(no subject)

[flyingdrake]

a couple of weeks ago i spared with pat, we both landed some good strikes, lots of fun, sigh, i know i am lot more controlled then i used to be, no throw down fights anymore at socials, that used to be such a great rush though( sorry gentry, not sorry kelsey, biter). though an aire of civility and (some) manner is something that is good to maintain. the humilation was pretty bad, both felt by myself and my friends. i remember lucas beratting me about how immature it was, he was right, i knew it, ..nah as i'm reflecting and typing this, i like this better, the more controlled me.

sigh

i should actually get formally trained, to learn my strenght, restraint, control, etc. sometimes that overactive superego is right, bitch.