how many rooms of one's own?

[flymetopolaris]

Yesterday, I laid on a grassy hill under the spotlight of a giant fluorescent lamp held high on a pole, I was the star of my own broadway show and I was the demon hole in the sky that's infinitely bigger than our own dear sun. Sometimes I wish the sky could suck me up like a vacuum during a tornado and I could exist but in another realm or dimension. I'm forgetting all the memories I told myself to keep forever. How do I know? I don't know, I have no recollection of even remembering. I don't feel intense emotions anymore. The year has rode on by like a sea of moderate contentment. I've been happy, but subdued.

But I don't want to be stationary, I want to explore!