new record of dell connects, yo
So my Dimension 4800 has gone mute. It is giving me the cold shoulder, the silent treatment, the Shun. Just how cold is this cold, cold fish you ask?
I finally got off the phone with a Dell support tech after a little over 6 hours of global bonding and my desktop? Still mute.
See, the thing is I call at first. And some lady answers, makes me repeat my name, my father's name, my area code, my service tag, my shoe size, my weight, what was the last thing I ate for dinner? 5 times.
Then she makes me spell each one of those out.
5 times also.
Then she tries to get me to go to remote.dell.com. A URL which she repeats to me no matter how much I insist that the page is a blank for me. She can't imagine why! Let's try harder! Okay! R as in robot, E as in emu... Are you SURE you're connected to the internet? Maybe you're just IMAGINING that you're talking to people on AIM? Are you REALLY checking your email???
So anyway. When I finally couldn't take the Sesame Street anymore I was like - uh - I don't think this is working out kthxbye. Except she calls me back and is like OMGZ WE GOT DISCONNECTED KK ONCE MORE WITH FEELING. And then a little piece of my died inside.
She finally realizes that we aren't getting anywhere and just hangs up on me (OH THANK GOD) and I'm liek uh k, not going through that again and I hop on the tech chat. I don't care if they type 5 wpm JUST NO MORE ABC'S PLZ.
Tech chat dude is hip though! In no time at all he had me on that remote.dell.com thing and was hijacking my computer -- but - but we've only been on one date -- oh well, all right teeehee. He eventually calls me and is like:
Dell Tech Dude: ur computer is a tard. I mean, sup?
Me: I didn't do it -- oh, sorry reflex.
Dell Tech Dude: So shouldn't you Californians be sleeping?
Me: Only the freaks sleep before 4am. What about you?
Dell Tech Dude: Dude, it's 12pm here.
Me: !?!
Dell Tech Dude: I'm hijacking your system from India. So what movies do you like? :)
And now here we are:
- My computer's sound still fails.
- Dell Tech Dude used to work in a cafeteria before this job.
- I have become so pro at ripping my sound card out of my system tower and putting it back in that - that I rip really, really pro-ly.
- He was hijacking my computer from INDIA.
- It also snows in India.
- Because like. There are mountains?!?! Whut.
- Cooooool.
I finally got off the phone with a Dell support tech after a little over 6 hours of global bonding and my desktop? Still mute.
See, the thing is I call at first. And some lady answers, makes me repeat my name, my father's name, my area code, my service tag, my shoe size, my weight, what was the last thing I ate for dinner? 5 times.
Then she makes me spell each one of those out.
5 times also.
Then she tries to get me to go to remote.dell.com. A URL which she repeats to me no matter how much I insist that the page is a blank for me. She can't imagine why! Let's try harder! Okay! R as in robot, E as in emu... Are you SURE you're connected to the internet? Maybe you're just IMAGINING that you're talking to people on AIM? Are you REALLY checking your email???
So anyway. When I finally couldn't take the Sesame Street anymore I was like - uh - I don't think this is working out kthxbye. Except she calls me back and is like OMGZ WE GOT DISCONNECTED KK ONCE MORE WITH FEELING. And then a little piece of my died inside.
She finally realizes that we aren't getting anywhere and just hangs up on me (OH THANK GOD) and I'm liek uh k, not going through that again and I hop on the tech chat. I don't care if they type 5 wpm JUST NO MORE ABC'S PLZ.
Tech chat dude is hip though! In no time at all he had me on that remote.dell.com thing and was hijacking my computer -- but - but we've only been on one date -- oh well, all right teeehee. He eventually calls me and is like:
Dell Tech Dude: ur computer is a tard. I mean, sup?
Me: I didn't do it -- oh, sorry reflex.
Dell Tech Dude: So shouldn't you Californians be sleeping?
Me: Only the freaks sleep before 4am. What about you?
Dell Tech Dude: Dude, it's 12pm here.
Me: !?!
Dell Tech Dude: I'm hijacking your system from India. So what movies do you like? :)
And now here we are:
- My computer's sound still fails.
- Dell Tech Dude used to work in a cafeteria before this job.
- I have become so pro at ripping my sound card out of my system tower and putting it back in that - that I rip really, really pro-ly.
- He was hijacking my computer from INDIA.
- It also snows in India.
- Because like. There are mountains?!?! Whut.
- Cooooool.