(no subject)
Dear Trudy,
I don't know how to tell you this, but I'm in love with your cat and our romance is over. I think I've realized it when you put cuffs on me in your car and I saw you hit on my father. I'm sure you're masochistic enough to understand your driving sucks. I'm returning our matching snoopy underwear and the pictures from Vegas to you, but I'll keep your photo with the moustache drawn on it as a memory. You should also know that I told my psychiatrist about the bruises and I will haunt you when I’m reincarnated as an Eskimo.
Best of luck on the sex change,
Cathy
YOUR TURN!!!
First choose a friend any friend then answer the questions and fill in
the blanks in the message at the bottom.
It's Funny!
1.
What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - I'm in love with your cat
White - Our affair is over
Red - I’m joining the army
Black -Our romance is over
Green- Our socks don't match
Grey - You're a leprechaun
Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy
Tie-Dye - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're mean
Other -I dislike your eyelashes
2.
Which is your birth month?
January - That night you picked your nose
February -When I quoted Forest Gump
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on peanut butter
May - When I threw up in your sock drawer
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When you smacked my ass
August - When I saw the purple monkey
September - Last year when you peed your pants
October - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
November - When your dog humped my leg
December - When I finally changed my underwear
3.
Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Lasagna- In your car
Pasta - Outside of your office
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you were eating Kraft Dinner
Chicken - In your closet
Kebab - With Jean Chrétien
Fish - In a clown suit
Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert
Pizza - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a street light
Annat- With George Bush and Stephen Harper
4.
What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Ignore
Red - Put whipped cream on
Black - Hit on
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - bit of
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the pants off of
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive over
5.
What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My boyfriend
White - My father
Grey - The Catholic Priest
Brown - The Montreal Canadian’s goalie
Purple - My corned beef hash
Red - My knee caps
Blue - My salt-beef bucket
Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana
Orange - My Blink 182 cd
Pink -Your ‘My Little Pony’ collection
None - My prized statue of Michael Jackson in the nude
Other - The elephant in the corner
6.
What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs- Man
OC-woman
One Tree Hill - Senile
Heroes- Frostbitten
7th heaven- High
Simpsons- Cowardly
The news - Scarred
American Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Open
Top Model - Dramatic
Annat -shamed
7.
Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful you are
Sad - How boring you are
Stoked - That I get turned on only by hot soldiers
Angry - That your smell makes me vomit
Depressed - That we’re related
Excited - That I may pee my pants
Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you
Worried - That your Ford sucks
Apathetic - That you need a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your earlobes
Cuddly - That Santa doesn't exsist
Silly - High
Other - That your driving sucks
8.
What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - The cut toenails
Yellow - Your love letters to me
Red - The pictures from Vegas
Black - Your pet rock
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - Your car
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your nose hair clippers
Grey - Our matching snoopy underwear
Purple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket
Pink - Our matching blue bras
Other - Your Hannah Montanna underwear
9.
The first letter of your first name?
A/B - The results from the blood test
C/D - Your photo with the moustache drawn on it
E/F - Your neighbour’s dog
G/H - The oil tank from your car
I/J - Your left ear
K/L - My virginity
M/N - Your glass eye
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - Your sucide note
Y/Z - Your credit cards
10.
The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises
C/D - Always will remember the pep talks
E/F -Never will forget that night
G/H - Hate your cooking
I/J - Mocked you behind your back constantly
K/L - Told my side of the story to the authorities about the moose poaching
M/N - Will tell the authorities that you did not steal that whale in the back yard
O/P - Was interviewed about the car you stole
Q/R - Always wanted to break your legs
S/T - Get sick when I think of your feet
U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart
W/X - Haven’t showered in a month
Y/Z - am better off without you
11.
What do you prefer to drink?
Wine- Our friendship is ruined
Soft drink - I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon
Soda - I will haunt you when I’m reincarnated as an Eskimo
Milk - The apartment building is on fire
Water - I'm scratching my butt as you read this
Cider- I have a passionate interest for mice
Juice - You ruined my attempts at another world war
Gatorade - You should get that embarrassing rash checked
Hot chocolate - Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird
Whiskey - I love Oprah Winfrey
Beer - Thanks for the Cocaine
Other - you should stop picking your nose
12.
To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand - With warm tingly sensations
Australia - Best of luck on the sex change
France - Love always
Spain - With tears of sadness
China - You make me sick
Germany - Please don’t hurt me
Japan - Go milk a cow
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
USA - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt - You should get that embarrassing rash checked
England - Go drown yourself
NOW ITS YOUR TURN!
Dear (friend),
I don't really know how to tell you this, but (1_) I think I realized it(2_), (3_)and I saw you (4_) (5_). I'm sure you're (6_) enough to understand (7_). I'm returning (8_) to you, but I'll keep (9_)as a memory. You should also know that I (10_)and (11_).
(12_),
(your name)