It's like the OC where I live
I've been thinking about this for the past few days and it just doesn't get any easier. It shouldn't bother me but it does for some reason.
My roommate's boyfriend broke up with her Monday. I didn't know about this until Tuesday. My buddy (who is also her boss and introduced us for roomies) has been coming over more often than before lately and has been talking with my roommate. I've been consoling her when I can, but frankly I don't know her as well as my buddy does. That and I'm not that great at consoling people (imagine Peter Griffin entertaining terminally ill kids...yeah that's me).
I'm certain that there's something more going on than "just friends" right now. Or if not now (which my buddy assured me that it's not), it will happen. Which is fine...even though my roommate is very cool and attractive, I really don't have any emotional feelings for her besides "as long as she pays half rent and half utilities".
What's bugging me is that my buddy keeps coming over a lot, gives me a wussup, and then proceeds to talk with her more.
I really can't figure out why that bothers me. Perhaps it's a feeling of abandonment that I'm losing one of my best buds to my roommate? Maybe, but I'm sure that's not the intention. I'm not the world's greatest conversationalist, but I feel like a 3rd wheel. I feel like I'm feeling left out. I've tried seeing this from the other perspective, where I go to my buddy's place and talk to him and his roommate (which is a guy) and to look at this from their perspective, but I can't understand it like that.
Last night the three of us went out to another friend's place for a barbecue and I felt like a damn third wheel in the car ride to and fro. I know that feeling because I've been there many times before and it's frankly annoying. More like it downright sucks. So I talk with another friend about this and he thinks it may be envy. I mean I know I'm not jealous because if I was, my roommate and my bud wouldn't even be within distance if I was nearby. It's not my business what they do and I'm trying to keep things that way. But perhaps my other friend is right...envy. I would like to have someone to talk to on a more emotional level sometimes. Yes, I do think about other things besides computers, boobs, and cards.
Maybe it is a bit of jealousy. Those two talk it up like they've been friends forever, whereas me and my roommate don't talk to each other that much (we're both more on the shy side of the scale).
Maybe just spilling this out (over the internets no less) is what I need...just a medium of release.
I kept thinking about this at work today (while telling people in the Carolinas that their internet is down because of a service outage....dammit people just take it and go). I thought about various scenarios...my buddy comes over and they go out on a date. I thought, awesome, place to myself. But then I think to when they come back over...then I get annoyed. Not sure why...maybe it's just because there's now a third person involved in my private sanctuary that's not there to talk with me. It's probably a feeling I'm used to since I've lived alone for so long. It's not right for me to do that either...my buddy opens up his place all the time for me and has let me stay there for a week while I was relocating. I'm thankful that he did that for me.
Maybe someone else out there can help me understand what I'm feeling and how to get through it. I really don't want this to bother me, and it shouldn't, but it is and I don't know why. Of all the thoughts that bother me most is when he comes over and he and my roommate talk and pretty much flirt and stuff all night (which will probably lead to more). If it were elsewhere, I really wouldn't care. I keep thinking about that if PDA sessions between them happened at a club or at his place and it wouldn't bother me, but over at our place (our being my and my roommate's place obviously), it does.
I don't know why.
My roommate's boyfriend broke up with her Monday. I didn't know about this until Tuesday. My buddy (who is also her boss and introduced us for roomies) has been coming over more often than before lately and has been talking with my roommate. I've been consoling her when I can, but frankly I don't know her as well as my buddy does. That and I'm not that great at consoling people (imagine Peter Griffin entertaining terminally ill kids...yeah that's me).
I'm certain that there's something more going on than "just friends" right now. Or if not now (which my buddy assured me that it's not), it will happen. Which is fine...even though my roommate is very cool and attractive, I really don't have any emotional feelings for her besides "as long as she pays half rent and half utilities".
What's bugging me is that my buddy keeps coming over a lot, gives me a wussup, and then proceeds to talk with her more.
I really can't figure out why that bothers me. Perhaps it's a feeling of abandonment that I'm losing one of my best buds to my roommate? Maybe, but I'm sure that's not the intention. I'm not the world's greatest conversationalist, but I feel like a 3rd wheel. I feel like I'm feeling left out. I've tried seeing this from the other perspective, where I go to my buddy's place and talk to him and his roommate (which is a guy) and to look at this from their perspective, but I can't understand it like that.
Last night the three of us went out to another friend's place for a barbecue and I felt like a damn third wheel in the car ride to and fro. I know that feeling because I've been there many times before and it's frankly annoying. More like it downright sucks. So I talk with another friend about this and he thinks it may be envy. I mean I know I'm not jealous because if I was, my roommate and my bud wouldn't even be within distance if I was nearby. It's not my business what they do and I'm trying to keep things that way. But perhaps my other friend is right...envy. I would like to have someone to talk to on a more emotional level sometimes. Yes, I do think about other things besides computers, boobs, and cards.
Maybe it is a bit of jealousy. Those two talk it up like they've been friends forever, whereas me and my roommate don't talk to each other that much (we're both more on the shy side of the scale).
Maybe just spilling this out (over the internets no less) is what I need...just a medium of release.
I kept thinking about this at work today (while telling people in the Carolinas that their internet is down because of a service outage....dammit people just take it and go). I thought about various scenarios...my buddy comes over and they go out on a date. I thought, awesome, place to myself. But then I think to when they come back over...then I get annoyed. Not sure why...maybe it's just because there's now a third person involved in my private sanctuary that's not there to talk with me. It's probably a feeling I'm used to since I've lived alone for so long. It's not right for me to do that either...my buddy opens up his place all the time for me and has let me stay there for a week while I was relocating. I'm thankful that he did that for me.
Maybe someone else out there can help me understand what I'm feeling and how to get through it. I really don't want this to bother me, and it shouldn't, but it is and I don't know why. Of all the thoughts that bother me most is when he comes over and he and my roommate talk and pretty much flirt and stuff all night (which will probably lead to more). If it were elsewhere, I really wouldn't care. I keep thinking about that if PDA sessions between them happened at a club or at his place and it wouldn't bother me, but over at our place (our being my and my roommate's place obviously), it does.
I don't know why.