I turned away for the most part because if anything, didn't like seein' the Bit hurt, or Buffy for that matter. Guess that really didn't matter either way considerin' so much time had passed. She's grown up and well, not so much 'bitty.' Glanced over at Buffy with a shrug before lookin' back at Dawn. Yeah. Kids. Soddin' slayer has kids, two of them actually but I guess we'd talk about that later.
Turned my head when I saw someone comin' closer and closer and then eventually he had his arms wrapped around her and I went to take a step but Buffy did as well. Guess she knew him.
Er. Right, she knew him. Cryin' against him and what not.
Who was this bloke?
I'm fine, I'm fine.
Wasn't fine was she. Frowned and looked down at my hands before ballin' them up and crossin' my arms over my chest.
"Must be Lex then, yeah?" I asked. Didn't know for sure, but I would hope so ... I guess considerin' she was pressed up against him. Didn't much like that either but what could I do? I wasn't the one she turned to anymore. That went away a long time ago.
I frowned when Lex just swooped in and suddenly had his arms around her. I knew that she was a grown up and yes, it was even nice that she was when I thought about how I didn't have all of the responsibilities that I used to have. Still, she was my baby sister like it or not and I didn't know how long it was going to take before I could get used to her and...Lex.
Either way I wanted Dawn to be happy and I knew that for whatever reason Lex made her happy. All of that annoying millions of dollars and going out in the sun and not being impervious to bullets. He wasn't impervious to bullets, was he? Cause I'm not even that good.
Dawn was crying even harder now and I exchanged a look with Spike. There was no easy way to tell her about that, but we hadn't exactly told her the entire truth. I think both of us were a little dubious when it came to Angel right about now. Although not Spike, he's probably just dying to run off into the jungle after him. Forget all about me out here by myself thinking that he's dead for months and months.
I digress, really.
"Nobody's fine until we find a way off of this island." I admitted with a sigh as I looked at my sister before turning my gaze up towards her boyfriend. "And Clark's still out in the jungle. Someone's going to have to deal with him."
I was sensing a little resentment from the other people here besides Dawn, not that I cared mind you I have a long history of people resenting my presence I've learned to ignore it. If they weren't people obviously important to Dawn I might not even make an effort but I wanted to know and at least not be hated by her sister.
"Yes, I'm Lex. Nice to meet you, crappy circumstances aside." I kept Dawn cradled against my chest while I looked up to take a better look at her rescuers. And didn't that feel like salt in an open wound that Clark managed to keep me pinned to one spot while others went and saved the woman I loved?
"No, we're not fine. We're in a lot more danger than you probably realize with Clark. I'll deal with him." Clark was my friend before I pushed him away with years of secrets and manipulation. He had always wanted to believe the best in me and I'd dissappointed him. But no one knew him like I did and I wasn't letting him hurt anyone else in his quest to get to me.
I was feeling a little skitzo because I wanted to be alone to deal with this new information but I was also terrified at being left alone again. It was making me feel a little sick, as if I needed something else to make me feel that way. Harry was dead. Clark was in the jungle with a vendetta or whatever the fuck his issue was and Lex, wanted to deal with him alone.
I'm not even going to go into how Buffy and Spike are looking at him right now. If I had any energy to be angry and bratty I so would be, so you know they were getting off easy.
I shook my head. I had to focus on something and it really couldn't be Harry's death or even the fact that he had babies because that would really just screw with my head even more and I needed to feel better before I dealt with that. I mean honestly. There was no right way to deal with your best friends death right after you've escaped from days in a cave.
"You'll deal with him," I asked with a slight glare, "So he can what? lock you in a cave too and work out his issues? How about no. I will not loose you," I turned to Buffy and Spike, "Or either of you. So screw that. let Clark get eaten by a goddamn polar bear!"
Okay so I was a little angry. I knew there was something up with Clark and it wasn't really him. There's nothing knew with shit like that in our lives, but no. NO. I was not going to loose anyone else. Not my sister. Not Spike. And not Lex. I would shin kick them all to hell so they couldn't even walk.
"Not loosing anyone else. No. NO. NO!" And yeah, so I was feeling a little crazy too."
I exchanged a look with Buffy, gettin' quite an odd one and for a second I was wonderin' what she was thinkin' about. All of this was a sodded mess and it all started with Angel goin' nuts or some such and eatin' Harry. Course, we didn't tell Dawn that. Didn't think I would - right now anyway. I was a bit confused by the whole thing but I'd find out eventually. For once, Angel wasn't my top priority, nor has he been for quite some time.
I would say that he was never a priority, but that would be a lie.
We did have to deal with the Clark fella but he was alot stronger than ... me. And with Lex sayin' that he'd deal with him, did that mean ... right. Didn't quite want to know right now, 'sides, I had to deal with Dawn who seems to be attached to this bloke. Clearin' my throat, I gave a look to Buffy but was interuptted by Dawn.
Her tantrum went on and 'course, she was in a bit of shock, I suppose from you know, bein' in a cave and such. I wanted to hold her but ... that job was already taken, so I just stood there.
"What if he doesn't? Get eaten by a polar bear that is, Dawn? Someone has to stop him before he does somethin' again." Cause let's be honest, he moves a little too fast to get eaten by a damn polar bear.
You would think that people, including and especially Dawn would start to understand that there is no losing me. Sure, you can kill me but it won't do you any good. I always come back. Besides, I was sure that I had faced worse than Clark. It was weird that he'd ended up helping me and Spike move the boulder to get Dawn out of that cave. Like he didn't really want to be doing the things that he was doing.
I didn't really know him and frankly? I didn't really want to. I'd only met him once and it was safe to say I wasn't impressed. He did sort of throw me several feet through the air without breaking a sweat while simultaneously kicking Spike's ass but that didn't mean anything. I've lost battles before, but I always come out on top. And something needed to be done about Clark. What was Lex going to do? Write him a check?
"Dawn," I said as gently as I could. I wanted to pull her out of Lex's arms and wrap my own around her but I didn't think that would really go over all that well considering the circumstances. She might be a grown up now but she was still my sister. "Someone has to deal with him before he hurts someone else. You know that. There's enough slayers on this island that we should be able to box him in at least."
Ok, Dawn saying she wasn't going to lose anyone else hit right home like it was meant to.
"I know him better than anyone Dawn, I won't make it a fight because I know I'd lose but there are things that I know that can make it work. He's too strong he'd kill anyone that went up against him in a fight there's just no way I'm sending anyone to get hurt against him." All I really want to do is hide her away and keep her safe but Clark was my friend and I owed it to him and to myself to stop him.
"Don't think that just because you're strong you can take him on." I looked over at Buffy and Spike. "He doesn't have a lot of limits from what I can tell but he does have some weaknesses that maybe I can exploit."
Okay they were all crazy. They were. Harry was dead and the world went insane while I was in that goddamn cave. Clark practically flew, FLEW when he was taking me to that stupid cave. And from the way both Spike and Buffy look he gave them a run for their money. A big run, and they want to go after him? Hell I'm pissed at him, hence the polar bear comment but I don't care.
Why has everyone gone insane? Wasn't I the one locked in a cave for days?
"I don't know Spike, maybe he can fly off the island and leave us all alone, because oh yeah did I mention that I'm pretty sure he FLEW!"
They were not allowed to do this to me, not right now. Not when everything is so messed up in my head I'm two seconds away from bursting into tears and screaming simultaneously. Honestly, a little understanding that I don't want to loose anyone else is in order right about now.
I still say let the polar bears have him.
"Fine. Fine. You know what. FINE! You all go off and play hero like you always do and I'll sit on the beach mourning my dead best friend while everyone else I care about is off getting their asses kicked by the pyscho who kidnapped me and locked me in a cave. Go! GO AHEAD!"
I pulled out of Lex's embrace and started walking shakily down the beach. I didn't really think Clark was a pyscho, at least not the full blown kind. It was like he couldn't quite get what he was doing. But whatever.
Also, for the record. I know I'm being a brat. I know that screaming and crying and yelling at them is not going to do any good to anyone, least of all me with the way I feel right now but I did just get out of a cave to find out about Harry and ... really maybe I'm insane too but they are way more insane than me.
I yelled over my shoulder, "JUST DON'T EXPECT ME TO MOURN YOU! NOT AGAIN!"
That last part was pretty much directed to Spike and Buffy, because you know they've both died on me before. I am so not cut out for this.
I watched Dawn walk off and I just stood there, lookin' at Buffy, then at this Lex guy, then back at Dawn. She ... This wasn't what I was anymore. We weren't there anymore, too much time had gone by and I honestly didn't know how to reach her anymore.
She grew up.
"Go on after her, love, I'll --"
Buffy didn't even wait for me to finish what I was sayin', she was already off. Not that I blame her, her sis and all that rot, so I just nodded as I watched her dart off.
"Right then," I muttered to myself and gave another look to Lex before turnin' around and headin' back to our little spot on the beach. Might as well play lap dog.
My eyes got wider as Dawn just exploded and went off on everyone. Not that I was a stranger to Dawnie's temper tantrums but it had been awhile since she'd last had one. At least this time she wasn't screaming at me to get out of her room. Although that would be hard on this island, maybe if there was a room to be had, she would be. I knew that being locked in a cave for days plus Harry's untimely death had to be stressful for her but didn't she understand that something had to be done?
Right now the only thing that had to be done was me going after my sister. I don't care if she is a grown up now with a rich boyfriend who can look after her, I'm never going to stop looking after her. Immediately I headed down the beach after her until I finally caught up with her and fell into step beside her.
I didn't know if Spike and Lex were behind us or not but I wasn't turning around to see. I had other priorities at the moment.
"Dawn," I started but she wouldn't even look at me, she had that token stubborn look on her face and she just kept walking. "Dawn." Grabbing her by her arm I spun her around to look at me. "I'm sorry about Harry, I guess I didn't realize how close the two of you were." I wondered if now would be an oppurtune time to tell her that Harry wasn't really dead, just mostly undead.
"There's something else you have to know before you go storming off." Not that I was actually going to let her go storming off until I knew that she was okay and really only if she stayed in plain view of well, me. Clark was still out there somewhere and if he laid another finger on my sister I was going to make him sorry, flying or not. I'd find some way.
Buffy was following me and I wanted to yell at her some more. I knew I was acting a little crazy and even a little bratty but honestly what did anyone expect. I was so tired and this island was getting to me and that cave was so dark and I had just stayed huddled up for days hoping Clark would let me out or someone else would find me.
I didn't look at Buffy when she caught up to me until she grabbed me.
She said she was sorry about Harry and my eyes filled with tears again. Oh god. Harry. I stopped walking and just looked at her, feeling that weight settle back into my stomach. Oh god, it hurt. Like a vice grip. I hope Faith is okay, right, like anyone close to him could be okay right now?
I instantly felt bad for my tantrum. Buffy and Spike didn't know Harry well and god knew you couldn't deal with me when I was like that and be sane. Then there was Lex who was one of Harry's best friends and he had to deal with Clark.
I'd just panicked, I couldn't loose them. Forget super powers or people able to bring them back. The thought of loosing them again.
"He's my best friend Buffy," I said feeling like I was 12 again.
Then she started saying there was something else and I just looked at her. Something else?
Three words made the world tilt on its axis.
"Harry's a vampire."
Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Angel. There really was no other conclusion to make. Angel had ... why? I felt sick. Harry as a soulless vampire was a really scary thought.
"We should, we should get off the island and find Willow and she can ... oh god."
I felt my knees buckle and so I just fell down into the sand.
When she said he was her best friend, her voice sounded so small like a little girl. The way she sounded when she'd scrape her knee as a kid and come home crying asking me to patch it up for her. But that wasn't nearly as bad as the breakdown that would ensue after I'd informed her that Harry was now a vampire.
Willow? It didn't necessarily work like that and Dawn knew that. Granted, the whole witchy thing set my teeth on edge sometimes which you couldn't really blame me for considering Willow had more power in one of her pinky fingers than I had in my entire body but cursing Angel was specific to well, Angel. And frankly right now I wasn't sure that Angel didn't need to be recursed. After all, wasn't he the one frolicking in the jungle with his new spawn?
I wasn't entirely sure what to make of it, so I was mostly staying out of it until there came a point where I was going to have to do something about it. God, someone needed to get us off this island.
Dawn's knees buckled out from underneath her and I reached out to catch her and ended up sinking us both to the sand. Her nerves were fried and hearing about Harry on top of everything was enough to send her over the edge. If only things were as simple as putting a band-aid on a scraped knee.
"As soon as we get off this island, we'll talk to Willow about it. So far he hasn't been causing any trouble for anyone, maybe there's a way for him. I don't know." It wasn't what she wanted to hear but at least it was a glimmer of hope.
I didn't know what else to do for her so I just wrapped my arms around her and pulled her closer.
Buffy's arms were around me and I felt heavy, like all over it felt like I'd been strapped with weights and I had no choice but to let them pull me down. I couldn't hold myself up. And I felt really overdramatic but whatever. Thoughts running through my head were way more dramatic than anything I'd said.
That's right I toned down the bratty freak out.
I could hear the subtleness in Buffy's voice. I knew that Willow might not be able to do anything at all and really was it fair to literally curse Harry like that? It was just my first thought because god, Harry.
My eyes were dry now and I just stared out at the saltly water crashing softly against the sand.
"Buffy, how does this happen? How does life go from good to tragic in the blink of an eye?"
I didn't know if I really wanted her to answer that or not but I just left it there hanging in the air.
I wish that there was some answer I could give her to somehow make this better but there really wasn't one. What could I possibly say to her? That was just life, as soon as you felt like you had some control over it, it spun right back out of control again.
"It's okay." I said to her when she apologized for her breakdown. If Willow or Xander had suddenly been turned into vampires I would...I don't know what I'd do. Breakdown followed by staking them I guess. Not that I was going to let Dawn wander into the jungle to find Harry because that was just something that was never going to happen on my watch and believe me, Dawn was on my watch now.
"I'm surprised more people haven't freaked out with everything that's been going on since we've landed here." I said soothingly as I pushed strands of dark hair out of my sister's face.
I wasn't entirely freaked out, at least not as much as I probably should be. That could have something to do with the fact that most of my people seemed to be safe. I don't know when I stopped viewing Angel as my people but I guess it had to happen eventually.
I just nodded in response to her and let her try and soothe me. I felt like I was a little kid again and mom had died and the only person who could understand was Buffy. Of course now it was different and Buffy couldn't understand, not really. No one really could at least no one who'd probably talk to me. I didn't know what to do. Did I try to talk to Faith or someone else?
Should I feel the burning need to make Buffy go find Harry and Angel right now and stake them both? Could I even want Harry staked? Suddenly I thought I knew a fraction of what Buffy must have felt like when Angel had turned to Angelus all those years ago. Just a fraction and it hurt so much.
"I don't know what to do Buffy, what to say or how to feel. It's all wound up inside and I can't sort it out."
"There isn't anything you can do, Dawnie." I said as gently to her as I could. I knew what it felt like to be helpless, watching the people you cared about sucked into something that wasn't even themselves. And for as helpless as I wasn't that didn't make the helpless feeling go away. Because sometimes there really was nothing you could do about it.
"And whatever your feeling? It isn't wrong. There's no easy way to deal with what's going on. The only thing you can do is try to deal with it as best as you can and no matter what Harry still has two babies that I'm sure could use having your influence in their life." Especially with Faith as their mother but I didn't want to throw that out there. It seemed a little inappropriate given the circumstances.
"And whatever you decide you want to do about Harry you know that I will back you up. If you want me to go and find him and take care of him, I will."
What else could I really offer her? I could stay here and comfort her, offer her what I could as a sister. Or I could go out into the jungle and find the crazy vampires on the loose, offer her what I could as a slayer.
Turned my head when I saw someone comin' closer and closer and then eventually he had his arms wrapped around her and I went to take a step but Buffy did as well. Guess she knew him.
Er. Right, she knew him. Cryin' against him and what not.
Who was this bloke?
I'm fine, I'm fine.
Wasn't fine was she. Frowned and looked down at my hands before ballin' them up and crossin' my arms over my chest.
"Must be Lex then, yeah?" I asked. Didn't know for sure, but I would hope so ... I guess considerin' she was pressed up against him. Didn't much like that either but what could I do? I wasn't the one she turned to anymore. That went away a long time ago.
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Either way I wanted Dawn to be happy and I knew that for whatever reason Lex made her happy. All of that annoying millions of dollars and going out in the sun and not being impervious to bullets. He wasn't impervious to bullets, was he? Cause I'm not even that good.
Dawn was crying even harder now and I exchanged a look with Spike. There was no easy way to tell her about that, but we hadn't exactly told her the entire truth. I think both of us were a little dubious when it came to Angel right about now. Although not Spike, he's probably just dying to run off into the jungle after him. Forget all about me out here by myself thinking that he's dead for months and months.
I digress, really.
"Nobody's fine until we find a way off of this island." I admitted with a sigh as I looked at my sister before turning my gaze up towards her boyfriend. "And Clark's still out in the jungle. Someone's going to have to deal with him."
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"Yes, I'm Lex. Nice to meet you, crappy circumstances aside." I kept Dawn cradled against my chest while I looked up to take a better look at her rescuers. And didn't that feel like salt in an open wound that Clark managed to keep me pinned to one spot while others went and saved the woman I loved?
"No, we're not fine. We're in a lot more danger than you probably realize with Clark. I'll deal with him." Clark was my friend before I pushed him away with years of secrets and manipulation. He had always wanted to believe the best in me and I'd dissappointed him. But no one knew him like I did and I wasn't letting him hurt anyone else in his quest to get to me.
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I'm not even going to go into how Buffy and Spike are looking at him right now. If I had any energy to be angry and bratty I so would be, so you know they were getting off easy.
I shook my head. I had to focus on something and it really couldn't be Harry's death or even the fact that he had babies because that would really just screw with my head even more and I needed to feel better before I dealt with that. I mean honestly. There was no right way to deal with your best friends death right after you've escaped from days in a cave.
"You'll deal with him," I asked with a slight glare, "So he can what? lock you in a cave too and work out his issues? How about no. I will not loose you," I turned to Buffy and Spike, "Or either of you. So screw that. let Clark get eaten by a goddamn polar bear!"
Okay so I was a little angry. I knew there was something up with Clark and it wasn't really him. There's nothing knew with shit like that in our lives, but no. NO. I was not going to loose anyone else. Not my sister. Not Spike. And not Lex. I would shin kick them all to hell so they couldn't even walk.
"Not loosing anyone else. No. NO. NO!" And yeah, so I was feeling a little crazy too."
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I would say that he was never a priority, but that would be a lie.
We did have to deal with the Clark fella but he was alot stronger than ... me. And with Lex sayin' that he'd deal with him, did that mean ... right. Didn't quite want to know right now, 'sides, I had to deal with Dawn who seems to be attached to this bloke. Clearin' my throat, I gave a look to Buffy but was interuptted by Dawn.
Her tantrum went on and 'course, she was in a bit of shock, I suppose from you know, bein' in a cave and such. I wanted to hold her but ... that job was already taken, so I just stood there.
"What if he doesn't? Get eaten by a polar bear that is, Dawn? Someone has to stop him before he does somethin' again." Cause let's be honest, he moves a little too fast to get eaten by a damn polar bear.
So not fair, me thinks.
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I didn't really know him and frankly? I didn't really want to. I'd only met him once and it was safe to say I wasn't impressed. He did sort of throw me several feet through the air without breaking a sweat while simultaneously kicking Spike's ass but that didn't mean anything. I've lost battles before, but I always come out on top. And something needed to be done about Clark. What was Lex going to do? Write him a check?
"Dawn," I said as gently as I could. I wanted to pull her out of Lex's arms and wrap my own around her but I didn't think that would really go over all that well considering the circumstances. She might be a grown up now but she was still my sister. "Someone has to deal with him before he hurts someone else. You know that. There's enough slayers on this island that we should be able to box him in at least."
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"I know him better than anyone Dawn, I won't make it a fight because I know I'd lose but there are things that I know that can make it work. He's too strong he'd kill anyone that went up against him in a fight there's just no way I'm sending anyone to get hurt against him." All I really want to do is hide her away and keep her safe but Clark was my friend and I owed it to him and to myself to stop him.
"Don't think that just because you're strong you can take him on." I looked over at Buffy and Spike. "He doesn't have a lot of limits from what I can tell but he does have some weaknesses that maybe I can exploit."
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Why has everyone gone insane? Wasn't I the one locked in a cave for days?
"I don't know Spike, maybe he can fly off the island and leave us all alone, because oh yeah did I mention that I'm pretty sure he FLEW!"
They were not allowed to do this to me, not right now. Not when everything is so messed up in my head I'm two seconds away from bursting into tears and screaming simultaneously. Honestly, a little understanding that I don't want to loose anyone else is in order right about now.
I still say let the polar bears have him.
"Fine. Fine. You know what. FINE! You all go off and play hero like you always do and I'll sit on the beach mourning my dead best friend while everyone else I care about is off getting their asses kicked by the pyscho who kidnapped me and locked me in a cave. Go! GO AHEAD!"
I pulled out of Lex's embrace and started walking shakily down the beach. I didn't really think Clark was a pyscho, at least not the full blown kind. It was like he couldn't quite get what he was doing. But whatever.
Also, for the record. I know I'm being a brat. I know that screaming and crying and yelling at them is not going to do any good to anyone, least of all me with the way I feel right now but I did just get out of a cave to find out about Harry and ... really maybe I'm insane too but they are way more insane than me.
I yelled over my shoulder, "JUST DON'T EXPECT ME TO MOURN YOU! NOT AGAIN!"
That last part was pretty much directed to Spike and Buffy, because you know they've both died on me before. I am so not cut out for this.
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She grew up.
"Go on after her, love, I'll --"
Buffy didn't even wait for me to finish what I was sayin', she was already off. Not that I blame her, her sis and all that rot, so I just nodded as I watched her dart off.
"Right then," I muttered to myself and gave another look to Lex before turnin' around and headin' back to our little spot on the beach. Might as well play lap dog.
Seems to be workin'.
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Right now the only thing that had to be done was me going after my sister. I don't care if she is a grown up now with a rich boyfriend who can look after her, I'm never going to stop looking after her. Immediately I headed down the beach after her until I finally caught up with her and fell into step beside her.
I didn't know if Spike and Lex were behind us or not but I wasn't turning around to see. I had other priorities at the moment.
"Dawn," I started but she wouldn't even look at me, she had that token stubborn look on her face and she just kept walking. "Dawn." Grabbing her by her arm I spun her around to look at me. "I'm sorry about Harry, I guess I didn't realize how close the two of you were." I wondered if now would be an oppurtune time to tell her that Harry wasn't really dead, just mostly undead.
"There's something else you have to know before you go storming off." Not that I was actually going to let her go storming off until I knew that she was okay and really only if she stayed in plain view of well, me. Clark was still out there somewhere and if he laid another finger on my sister I was going to make him sorry, flying or not. I'd find some way.
"Harry's a vampire."
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I didn't look at Buffy when she caught up to me until she grabbed me.
She said she was sorry about Harry and my eyes filled with tears again. Oh god. Harry. I stopped walking and just looked at her, feeling that weight settle back into my stomach. Oh god, it hurt. Like a vice grip. I hope Faith is okay, right, like anyone close to him could be okay right now?
I instantly felt bad for my tantrum. Buffy and Spike didn't know Harry well and god knew you couldn't deal with me when I was like that and be sane. Then there was Lex who was one of Harry's best friends and he had to deal with Clark.
I'd just panicked, I couldn't loose them. Forget super powers or people able to bring them back. The thought of loosing them again.
"He's my best friend Buffy," I said feeling like I was 12 again.
Then she started saying there was something else and I just looked at her. Something else?
Three words made the world tilt on its axis.
"Harry's a vampire."
Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Angel. There really was no other conclusion to make. Angel had ... why? I felt sick. Harry as a soulless vampire was a really scary thought.
"We should, we should get off the island and find Willow and she can ... oh god."
I felt my knees buckle and so I just fell down into the sand.
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Willow? It didn't necessarily work like that and Dawn knew that. Granted, the whole witchy thing set my teeth on edge sometimes which you couldn't really blame me for considering Willow had more power in one of her pinky fingers than I had in my entire body but cursing Angel was specific to well, Angel. And frankly right now I wasn't sure that Angel didn't need to be recursed. After all, wasn't he the one frolicking in the jungle with his new spawn?
I wasn't entirely sure what to make of it, so I was mostly staying out of it until there came a point where I was going to have to do something about it. God, someone needed to get us off this island.
Dawn's knees buckled out from underneath her and I reached out to catch her and ended up sinking us both to the sand. Her nerves were fried and hearing about Harry on top of everything was enough to send her over the edge. If only things were as simple as putting a band-aid on a scraped knee.
"As soon as we get off this island, we'll talk to Willow about it. So far he hasn't been causing any trouble for anyone, maybe there's a way for him. I don't know." It wasn't what she wanted to hear but at least it was a glimmer of hope.
I didn't know what else to do for her so I just wrapped my arms around her and pulled her closer.
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That's right I toned down the bratty freak out.
I could hear the subtleness in Buffy's voice. I knew that Willow might not be able to do anything at all and really was it fair to literally curse Harry like that? It was just my first thought because god, Harry.
My eyes were dry now and I just stared out at the saltly water crashing softly against the sand.
"Buffy, how does this happen? How does life go from good to tragic in the blink of an eye?"
I didn't know if I really wanted her to answer that or not but I just left it there hanging in the air.
"I'm sorry I freaked out. I just, it's too much."
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"It's okay." I said to her when she apologized for her breakdown. If Willow or Xander had suddenly been turned into vampires I would...I don't know what I'd do. Breakdown followed by staking them I guess. Not that I was going to let Dawn wander into the jungle to find Harry because that was just something that was never going to happen on my watch and believe me, Dawn was on my watch now.
"I'm surprised more people haven't freaked out with everything that's been going on since we've landed here." I said soothingly as I pushed strands of dark hair out of my sister's face.
I wasn't entirely freaked out, at least not as much as I probably should be. That could have something to do with the fact that most of my people seemed to be safe. I don't know when I stopped viewing Angel as my people but I guess it had to happen eventually.
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Should I feel the burning need to make Buffy go find Harry and Angel right now and stake them both? Could I even want Harry staked? Suddenly I thought I knew a fraction of what Buffy must have felt like when Angel had turned to Angelus all those years ago. Just a fraction and it hurt so much.
"I don't know what to do Buffy, what to say or how to feel. It's all wound up inside and I can't sort it out."
And I still felt a little crazy.
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"And whatever your feeling? It isn't wrong. There's no easy way to deal with what's going on. The only thing you can do is try to deal with it as best as you can and no matter what Harry still has two babies that I'm sure could use having your influence in their life." Especially with Faith as their mother but I didn't want to throw that out there. It seemed a little inappropriate given the circumstances.
"And whatever you decide you want to do about Harry you know that I will back you up. If you want me to go and find him and take care of him, I will."
What else could I really offer her? I could stay here and comfort her, offer her what I could as a sister. Or I could go out into the jungle and find the crazy vampires on the loose, offer her what I could as a slayer.
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