(no subject)

[flytothe_end]

so, i'm wondering how many aspects of my life i'll actually be able to completely fuck before the year is done.

my family is driving me nuts.
i don't want to talk about what happened in florida.
i don't want to talk about how we are back to where we started.
i don't want to live here.
i don't want to have to leave to smoke a cigarette.
i don't want to have to pretend i'm happy to get people off my case.
i don't want to do this fucking homework.
i don't want to spend any more money.
i don't want to think about how i couldn't let you go.
i don't want to think about how jealous i was.
i don't want to be a teacher right now.
i don't want to sing right now.
i just want to sit.
i just want
to go back
and fix it.
and i want you to know that i'm not who i was when i was with you.
and i have no idea if i'll ever get the chance to show you
who i really am.
i'm fucking tired of living like this.
if i don't get out of this house,
i'm going to lose my fucking mind.
i should've gotten high when i had the chance.
i'm tired of being a fucking role model.