be an editor and a critic.
i would like your help, if you are willing to comply.
i am applying to a university for a creative writing program this summer.
and i need to send in two samples of my writing.
i wrote this piece on march 11 in my journal after surgery.
i may have already read this to a few of you if you visited me.
i like constructive critism and gramatical ( Read more... )
I wouldn't dare touch what you've written, because you wrote it then, only nights after your surgery, and it's a moment frozen in time that if you edited now, would lose it's reality.
the only problems I found were grammatical ones. in the 5th paragraph, choking was incorrectly spelled "chocking" which might've just been from typing it up..and a few paragraphs after that there was a sentence that didn't make sense because it had a word or two missing. I forgot exactly where...but it's really very good. at first i was thinking that the last paragraph sounded too much like a "this is what i learned from what happened" type of paragraph...but I just got completely blown away by the last few sentences. The beautiful rawness and confidence in your description of what you went through is really something to be proud of.
Really I would leave everything else. If there were some other things I could suggest you change, I'd say them.
But I can't because anything like this -- anything at all that comes from the heart is flawless.
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i can't spell to begin with, so i don't have if that was a typing error.
and thank you for your compliments.
i have a theme for my sample writings:
both have to do with my injury.
the other is a process analysis essay that i wrote for one of mr. olivia's creative writing assignments on how to survive surgery.
what can i say-- it was an emotional time and inspired creativity.
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