Fic: Confidence -- Teen/Mature
Title: Confidence
Author: Fabrisse
Pairing: Nathan/Peter
Rating: Teen/Mature for a blink and you’ll miss it reference to underaged sex
Word Count: just under 1,000
Category: Drama
Prompt: heroes_fest 212 Peter/Nathan - can’t say no to you.
Warnings: Brothers kiss
Spoilers: None, pre-season 1
Summary: Nathan compares his sixteen year old brother to himself at the same age.
Notes: Betaed by riverfox. Any remaining errors are mine.
Peter is sixteen and has a confidence Nathan knows he lacked at the same age.
A neutral observer might scoff. Nathan Petrelli at sixteen could wear evening clothes like he was to the manner born. Nathan Petrelli at sixteen was about to graduate from high school as valedictorian because he'd skipped third and seventh grades. Nathan Petrelli at sixteen could talk to any adult and sound impressive.
But Nathan knows the confidence perceived in his sixteen year old self was a façade. He asked to test out of third grade because he didn't like the teacher, and, more importantly the teacher made it very clear that Nathan was fair game for the other kids. People thought it was brave that he went to the school principal and asked to be moved into fourth grade. Nathan knew it had been fear that got him there.
The story in seventh grade was similar. He was already at boarding school by then. His roommates were not kind to him. A month into the school year, he finally beat the snot out of Eddie, or was it Jimmy, when the guy made the mistake of taking Nathan on without backup. Nathan went to the Chaplain and explained the situation. He requested the final exams for every class he was taking or expected to take in grade seven. He passed them all, and was put into a room with three eighth graders. They took care of Nathan, and Nathan let them touch him after lights out, learned how to suck them off. Gentleness and protection were a fair trade off for sex, even at twelve.
Nathan wore clothes well because he couldn't bear the disappointment in his mother's voice if he didn't look like the perfect Petrelli; he was well-spoken on a wide range of topics because he couldn't bear to disappoint his father when important clients were brought home.
The only word Nathan remembers hearing from his parents is ‘no.’ No, he couldn't come home for Thanksgiving if the Jameson's had invited him. No, he couldn't go to high school in New York. No, he wasn't going to go to Notre Dame and take Navy ROTC.
He couldn't remember one thing he'd ever done for fun before Peter was born. His toys were educational; his free time was scheduled to the minute.
When he was nineteen, his motherbackhanded him across the face and called him a disgrace. His parents took care of Meredith -- money and a one-way ticket home to Texas had been enough for her.
It hadn't been enough for Nathan. He counted that slap as the moment when he grew up. It was the moment he started saying ‘no.’
Nathan kept in touch with Meredith. He chose to enter the Navy on active duty rather than go straight into the reserves. He passed the aptitude tests for flying and switched his major in order to guarantee flight school and the extra pay for his family of three.
When his mother saw the picture of Meredith and the baby he had by his bedside, she froze. For a minute, Nathan thought he was going to be slapped again. Peter came running in at that moment, and all his mother did was put the photograph down. He received news of the fire just after he'd completed his last final exam for the year.
To this day, Nathan wishes he could believe it was a coincidence.
He sees Peter across the room looking like an unmade bed: collar open, tie askew. He's in a suit, not a dinner jacket, and he's completely at home with the other teenagers present.
Peter's word is ‘yes.’ Nathan missed most of his brother's infancy and
early childhood. He assumed it was deliberate on their parents’ part. But from the time Peter was five and Nathan was seventeen, Nathan has only been able to say ‘yes’ to his little brother.
Peter wanted fun toys for Christmas and his birthday. Nathan made certain he got the ones he wanted. Peter wanted to learn drums instead of piano, and Nathan argued with his parents until Peter got it. When Peter didn't get the puppy he wanted for his eleventh birthday, Nathan took him to the pound to pick one out.
The reward for saying ‘yes’ is to see Peter confident. Even when Peter's unhappy, he's unhappy on his own terms, and Nathan knows someday Peter will understand what a privilege choice is.
‘No’ gives a person discipline, but ‘yes’ gives a person courage. Nathan has never failed at anything trivial (he never counts the gigantic failure of Meredith and Claire), because he's never tried anything off the path. Peter fails all the time and laughs it off because the attempt has value on its own terms. When Nathan learned to ski, he took lots of lessons and stayed on the easy slopes, green and blue runs, until he was absolutely ready. When Peter learned to ski, he took a one hour lesson and skied a black diamond run, albeit because he made a wrong turn, on his second day.
‘Yes’ gave Peter the courage to defend what he thought was right.
Sometime within the past year, Nathan realized Peter said ‘yes’ to him, too. Peter's ‘yes’ let Nathan turn down a job with Dad's law firm and gave him the courage to apply for a Supreme Court clerkship.
When he won the clerkship, Peter's ‘yes’ let Nathan ask out the nice girl who worked at the Smithsonian rather than pursue the type of woman his parents kept pushing at him. Peter's ‘yes’ was Nathan's safety net of unconditional love. Peter's ‘yes’ gave Nathan Heidi, the DA's office, and a chance to run for high office one day.
When the party is so completely over that even the staff has gone to bed, Peter stops Nathan under some mistletoe. There's confidence in the way he reaches up toward Nathan, and so much love in his eyes that Nathan wonders what it is exactly that Peter sees.
But there's never any question. When their lips meet, when the kiss aches and flows between them, the answer to everything is ‘yes.’
Author: Fabrisse
Pairing: Nathan/Peter
Rating: Teen/Mature for a blink and you’ll miss it reference to underaged sex
Word Count: just under 1,000
Category: Drama
Prompt: heroes_fest 212 Peter/Nathan - can’t say no to you.
Warnings: Brothers kiss
Spoilers: None, pre-season 1
Summary: Nathan compares his sixteen year old brother to himself at the same age.
Notes: Betaed by riverfox. Any remaining errors are mine.
Peter is sixteen and has a confidence Nathan knows he lacked at the same age.
A neutral observer might scoff. Nathan Petrelli at sixteen could wear evening clothes like he was to the manner born. Nathan Petrelli at sixteen was about to graduate from high school as valedictorian because he'd skipped third and seventh grades. Nathan Petrelli at sixteen could talk to any adult and sound impressive.
But Nathan knows the confidence perceived in his sixteen year old self was a façade. He asked to test out of third grade because he didn't like the teacher, and, more importantly the teacher made it very clear that Nathan was fair game for the other kids. People thought it was brave that he went to the school principal and asked to be moved into fourth grade. Nathan knew it had been fear that got him there.
The story in seventh grade was similar. He was already at boarding school by then. His roommates were not kind to him. A month into the school year, he finally beat the snot out of Eddie, or was it Jimmy, when the guy made the mistake of taking Nathan on without backup. Nathan went to the Chaplain and explained the situation. He requested the final exams for every class he was taking or expected to take in grade seven. He passed them all, and was put into a room with three eighth graders. They took care of Nathan, and Nathan let them touch him after lights out, learned how to suck them off. Gentleness and protection were a fair trade off for sex, even at twelve.
Nathan wore clothes well because he couldn't bear the disappointment in his mother's voice if he didn't look like the perfect Petrelli; he was well-spoken on a wide range of topics because he couldn't bear to disappoint his father when important clients were brought home.
The only word Nathan remembers hearing from his parents is ‘no.’ No, he couldn't come home for Thanksgiving if the Jameson's had invited him. No, he couldn't go to high school in New York. No, he wasn't going to go to Notre Dame and take Navy ROTC.
He couldn't remember one thing he'd ever done for fun before Peter was born. His toys were educational; his free time was scheduled to the minute.
When he was nineteen, his motherbackhanded him across the face and called him a disgrace. His parents took care of Meredith -- money and a one-way ticket home to Texas had been enough for her.
It hadn't been enough for Nathan. He counted that slap as the moment when he grew up. It was the moment he started saying ‘no.’
Nathan kept in touch with Meredith. He chose to enter the Navy on active duty rather than go straight into the reserves. He passed the aptitude tests for flying and switched his major in order to guarantee flight school and the extra pay for his family of three.
When his mother saw the picture of Meredith and the baby he had by his bedside, she froze. For a minute, Nathan thought he was going to be slapped again. Peter came running in at that moment, and all his mother did was put the photograph down. He received news of the fire just after he'd completed his last final exam for the year.
To this day, Nathan wishes he could believe it was a coincidence.
He sees Peter across the room looking like an unmade bed: collar open, tie askew. He's in a suit, not a dinner jacket, and he's completely at home with the other teenagers present.
Peter's word is ‘yes.’ Nathan missed most of his brother's infancy and
early childhood. He assumed it was deliberate on their parents’ part. But from the time Peter was five and Nathan was seventeen, Nathan has only been able to say ‘yes’ to his little brother.
Peter wanted fun toys for Christmas and his birthday. Nathan made certain he got the ones he wanted. Peter wanted to learn drums instead of piano, and Nathan argued with his parents until Peter got it. When Peter didn't get the puppy he wanted for his eleventh birthday, Nathan took him to the pound to pick one out.
The reward for saying ‘yes’ is to see Peter confident. Even when Peter's unhappy, he's unhappy on his own terms, and Nathan knows someday Peter will understand what a privilege choice is.
‘No’ gives a person discipline, but ‘yes’ gives a person courage. Nathan has never failed at anything trivial (he never counts the gigantic failure of Meredith and Claire), because he's never tried anything off the path. Peter fails all the time and laughs it off because the attempt has value on its own terms. When Nathan learned to ski, he took lots of lessons and stayed on the easy slopes, green and blue runs, until he was absolutely ready. When Peter learned to ski, he took a one hour lesson and skied a black diamond run, albeit because he made a wrong turn, on his second day.
‘Yes’ gave Peter the courage to defend what he thought was right.
Sometime within the past year, Nathan realized Peter said ‘yes’ to him, too. Peter's ‘yes’ let Nathan turn down a job with Dad's law firm and gave him the courage to apply for a Supreme Court clerkship.
When he won the clerkship, Peter's ‘yes’ let Nathan ask out the nice girl who worked at the Smithsonian rather than pursue the type of woman his parents kept pushing at him. Peter's ‘yes’ was Nathan's safety net of unconditional love. Peter's ‘yes’ gave Nathan Heidi, the DA's office, and a chance to run for high office one day.
When the party is so completely over that even the staff has gone to bed, Peter stops Nathan under some mistletoe. There's confidence in the way he reaches up toward Nathan, and so much love in his eyes that Nathan wonders what it is exactly that Peter sees.
But there's never any question. When their lips meet, when the kiss aches and flows between them, the answer to everything is ‘yes.’