No More Tomorrow
There’s no answer though and I sigh. “I know, that’s no excuse but you can’t blame me, can you? All those years of being rejected, of being told I wasn’t good enough. You were the only one that ever believed in me.” I feel the warm rain on my face and I drop my chin to my chest, to keep it off my face. Not that it does much good, the drops slide down my cheeks and drip off my chin.
The silence is almost deafening and I just want to hear him say anything but he won’t. “Wish you’d say something.” I tell him softly but he can’t, not anymore. “I miss you.” Wiping away the salty rain falling down my face, I put a hand on the piece of granite in front of me.
“We knew this day would come, eventually, I just thought we could’ve found a way to get around it. I was wrong. I couldn’t fix this and I hate it.” My heart feels heavy in my chest and I have to swallow around the lump in my throat. “I’d trade places with you if I could.”
This time I don’t hold back. It’s not like there’s anyone here to see me, not anyone that matters. Kneeling down, I put a hand to the brown earth and watch as green grass covers the ugliness. “Love you Peter.” I whisper, standing up. In front of his name is the only green spot in this desolate area and the sobs rack my body. This green will never die, never fade and that’s the way it should be.
After awhile, I finally get myself under control again. “I can’t join you Peter but I’ll do the next best thing. Maybe in our next life, things will be better.” Looking out over the city, I take one last look, trying to remember all the good times we had together.
Taking a last breath, I port into the nothingness.