Mar 14, 2005 17:19
So turns out, along with my eating disorder which i apparently have according to my fat ass family who now decides to tell me im overweight (i weigh 120, two months ago 110 so yeah i've gotten some pudge but im not obese) anyways along with that carlos and i are a million miles apart.
Carlos lives down the street from me and ever since our little tiff which had nothing to do with us it had to do with one and me, well eversince that he and i have been off. i went running to his house today and i was surprised to see a new piercing, new haircut, and new attitude. so emo. lol he got mad because he is tired of the overuse of the word emo and i think he is hinding some underlying hostility. repressing your emotions isn't healthy but w/e. so then i told him to get over himself and left, i was down the street when he called me back but i think he needs time to think things through. i think it has a lot to do with the grounding his grades and i guess teenage angst lol. cuchada know im here and will be as long as i possibly can i love you no matter what.
Today was the lenten prayer service i had to dress like some corporate buisiness woman lol i looked hott lol but i had to do this damn skit 5 times and i was tired, i swear this birth control im on makes me naucious, hungry, tired, and blah. i think the weight i've gained is due to the bc, but its going everywhere but my boobs. when are my damn boobs going to grow? lol. so now im on this serious excersise diet type thing to get hott for spring break and prom. mr brown (the little one) came to me and asked me if i wanted to graduate lol because i haven't turned in my portfolio, maybe i don't want to graduate, i mean as of now i have nothing to look forward to no acceptances yet, but no denials, and well i dunno i just feel like im in this bermuda triangle, where i can't look ahead and can't look behind me.
i saw albert and linda yesterday (my aunt and uncle)and their kids abraham and natalia, they also said i gained weight, but albert is my favorite uncle, he has always had my back and is so spiritual but so funny and fun and a great father and husband. linda ive always liked cus she's so sweet and loving and their kids omg abraham is a little whiner but he is such a character and nati well she sounds like elmo lol and is the cutest thing ever. they live in tampa, i miss them so much i wish they lived down here, supposedly they might move down if albert gets a job here but it won't be for another year which won't really help me cus i might be away at college.
ugh college. so this girl who i despise got into fsu with a 2.4 and a 1270, and i've been waiting FOREVER to get in with a 2.9 and a 1160! her gpa is so much lower that her high SAT score can't possibly be the deciding factor, and extracurricular activities ha! she did liturgy club, that's it. i've done almost everything, SGA, ITS, tech club, lit club, journalism, tv pro, wrestling manager, sports med, iv'e competed in states, i was in band, ive been homeroom rep for 3 years and im now historian, i mean the list goes on, all the retreats ive led, my mainstage and community service plays wtf! it dissapoints me, i know my dad is dissapointed too and i know it dissapoints danny, i mean he says i deserve to get in but i dunno, maybe i don't. then im like well if her fat ass got in the ill get in but look at me here waiting til april 1st. im pathetic.
i need a haircut. i have thick hair so i have to get it cutt with edging scissors lol like a dog. i need to do my toes, eyebrows, nails, ugh i need to shave EVERYTHING, i feel like a hairy mongrol. lol is that how you even spelll that word? lol i dunno.
im done i need to change my background its bothering me xoxo