I'm back, perhaps.
We'll see how long using this thing actually lasts. But here is one entry, anyway. I was looking back at what I wrote in here at the end of ninth/tenth grade. I've really changed a lot, I noticed, though it may not seem it. I was so...bouncy then. Bright and cheerful. Yes, in groups of friends I am still bouncy, but I've gotten much quieter and more serious, even since the beginning of this year. Even as I've gotten more confident in some areas, I've closed into myself more in others. Things seem less and less guaranteed, so I try to tread carefully. As things open up, it's fun to play with the new space, but you also have to make sure you don't slip off the edge.
(if anybody knows what i mean there)
I cannot believe junior year is about to be over. I will be a senior, and then that's it. I just cleaned out my last locker, and I can't say I was sorry to see it go. Lockers and I don't get along very well. Apparently it had a habit of dumping things on the heads of people who tried to leave me notes. Sorry guys. But still, senior year. I will have spend 1/3 of my life at the williams school by the time I leave. When I got there, I was 12 years old, hadn't given a thought about college, and had never sung in front of anyone in my life. Now, I know where I currently want to go to school, am frightened and excited by my impending 18th birthday, and desperately want to become an actress. I wonder, would all that have happened at any school, or would I have latched onto something else? Stuck with painting instead, perhaps...who can say. Music has become so much a bigger part of my life as well...piano has gone from the mandatory evil of elementary school to my second source of oxygen. I can't take comp next year, since it doesn't fit in my schedule, but I will never stop composing. Lyrics are my next step.
But before I let premature nostalgia take over, I have summer. Work, driving lessons at last, and VOICE LESSONS. I cannot believe it, I never thought I was going to have a chance to take voice lessons before I got out of highschool. Maybe I will be able to get a solo part in the musical again before graduating, (it will be secret garden this year and most of you can probably figure out who I want to audition for), though I won't get my hopes up yet. Other than that, I am going to a writing program that parents and teachers nagged me to apply for (and I must admit I'm glad i did), and I'm going to ypi for acting. Ha, I was intending to apply for a job to be a counselor somewhere this summer, but somehow I ended up a camper for the first time in a while instead
Somewhere along the way with getting more confident and closer to my friends, I also got shy again. It scares me lately, how guarded I am, even with greeting people in the hallway. I mess things up when I get shy, and am starting to worry that it/I will keep certain things from ever happening.
I have so much more to write but I should study (last 2 finals ever!). This was not a very bright entry, but I promise that, although I am not the glib freshman/sophomore I was when this journal got the most use, I still love to laugh more than anything...still me :). It's just that I've gone from bottom to top to somewhere in between this year, and am not quite sure where to begin. Things will be less confusing once summer starts.
(if anybody knows what i mean there)
I cannot believe junior year is about to be over. I will be a senior, and then that's it. I just cleaned out my last locker, and I can't say I was sorry to see it go. Lockers and I don't get along very well. Apparently it had a habit of dumping things on the heads of people who tried to leave me notes. Sorry guys. But still, senior year. I will have spend 1/3 of my life at the williams school by the time I leave. When I got there, I was 12 years old, hadn't given a thought about college, and had never sung in front of anyone in my life. Now, I know where I currently want to go to school, am frightened and excited by my impending 18th birthday, and desperately want to become an actress. I wonder, would all that have happened at any school, or would I have latched onto something else? Stuck with painting instead, perhaps...who can say. Music has become so much a bigger part of my life as well...piano has gone from the mandatory evil of elementary school to my second source of oxygen. I can't take comp next year, since it doesn't fit in my schedule, but I will never stop composing. Lyrics are my next step.
But before I let premature nostalgia take over, I have summer. Work, driving lessons at last, and VOICE LESSONS. I cannot believe it, I never thought I was going to have a chance to take voice lessons before I got out of highschool. Maybe I will be able to get a solo part in the musical again before graduating, (it will be secret garden this year and most of you can probably figure out who I want to audition for), though I won't get my hopes up yet. Other than that, I am going to a writing program that parents and teachers nagged me to apply for (and I must admit I'm glad i did), and I'm going to ypi for acting. Ha, I was intending to apply for a job to be a counselor somewhere this summer, but somehow I ended up a camper for the first time in a while instead
Somewhere along the way with getting more confident and closer to my friends, I also got shy again. It scares me lately, how guarded I am, even with greeting people in the hallway. I mess things up when I get shy, and am starting to worry that it/I will keep certain things from ever happening.
I have so much more to write but I should study (last 2 finals ever!). This was not a very bright entry, but I promise that, although I am not the glib freshman/sophomore I was when this journal got the most use, I still love to laugh more than anything...still me :). It's just that I've gone from bottom to top to somewhere in between this year, and am not quite sure where to begin. Things will be less confusing once summer starts.