

"I do," Ed assures him.

Roy nods. He toes off his boots and strips out of his uniform, methodical. Ed makes room for him once he's finished, and Roy tries to remember what it feels like to fall asleep next to Edward Elric, to listen to his breathing even out as he slips into sleep, to feel his grip loosen where his fingers are still clenched around Roy's under the sheets.

They're considerably better in the morning, Ed more relaxed and in control of himself, Roy surer than ever of his next move.

Their banter is more like a game again, and they address each other as "Colonel" and "Elric" like the old times; the malice in their voices is playful, latent, their smirks there for all to see.

And then Roy is gone, and Ed tries not to worry about what the hell he's going to do once he's back in Central.

The honeymoon is short-lived, though, because then Sciezka lets slip about Hughes, and Ed's still too blinded by his own grief and rage to see the other side of it, to listen to Pinako and what he knows, deep down, is true.

"That bastard," Ed mutters, still reeling and not knowing what to do, "from now on, I hate him."

And he knows, even as he says it, that it's bullshit, that he could never hate Mustang, not after everything they've been through; but it feels so good to blame him, to have a convenient outlet for his emotions. He remembers the easy anger he had for Mustang back East, in the first years of his enlistment, and he almost wishes he could feel the same way right now.

"There's something I have to do," he tells Al later, when Winry and Sciezka have gone off to check up on Hakuro's team.

"Alone," he adds, when Al makes to follow him.

He digs up his mother's grave with his bare hands, burying everything else just as deep.

!fiction, char: edward elric, char: roy mustang

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