Chico
I would call the thread Ch!co but that would be putting down the greatest superhero/popstar group of all time. I'm destroying my ears for your benefit. I don't know why I always happen to come accross the most nauseatingly amazing eurotrash news that is available but I do.
Chico has become the first Arab to top the British pop singles chart wish his single "It's Chico Time!" now the song is terrible. It's probably the most annoying and uninteresting song that I've ever heard in my entire life. But of course, as with most Eurotrash pop singles it isn't the the music that makes it amazing. The "It's Chico Time!" video, while it may look innocent and stupid to the average viewer, is actually quite disturbing.
Let's take first off the basics of the video. We have...I don't know...40 year old cheerleaders...who are dancing spastically while Chico spouts his propaganda of taking life too seriously (yet notice he doesn't really offer a solution other than it in fact being chico time). Now we also have a bunch of kids in this video. One particularly bitchy girl seems to be the coreographer, and I believe that part is true. Now we see Chico, his old whores, and his young subjects all dancing around on a set that looks like a retarded version of the one used in Kelis' "Trick Me" video. I'm sorry Chico, it worked for Kelis but, well, your milkshake barely brings me to the yard and I'm really easy.
Innocent enough? WRONG! Let's look at Chico's past. He used to be a goat herder, then moved up in to world to male stripper. I am not making this up. So suddenly it all makes sense. No? Let me explain. Male strippers and goat herders have something in common that is also inherent in pop stars. They all know how to control the mass population into doing what they want to do. Think about it. Goat Herders is pretty simple, they heard goats, control them more like. Male strippers (or female strippers) control people with sex, no one can resist a stripper, just try and soon all your money will be in a G-String and you'll have to go home and explain it to your wife/husband/empty lonely house. Pop stars are CRAP and yet everyone loves them. Chico's single dethroned MADONNA!!!! This is possibly one of the worst songs I've ever heard and it dethroned MADONNA!!!! She's like pop music's massiah. See what a dangerous man Chico is?
Now let's take this one step further. Chico, at his most basic, is Arab. Arab. Let's think about this. Arab. What are we all being slowly mindwashed to believe Arabs are? That's right. Terrorists. Now put it all together. Chico has developed a new form of terrorism, AURAL TERRORISM!!! With his melodic poo he's slowly gaining a foothold on britain...then europe...asia...the US!!! Normally Eurotrash doesn't make it into american culture, but you just wait, Chico will start surfacing everywhere with some stupid internet video like that numa numa kid and then everyone will know Chico, listen to Chico, buy Chico, obey Chico...and it will be Chico time......FOREVER!!!!!
Did you get the big picture yet????? Do you believe me???? How about I provide more proof. Ch!pz, are defenders of freedom and righteousness....somehow they find themselves in the heart of an arabian nights story. But with all their other videos we kind of have an idea of why they are where they are, who called them there, and so forth. In 1001 Arabian Nights we see how they get involved in this particular problem when that arabian man awkwardly runs up to them going "help help" but they were already in the desert...now why were they there? That's right, they were already on a mission. But what could possibly bring them to the deserts of Egypt? Anyone who knows Moroccan knows it's a bastardization of Arabic and French, commonly spoken in Egypt and other 'arabian-african' nations, such as Morocco is. Ch!pz was already on the trail of Chico before we ever heard the name. But if Chico is around, making his move...what cruel fate has befallen our heros? Only time will tell. So avenge Ch!pz by spreading the word of the evilness of Chico...but also pray, harder than you've ever prayed before, that Rach-L, Peter, C!lla and David I MEAN KEV!N will rise again and bring down this monster. Afterall, who else can we rely on to keep us safe with Banaroo always off in space?
Chico has become the first Arab to top the British pop singles chart wish his single "It's Chico Time!" now the song is terrible. It's probably the most annoying and uninteresting song that I've ever heard in my entire life. But of course, as with most Eurotrash pop singles it isn't the the music that makes it amazing. The "It's Chico Time!" video, while it may look innocent and stupid to the average viewer, is actually quite disturbing.
Let's take first off the basics of the video. We have...I don't know...40 year old cheerleaders...who are dancing spastically while Chico spouts his propaganda of taking life too seriously (yet notice he doesn't really offer a solution other than it in fact being chico time). Now we also have a bunch of kids in this video. One particularly bitchy girl seems to be the coreographer, and I believe that part is true. Now we see Chico, his old whores, and his young subjects all dancing around on a set that looks like a retarded version of the one used in Kelis' "Trick Me" video. I'm sorry Chico, it worked for Kelis but, well, your milkshake barely brings me to the yard and I'm really easy.
Innocent enough? WRONG! Let's look at Chico's past. He used to be a goat herder, then moved up in to world to male stripper. I am not making this up. So suddenly it all makes sense. No? Let me explain. Male strippers and goat herders have something in common that is also inherent in pop stars. They all know how to control the mass population into doing what they want to do. Think about it. Goat Herders is pretty simple, they heard goats, control them more like. Male strippers (or female strippers) control people with sex, no one can resist a stripper, just try and soon all your money will be in a G-String and you'll have to go home and explain it to your wife/husband/empty lonely house. Pop stars are CRAP and yet everyone loves them. Chico's single dethroned MADONNA!!!! This is possibly one of the worst songs I've ever heard and it dethroned MADONNA!!!! She's like pop music's massiah. See what a dangerous man Chico is?
Now let's take this one step further. Chico, at his most basic, is Arab. Arab. Let's think about this. Arab. What are we all being slowly mindwashed to believe Arabs are? That's right. Terrorists. Now put it all together. Chico has developed a new form of terrorism, AURAL TERRORISM!!! With his melodic poo he's slowly gaining a foothold on britain...then europe...asia...the US!!! Normally Eurotrash doesn't make it into american culture, but you just wait, Chico will start surfacing everywhere with some stupid internet video like that numa numa kid and then everyone will know Chico, listen to Chico, buy Chico, obey Chico...and it will be Chico time......FOREVER!!!!!
Did you get the big picture yet????? Do you believe me???? How about I provide more proof. Ch!pz, are defenders of freedom and righteousness....somehow they find themselves in the heart of an arabian nights story. But with all their other videos we kind of have an idea of why they are where they are, who called them there, and so forth. In 1001 Arabian Nights we see how they get involved in this particular problem when that arabian man awkwardly runs up to them going "help help" but they were already in the desert...now why were they there? That's right, they were already on a mission. But what could possibly bring them to the deserts of Egypt? Anyone who knows Moroccan knows it's a bastardization of Arabic and French, commonly spoken in Egypt and other 'arabian-african' nations, such as Morocco is. Ch!pz was already on the trail of Chico before we ever heard the name. But if Chico is around, making his move...what cruel fate has befallen our heros? Only time will tell. So avenge Ch!pz by spreading the word of the evilness of Chico...but also pray, harder than you've ever prayed before, that Rach-L, Peter, C!lla and David I MEAN KEV!N will rise again and bring down this monster. Afterall, who else can we rely on to keep us safe with Banaroo always off in space?