(Untitled)

[ny_city_boy]

Nicole agreed to come with me to see the kids so we made our way through the jungle to get back to the beach. I figured that Faith would be ok with Nicole since she was our kids aunt and a slayer. She wasn't going to let me hurt the kids anymore than Faith would. Besides, it was becoming really clear that Faith and I needed to learn to deal with

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[mr_angel]

Getting out of the compound was a lot easier than it should've been considering every scientist in the entire building had disappeared. I didn't know what the fuck that meant, but with Faith carrying around her unconscious sister over her shoulder I took it as a favor. We were on our way back to the beach when Grace woke up and at least for once things seemed to not being going straight to hell.

That was until we kept walking and I started hearing familiar voices and heard a fight going on somewhere ahead of us in the jungle.

"Is that-.." I started to say but before I could finish I had a body thrown into me and I fell to the ground hard. Okay what the hell? Harry? Looking up, I saw Connor standing over us. Oh wonderful.

"What the hell is going on?" I asked after Faith. Harry was pissed at Connor for something and I'd already had to keep him back for going after Connor. Didn't he know that probably wasn't such a good idea considering he was my son and would do a good job kicking his ass? Well, I guess he just found out.

Shaking my head, I sighed. Well, at least they'd gotten that out of the way. You know, for the time being. I had a good feeling that wouldn't last for long.

"Will you both just stop?" Jesus. Sighing again, I looked at Connor. "You won't find anything back at the compound. When we left, everyone was gone." I'd leave it to Faith to fill in everyone on what happened with her father. That is, when she was ready to.

"If you both would stop fighting each other, we need to get back to the beach." I'd had enough of the jungle for a while.

[ny_city_boy]

"It was nothing. He was just teaching me some self defense moves because he thinks you're old, slow, and incapable of handling it yourself, Angel." The only thing that kept me from calling him daddy was Faith being there. Connor was such a dick and this wasn't over, but we could pause it for now.

"They're gone?" I asked, as we started to walk toward the beach. I really wanted to see the kids, and I knew my sister probably was already there waiting for us.

Casting a look at Grace, I frowned at the marks on her. Had they tortured her too? Faith was definitely not fine, but then was anyone really ok on the island?

I could hear the ocean crashing to shore just before we reached the sand. Then I paused as I watched Nicole chase down a little dark haired girl who looked about two to three years old. She was beautiful and there was no doubt that she was Alexia. A little dark haired boy sat on the blanket with Kennedy and he was the same age.

"Um." I said, as I stared at my children, unable to take my eyes off them. They weren't babies. I'd already missed so much. "How are our kids toddlers?" When I spoke, I noticed both of the kids looked over at the group of us. I couldn't move because I wasn't sure what Faith wanted me to do, but my god they were beautiful. They were absolutely perfect.

"They're beautiful." I shook myself out of the daze and forced myself to look over at my ex-sister-in-law. "Grace, do you need a doctor?"

[neverbeenfree]

We finally made it back to the beach and I could still feel that numb feeling in the pit of my stomach. I didn't feel like myself, I hadn't in awhile but still I said nothing. Connor was givin' me a weird look but I was mostly ignoring him.

Once we got back to the sand I saw some blonde chase after Lexi while Tyler sat on the beach blanket with Kennedy. I grinned a little bit despite myself when Tyler made a beeline for me, like he'd missed me. God, it really was impossible to be my usual angsty self with the two of them running around.

Picking Tyler up in my arms I turned to look at Grace concerned when Harry asked if she needed a doctor. Did he think it was that serious? I still didn't even know what they did to her in there, not sure that I want to but eventually I was gonna have to know. I was gonna have to know alot of things. She said she was fine though just needed some aspirin and why was it that Kennedy had to take her? I eyed the two of them.

I focused my attention back on Grace when she smiled at me, actually smiled and made it seem like everything was gonna be fine. And just as she said it Lexi went bounding over to Harry like she knew exactly who her daddy was. It was the way he was lookin' at her too that was makin' me pause for a second. Was there an on-going theme here?

I wasn't sure if I should be glad that Lena ran off and hid me away from James, or if I should be pissed off that he didn't try harder to find me. He was a fucking senior partner, I'm pretty sure they got ways of findin' shit out. My life would have been so much more different.

Looking away from Harry, I glanced over at Connor and Angel, and then Harry's sister, Kennedy and Grace. Who says family are the fucked up people who brought you into this world. DNA can't mean that much can it? Cause this felt more real to me than some stranger in a fancy suit tellin' me my fortune.

Okay, if I fucking cry? I'm gonna shoot myself in the face. Seriously.

[icant_saveme]

Harry and I had barely made it to the beach before he and Angel's son started having it out. I yelled at them to stop, but once they took the fight into the jungle I just shook my head. Couldn't they at least try to get along. Yeah, okay sure. I waited for a minute or so to see if they'd come back but when they didn't I moved down the beach and decided to try to find Harry's kids for myself. It didn't take me too long before I came up on a girl probably about my age or so with two..... toddlers?

I introduced myself and the girl, Kennedy, explained to me what exactly was going on. Not that I actually understood it all, but hey. There was a lot I didn't understand. I was starting to wonder when the hell Harry and Connor were going to come out of the jungle, but honestly it was hard to focus on that when I had two kids full of energy to chase after. They were so fucking adorable.

When Alexia started running towards the ocean I took off after her and once I'd gotten a hold of her hand I looked up to see Harry, Connor, and now Angel and Faith with another girl I didn't recognize. Harry looked a little beat up, but he really should've just stopped the fight when they were first on the beach anyway.

Tyler and then Lexi took off in their direction and I couldn't help but smile at the picture. Harry looked about as shocked as I'd ever seen him but who could blame him? His babies weren't exactly babies anymore.

After a beat, I walked over to the group and glanced briefly at everyone, then focused on the little girl who was staring up at her father. Okay, so it was hard to be pissed at the vampire right at this second. Didn't mean I wasn't, but ya know. It was just kind of hard.

[ny_city_boy]

Tyler ran for his mother and Faith immediately scooped him up in her arms. What Grace said touched me in a way that I wasn't sure she understood, but it was pretty clear I was grateful for what she said. Then I looked down to see this beautiful little girl run straight for me. She looked up at me with bright eyes and it was like staring at what Faith must have looked like as a little girl.

"Hi princess," I whispered, as I crouched down and gently took her into my arms. Yeah, the agreement was that my hands would be tied and I could tell that Kennedy and even Connor were watching me closely, but I wasn't going to hurt my daughter.

Her tiny hand pressed against my cheek as she beamed a smile at me. Ten fingers. I remembered I'd tried to count their fingers and toes before death came for me.

"Alexia, I'm your daddy," I said in a soft tone as she reached up and grabbed my hair, tugging harder than a regular little girl could. I walked over to where Faith was so I could see my son and he looked a lot like me. It looked like he got my hair because it was all big waves and loose curls. Poor kid. "Hi Tyler."

Looking away for just a minute I caught Angel's gaze and said, "Thank you."

[mr_angel]

When we got back to the beach almost immediately I looked up to see Harry's sister running after a dark-haired girl and Kennedy sitting on the blanket with a boy. Frowning, I looked at Faith for a moment then back to the two toddlers who came running up to their mother. Damn. They were barely days old and had already grown so much.

Memories of Connor as a baby flashed through my mind, but I tried not to focus on them for long since I knew how that thought process usually ended. I looked at him for a moment before turning my attention back to the kids.

Faith had Tyler in her arms and soon Harry was bending down next to Alexia and picked her up in his. Tyler was holding onto Faith, but still kept a close eye on Harry once he walked to Faith. I smiled a little at that.

Then Harry looked at me, saying thank you. I stood there for a moment not saying anything and finally nodded to him. He didn't need to thank me, but it was nice to hear it.

I focused on the kids again, amazed at how big they'd already gotten. Alexia already seemed to take onto Harry and Tyler looked curious enough. Damn. If Harry wasn't sure about their paternity before, then he had to be sure now. Alexia looked like Faith, but Tyler looked so much like Harry.

[cordys_bitch]

I'd mostly been joking about not tying Harry up, but Faith didn't make a move on him so who was I to say otherwise? Then I watched Lexi run up to him and he picked her up. Something wasn't right about him. He was a vampire and he shouldn't be so...attached to his children. I mean, Dad was because he had the soul. What was Harry's reason?

I caught the look Dad was giving me and I knew this was hitting him close to the bone. He missed all of this with me and that was why he wanted the kids to not miss it with Harry. I understood it even if I was still a little thrown off by it.

I walked over to my dad and kept my tone low, but Grace was close enough that she probably heard me. Hell, with Harry's vampire hearing he could hear me too, but whatever I didn't care. Mostly I didn't want to freak Faith and Kennedy out.

"Ok, how is it possible that he is really this calm with the kids, Dad? Shouldn't he be...more you know...different?"

Not that I wanted him to try anything, but this was just hard to understand. Harry was ruffling Tyler's hair as Lexi continued to pat Harry's face. The four of them looked really happy and for a moment it was kind of hard to remember he was a vampire. Of course, he was missing a heart beat and his blood told me he was family so that was a brief moment.

[neverbeenfree]

Watching Harry with Lexi was in some ways alot more stressful than I wanted it to be. I still wasn't sure what to expect out of him especially since I ran into my own personal Miss Cleo who'd tried to give me a life lesson on decision making and how much I usually sucked at it. But at the same time, it was a giant relief. Like some of the impossible weight that had settled on my shoulders was being shared now. And not just by Harry, but by everyone who was standin' there with us now. And it was a relief, because the last week had felt like slowly drowning, like I was suffocating but I still wouldn't ask for help. I wasn't sure I knew how to or if that would even change now. Sometimes you find out just who you are way too late to change.

That was when Grace surprised me. I wasn't sure what she was doin' but I watched her closely as she bent down near Harry and put a hand on him before smiling at Lexi and that was when her words finally sunk in. Harry did have a soul, I fucking knew it! Why was it that everyone kept insisting that he didn't? It only made sense that Angel makin' someone into a vampire wouldn't be like a normal vamp doin' it, right?

Lexi had a great sense of timing because one little word escaped past her tiny lips and we were all just starin' at her for a sec. Did she just say? How did she know? I mean, he told her but she was too little to talk, right? God, she was only like a week old and it felt like so much had passed. And while I was off everywhere else tryin' to play hero, tryin' to set my life straight they'd grown nearly two years. In some ways I felt robbed of the things that most mothers get with their kids but at the same time I guess I shouldn't expect anything short of something extraordinary.

Harry thanked Angel and I turned to meet Angel's eyes for a second. I couldn't find the words to thank him, but some of that hatred had warped into gratitude and not just for turning Harry but for helping me save my sister, and for keeping me grounded and also for keeping the secret I wasn't really willing to share with anyone just yet. I had to figure out what having a senior partner for a parent meant for me before I had everyone else tellin' me what it was supposed to mean.

I set Tyler down on the ground because he'd been getting squirmy and I was sure he wanted to meet Harry too. He immediately walked over to where his sister was and stared curiously up at Harry.

I glanced at Grace again to make sure that she was sure about Harry's soul and she just nodded at me. How was it that she was able to tell that? I guess in the same ways she was able to pretty much teleport herself to this island and do a host of other things that I really didn't understand just yet. Hearing it out of her mouth was enough for me though because she wasn't some stranger on the beach with a cryptic message about darkness, she was my family and I knew that she'd sooner die than put my kids in danger regardless of how she felt about me.

"Are you movin' back out to the beach?" I asked Harry, which was my own cryptic way of telling him he didn't need to keep his distance from us anymore.

[ny_city_boy]

There was something in Grace's touch that made me aware there was power there. I wasn't sure what she was doing, but it was like I could feel her connecting with me. My focus was on Alexia and Tyler though. It was impossible for me to take my eyes off them. They were so beautiful and absolutely everything that I had ever wanted. When I looked at them, I saw the best of Faith and me and I wondered if she could see it too.

When she said I had a soul maybe I should have been more surprised, but I wasn't. I knew that Angel didn't believe it had been possible, but there was something different in me besides the lack of bloodlust. The way I felt about my family and friends hadn't changed when I was turned and it was hard to believe that merely a lack of bloodlust could fight off the demon that I had become.

My little girl said her first word and I felt like my heart was going to burst. Dada. Fuck. This was what it was all about. The trust the kids had when they looked at Faith and me was kind of overwhelming. Never in my life had anyone looked at me with absolute trust and love, and here were two perfect little people who had that reflecting in their dark brown eyes. "Yeah, baby, I'm your Dada," I said in a delighted tone as she giggled.

Faith had set Tyler down and he was staring up at me with a solemn look on his face. How was it that he looked so much like me, but he had his mother's expressions? Lexi looked just like her mother and she seemed to take on a bit of my personality. Was this how genetics worked? They got the best of both of us?

"Hi Tyler, do you want me to pick you up too?" I asked, as I crouched down and picked him up with my free arm. Lexi wiggled in my arms, but she reached out with one chubby hand and touched her brother's arm. He smiled at his sister and me before looking over my shoulder at Faith and reaching out for her. Someone was his mama's little boy already.

When she reached for him he looked her straight in the eye and said, "Mama." They knew we were there parents.

It took me a minute to focus on what she asked me because I was taking in the fact that our kids had managed to say their first words and it was to the right people. All these people on the island and they knew I was their daddy and Faith was their mommy.

"Yeah, I'd like too. I told you that you were going to be amazing at being a mother, Faith. They're absolutely perfect." Yeah, so I wasn't objective. Sue me.

[neverbeenfree]

I quirked an eyebrow in Tyler's direction when he suddenly reached out to me, folding his fingers like he needed my hand and callin' me mama. Did he really just say that? I blinked a little bit cause for some reason I figured I must've passed out somewhere back near the compound and this was just another dream. A couple weeks ago I never would have pictured my life bein' like this.

He was reaching out for me so I walked over towards Harry and finally took Tyler's chubby little fingers in my hand. Everyone else had backed off for the moment I guess to give us our space or whatever because this was a pretty big deal. I'd kept Harry away from them long enough and even the kids themselves despite bein' babies were makin' that wicked apparent.

Despite myself I smiled up at Harry as he met my eyes and told me what a great mother I'd turned out to be. He wasn't exactly objective, or present for the last week unless Angel had taught him the finer arts of Stalking 101, he had no real way to tell what kind of mother I was.

Still, it never did hurt to hear it.

And I was worried because of what had happened back at the compound, because somehow Wolfram and Hart was mixed up in all of this, including and probably especially concerning my kids. I didn't know what to make of that, but for right now I pushed it all out of my head and focused on Harry and the kids in his arms.

"You should move back out here and help me with them." I said with a little more certainty. Connor had been great but he wasn't their dad, and he could probably use a break too.

[ny_city_boy]

I could hear Grace, Kennedy, Angel, Connor and Nicole talking near the blanket and it was pretty clear they were giving Faith and me a little space so we could have this little reunion with the kids. Tyler was content being in Faith's arms and Lexi had laid her head in my shoulder and was sucking on her thumb. They both seemed to be exactly where they wanted to be.

"I'd like that. I don't want to miss anything else with them, and I want to help you. We're a team when it comes to the kids."

I knew we had a lot of stuff to figure out. Our relationship had been complicated at best and now things were even more twisted and conflicted, but our children meant that she and I were bonded for life. We both knew what it was like to have parents who couldn't be depended on. We knew what it was like to suffer because our parents couldn't put us first. Alexia and Tyler were never going to know how that felt because Faith and I would ensure they got the best of us. Always.

"I wish I knew how to put into words what this means to me, Faith. You'd think someone who talks as much as me wouldn't have trouble with expressing himself, but you and the kids, this is the most precious gift I've ever been trusted with. I'm not going to let the three of you down. I'll figure out how to be what you guys need." I smiled at her as I reached out with my free hand to let my son take hold of my fingers. He squeezed tight. He was strong just like his mother. I was going to learn to be strong like her too.

"Can you believe they said mama and dada?" I was still kind of overwhelmed by them and part of me wanted to hold on tight and not let them go. They were growing up so fast and I felt like we were going to have a hell of a time keeping up. Good thing we both had enhanced abilities because I had a feeling that there wasn't going to be a lot of sleep on the agenda for the both of us. When I looked over at Angel, our sisters, Connor and Kennedy it hit me that we would be ok. These kids had an entire extended family full of aunts and uncles who would love them and protect them. We'd be ok.

[neverbeenfree]

I smiled up at him a little bit thinking this wasn't entirely selfless. I was friggin' exhausted, emotional trainwreck gal and I needed help. I needed him to be here to help me with them and with everything else and fuck if I wasn't tired of just pushin' them all away because I thought I could handle anything and everything. The world was slowly spinning out of control again and fine, I needed help.

I didn't really know what any of it meant, and just because I was lettin' Harry be the father that Lexi and Tyler needed, didn't mean we were gonna pick up where we left off with our relationship. Things were really different now and I wasn't sure what any of it meant or if I could even begin to sort out what was real and what wasn't. What was worth fighting for and what was worth letting go.

"They're pretty amazing." I agreed with him, opting not to comment on everything else he'd said. Time would tell, right? She said that if I made the right decisions that my kids wouldn't be pulled into the darkness with me. Well, I liked the dark. Maybe not the full on psycho axe murdering version of darkness, but I'd always been most at home at night. It was just my nature and I was always gonna be drawn to it. Who said that was a bad thing?

"If they keep growin' this fast we're gonna have teenagers in a week." I commented idly and watched Harry immediately get paler. Okay, yeah teenagers were a little scary but look how fast they were growing!

Besides, I was way too young to be the mother of teenagers.

[ny_city_boy]

When she said they could be teenagers in a week, I immediately went pale. I noticed out of the corner of my eye that both Connor and Angel had winced at that thought too. Guess they understood what it was like to lose time better than anyone did.

"No. No, they can't be teenagers anytime soon." I looked down at Lexi as she smiled at me. That was her mother's smile and it was one that said she was going to grow as fast as she wanted no matter if it terrified me or not.

"Princess, you and your brother need to slow down the growing up process ok. Your mom and I want to have time to raise you guys right."

Was that going to help? Probably not, but you couldn't blame me for trying. My son gripped harder on to my finger as he babbled away. Every so often I'd hear mama come out between the words he was making up.

"Is there anything you need me to do for them now? Do you want to rest or something? I know going back there had to be rough."

[neverbeenfree]

Somehow I didn't think tellin' them that they needed to stop growin' was actually gonna work. I guess someone needed to try though, I'd just come to accept the fact that I could take a nap for a few hours and wake back up to see they were twice the size that they'd been when I first laid down.

"I could use a really long nap." I admitted, but honestly I wasn't sure that I could even sleep I was so wound up and confused and turned all around. Besides, it wasn't like my sleep had been all that restful as of late anyways. Maybe later I'd try and sleep, for right now I wanted to spend some time with my kids and maybe talk to Grace about what had happened at the compound.

My smile got wider as Tyler babbled on and I could distinctly hear the word mama thrown into the mix. What was he tryin' to tell me?

"But for right now, I just wanna hang out with the kids. I can sleep later while you watch them."

It was a big thing to trust him with. Me not here, him watchin' the kids alone but Grace told me he had a soul, so why shouldn't I trust him? And besides that, I looked around, we weren't alone.

Sitting down on the blanket with Tyler still in my lap I leaned against the tree that had been providing us with shade.