lessons learned well in 2006
So, in lieu of resolutions I have decided just to remember what 2006 did to kick my ass in to gear, and what exactly I learned....because its good to do that sort of thing from time to time....or so I have heard.
Trust is a funny thing. It creates walls (or the lack there of does...) to keep people from getting close to you and hurting you. Evetually someone comes along to make you think that its ok to trust. To let the walls down. And the proess of doing that is a wonderful, albeit painful, experience.
Said trust-worthy person will ultimately let you down. Everyone will. You will even let yourself down. Its ok. We are human. Its how you let it affect you that makes or breaks the deal. And remember, intentions go a long way despite the outcome sometimes. So this person stomped on a big piece of you. The funny thing is, this person was either clueless to potential painful outcomes or was doing what he did trying to protect you. It may sound like total BS, but I think I have decided that I buy it. And that its time to move on.
If you don't trust people, you are lonely. And certain kinds of lonely are great. ANd some, well, some are not. But its all a learning experience.
If you don't let people in, your heart never gets broken. You never get let down, and while i am generally not a glutton for punishment, its valueable to be on the receiving end of things from time to time. Keeps you in check. Plus, I learned oodles and oodles about the kind of people I REALLY want in my life vs. the kind of people I generally let in. And I think, or would like to think, that I am getting better at deciphering between the two.
Hell hath no fury like a pissed off two year old that has been raised thus far to speak her mind. But dang if she isn't strong-willed. Makes for some great stories though.
Ain't no love like UU love, and thats the truth!
Mothers always will be that nag at the back of your mind sreaming louder then that voice telling you to go ahead and do it anyways. Hers is the voice that takes form as the stern, somewhat bitchy, good angel on your shoulder. Or that damn cricket....jiminy, right? Ah well, I learned two things from this. Sometimes, life is better having listened to that voice. And then there are times when you do it anyways, and the satisfaction of seeing the affects your choices have on certain people outweighs the consequences placed on you. (Why do I get the feeling that Karma will bite me in the ass for saying that shortly?)
I learned the true meaning of following your heart. And have no regrets.
I learned to accept help in many forms. I am all the more humble for it. And grateful to call these people my friends. I love you.
I learned what it feels like to return home. In a good way.
I learned how to relax a little. And with the help of some very special people, I learned its ok to treat myself well. Thank you.
I was shown, time and time again, that there are amazing people in my life, who have endless capacities to love, support, and care for me. Whether I asked them to or not.
Learned that hiking with a sleeping toddler on my back is not such an easy, or smart, task. But the rest in the shade halfway up was definetly a beautiful thing.
Sisters are sisters are sisters. No amount of separation with change that. They are me, I am them, and thats that. I learned that despite how much I try not to get too entwined with the dysfunction, I always will in a heartbeat, should they ever need or ask it of me.
Family is found in the places you least expect.
Money does make the world go round. But it still isn't everything.
Life as an eternal student means never being bored!
Being a parent is the best thing that has happened to me. Ever. If i never do anything right again, I will still be her mom, and that is enough. The love of my child is something I will never cease to hold as my highest acheivement in life. She is eough purpose for me.
Ok, thats enough re-learning for now. Most of you are all too far away. Or if your not, I still don't see you nearly enough. I hope 2007 brings you much joy, adventure and laughter.
Namaste
Amber
Trust is a funny thing. It creates walls (or the lack there of does...) to keep people from getting close to you and hurting you. Evetually someone comes along to make you think that its ok to trust. To let the walls down. And the proess of doing that is a wonderful, albeit painful, experience.
Said trust-worthy person will ultimately let you down. Everyone will. You will even let yourself down. Its ok. We are human. Its how you let it affect you that makes or breaks the deal. And remember, intentions go a long way despite the outcome sometimes. So this person stomped on a big piece of you. The funny thing is, this person was either clueless to potential painful outcomes or was doing what he did trying to protect you. It may sound like total BS, but I think I have decided that I buy it. And that its time to move on.
If you don't trust people, you are lonely. And certain kinds of lonely are great. ANd some, well, some are not. But its all a learning experience.
If you don't let people in, your heart never gets broken. You never get let down, and while i am generally not a glutton for punishment, its valueable to be on the receiving end of things from time to time. Keeps you in check. Plus, I learned oodles and oodles about the kind of people I REALLY want in my life vs. the kind of people I generally let in. And I think, or would like to think, that I am getting better at deciphering between the two.
Hell hath no fury like a pissed off two year old that has been raised thus far to speak her mind. But dang if she isn't strong-willed. Makes for some great stories though.
Ain't no love like UU love, and thats the truth!
Mothers always will be that nag at the back of your mind sreaming louder then that voice telling you to go ahead and do it anyways. Hers is the voice that takes form as the stern, somewhat bitchy, good angel on your shoulder. Or that damn cricket....jiminy, right? Ah well, I learned two things from this. Sometimes, life is better having listened to that voice. And then there are times when you do it anyways, and the satisfaction of seeing the affects your choices have on certain people outweighs the consequences placed on you. (Why do I get the feeling that Karma will bite me in the ass for saying that shortly?)
I learned the true meaning of following your heart. And have no regrets.
I learned to accept help in many forms. I am all the more humble for it. And grateful to call these people my friends. I love you.
I learned what it feels like to return home. In a good way.
I learned how to relax a little. And with the help of some very special people, I learned its ok to treat myself well. Thank you.
I was shown, time and time again, that there are amazing people in my life, who have endless capacities to love, support, and care for me. Whether I asked them to or not.
Learned that hiking with a sleeping toddler on my back is not such an easy, or smart, task. But the rest in the shade halfway up was definetly a beautiful thing.
Sisters are sisters are sisters. No amount of separation with change that. They are me, I am them, and thats that. I learned that despite how much I try not to get too entwined with the dysfunction, I always will in a heartbeat, should they ever need or ask it of me.
Family is found in the places you least expect.
Money does make the world go round. But it still isn't everything.
Life as an eternal student means never being bored!
Being a parent is the best thing that has happened to me. Ever. If i never do anything right again, I will still be her mom, and that is enough. The love of my child is something I will never cease to hold as my highest acheivement in life. She is eough purpose for me.
Ok, thats enough re-learning for now. Most of you are all too far away. Or if your not, I still don't see you nearly enough. I hope 2007 brings you much joy, adventure and laughter.
Namaste
Amber