"So did you just do well on your SATs or something?"
the Character Acting professor asked me, wondering how a stupid brick such as myself got into NYU Gallatin. She had asked me what kinds of grades I got in high school, and I was honest--I got Bs mostly. I wanted to tell her the truth so badly.
-Actually, yes. I got a 1480 on my first go at it and a 1510 on the second. And THAT, dearie, got me into Cornell and Mount Holyoke. I only came to your B-rate university because it was the cheapest option. Yes, the cheapest option. Maybe I like sucking admission officer cock, or maybe someone got a boner for my essays.
But I didn't want her to flunk me before the term was over.
"Uh, yeah, pretty much," I replied.
"And you just didn't show up to the show last month. The tickets were free. That makes me look bad if I arrange free tickets for my class and people don't go. You didn't even let me know beforehand."
-My mother was having a medical crisis the day before, and maybe I should have told you I wasn't going to make it, but that didn't occur to me because I wasn't thinking about it! I don't even know what an encapsulated hernia is, and nor will you because I will not explain myself to you--I don't know you.
"I completely forgot. I'm sorry," I said meekly.
"Of course! It's my reputation!"
-Look, crazy lady, I don't know you and you're clearly not trying to be my friend, so I don't give a rat's ass about your reputation.
"Um, yeah. I'm sorry about that."
Apparently, I was supposed to have learned something by running around the room, making a buffoonery of myself every week. Insulting students is not the way to motivate them.
-Actually, yes. I got a 1480 on my first go at it and a 1510 on the second. And THAT, dearie, got me into Cornell and Mount Holyoke. I only came to your B-rate university because it was the cheapest option. Yes, the cheapest option. Maybe I like sucking admission officer cock, or maybe someone got a boner for my essays.
But I didn't want her to flunk me before the term was over.
"Uh, yeah, pretty much," I replied.
"And you just didn't show up to the show last month. The tickets were free. That makes me look bad if I arrange free tickets for my class and people don't go. You didn't even let me know beforehand."
-My mother was having a medical crisis the day before, and maybe I should have told you I wasn't going to make it, but that didn't occur to me because I wasn't thinking about it! I don't even know what an encapsulated hernia is, and nor will you because I will not explain myself to you--I don't know you.
"I completely forgot. I'm sorry," I said meekly.
"Of course! It's my reputation!"
-Look, crazy lady, I don't know you and you're clearly not trying to be my friend, so I don't give a rat's ass about your reputation.
"Um, yeah. I'm sorry about that."
Apparently, I was supposed to have learned something by running around the room, making a buffoonery of myself every week. Insulting students is not the way to motivate them.