cuz i dont wana be..just a memory to you
well this is a random update.. cuz its something that happened a while ago.. but yah.. i was just thinking today about things and this memory came into my head.. its not the first time either, i think about this alot.. anyways.. last spring i had alot going on as did someone else.. so we spent alot of time together and helped eachother get through the hard times together.. it was nice to have someone to understand and relate with.. well this memory comes into my thoughts every time im feeling down and it always seems to make me smile to myself.. i guess its always somewhere in the back of my mind and its something i can hold on to.. well, i spent the night at this persons house and it was nice being around their family.. their mom made dinner and sat with me and talked to me like she was a friend.. their sister treated me like her own sister and did the cutest things for me.. their brother did everything to make sure i was comfortable, even made my bed for me and tucked me in before “bedtime”.. the whole family was just amazingly kind to me.. then there was that person.. i remember waiting up with their sister until they came home that night.. it was 9:36 (yah i remember the exact time, one of those random times that stick in your mind.. i think its cuz i kept checking the clock like every second).. we sat downstairs in the living room and watched t.v. together.. ever have one of those friends who you can sit and do absolutely nothing with and still have the best time? Thats how it was.. then it was getting late and i had to get up for school in the morning so their mom suggested that i go up to my room and get some sleep.. they had set up a room there for me with a lil bed and everything.. and the persons sister made me an adorable sign on the door that said “jessies room”.. it was sweet... since i had alot going on it was hard to get things off my mind and sleep.. so that person called my cell phone and wanted to know if i wanted them to come and talk in my room.. so they did and we talked for a while about things and it made me feel better just knowing they understood and had been thru similar things.. from there they thought it would be better to go in thier room because there was a tv and the bed was bigger.. so we did.. and we just layed there watchin tv and talking more.. then it got to be almost 2 and i decided i should probably get some sleep.. so they walked me to my room and sat there with me until i fell asleep... it sounds like “whats the big deal” but it was comforting knowing someone was there.. like watching over me... anyways.. that is a really vivid memory that i have and that i always think of when things are going bad.. because i think about how that person was there for me that night and it comforts me alot.. because i feel like “someone does care” and that is my proof.. because sometimes it gets that bad that i need to prove to myself that someone actually understands and has delt with some of the same things i am.. i dont think these things will ever fully go away, much like some things this person has delt with.. like a perminant scar or something.. but when they come back and start getting to me, i just think of that memory and that person and its ok.. for a moment atleast.. but yah.. really random entry, but i felt like writing it down cuz i like that memory alot..