(no subject)
Having a rollercoaster of a ride at the moment. Got a sad letter today
Hi
Firstly I don’t even know why I’m doing this but it has been on my mind all day every day.
I’m hoping you are living your life and having fun. What I’m going to say is from deep within me and so its better to write it so as to not blurt out shit in no specific order so bear with me.
Firstly I don’t even know why I’m doing this but it has been on my mind all day every day
I have come to realize that its so hard being mates with someone you love and really care for. I have tried to ignore how I feel, but it just eats me up more and more that it drives me insane. My life feels better now but there’s always something missing, which is you. I am not sure if this is the right thing for me to do, tell you all this but I am at make or break point right now whether I should keep going on this pursuit of looking for that spark between me and you or just give up and go away for good because I know it affects you as much as it affects me. Its cool that we been hanging or seeing each other once in a while but its been so hard too, I mean we sometimes forget that we are no longer together and its not healthy for the mind. How many times have you or I referred to each other as babe or reached for a hug or kiss only to realize that oh cant do that? In a perfect world we would be like ok, I don’t feel anything anymore so sweet but its not how it goes ay.
I have come to realize that its so hard being mates with someone you love and really care for. I have tried to ignore how I feel, but it just eats me up more and more that it drives me insane. My life feels better now but there’s always something missing, which is you
I am not sure if this is the right thing for me to do, tell you all this but I am at make or break point right now whether I should keep going on this pursuit of looking for that spark between me and you or just give up and go away for good because I know it affects you as much as it affects me. Its cool that we been hanging or seeing each other once in a while but its been so hard too, I mean we sometimes forget that we are no longer together and its not healthy for the mind.
How many times have you or I referred to each other as babe or reached for a hug or kiss only to realize that oh cant do that? In a perfect world we would be like ok, I don’t feel anything anymore so sweet but its not how it goes ay.
The end of us was fucked up and was gutting that it happened that way. It happened, lessons were learnt and we hurt the most that we had hurt each other. We both shared that pain and such but through it all I wanted to make things right so long as you felt the same way. There is no easy relationship Steph, its just people deciding to make it work bro.
I am putting this as my last stand, even though I could do this forever till you are willing to try again. I love you too much that I don’t want to keep stressing you out trying to be with you. You do know how relentless I am when it comes to you, asking you out wasn’t exactly easy but I kept at it. Right now the signs tell me no, the people around me tell me no, but taking risks to get what you want is the only sure way of knowing and getting results.
So I’m putting myself out there bro. And I want you to know that if its no then all good I am not going to be mad or anything, I’m just going to be gutted which is ok, it’s natural. I cant just switch off loving you because it’s a switch you cant switch off and try act like you are ok but I respect your choice and I will not bother you with this. I just don’t want to go on regretting and blaming myself that I didn’t try my best.
You once said to me that you know I will leave and always keep coming back to you. I guess you were right though I thought you were talking shit at the time. I guess I’ve told myself you are the one and whether I’ll be gone or not, if you ever have a change of heart I will be ready to come back even if I’m with someone at the time. I am dead serious on this. I’ll stop at this point, I don’t wanna bore you with this.
Thats all i had to give u today
Me:wow
i need to think about this a bit. I need you to know that right now I don't want to do that. There may come a time where we are right for eachother again but it's not now. I'm being 20 and loving every minute of it and dealing with the growing pains along the way.
Ex:ok kul
me:i need some time to think about what to say in response to this
If you can't see me for a while then that's all good
ex:u dnt have to give a response its all good\
me:I am really enjoying having you in my life and just taking it day at a time - sometimes it feels good to hang, some times it doesn't
but i don't want you to be hurting any more than you already are if this is fucking your shit up
Ex: K Steph all good
Thanks for everythng
me:i know you're hurting right now and I am so sorry for this pain becoming part of our lives
thank you for everything too
me:u dont have to say all this its kul, i get the point
me:dude its not about having to say anything its about what i want to say ok?
ex:ok, am jus sayn u dnt hav to apologise for nuthn etc, ill deal with tym u aint dne nuthn wrong
i do hope you fimd happiness and get someone who makes you happy just as i hope. me going away etc is my way of saving you from this and me trying to move on
me:you're not saving me. It's ok to need to save yourself
ex:yea k am savn myself from the hurt too. dont get this wrong, aint no anger or nuthn
but its best i go for good coz its sumin i dnt think i get over. So yeah thats what i had top say and goodbye my friend.
me:Peace love and happiness to you on your journey. I will miss you terribly. I don't believe in goodbye so I'll say see you later
ex:. i will miss you but this is best for both of us i guess
me:i respect your decision
ex:i'll try get Alex or whoever to sort out moving whatever i left ther
love u bro always
me:love you too. My hearts hurting really bad right now so I need to go.
ex: k goodbye
Owies. Soresore. Not much helped by my fucking flatmates smoking all my ciggies and leaving me with none.
I'm going to get a bottle of wine and go out. Let's get fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked uuuuppp!!! That will fix everything(nothing)
Hi
Firstly I don’t even know why I’m doing this but it has been on my mind all day every day.
I’m hoping you are living your life and having fun. What I’m going to say is from deep within me and so its better to write it so as to not blurt out shit in no specific order so bear with me.
Firstly I don’t even know why I’m doing this but it has been on my mind all day every day
I have come to realize that its so hard being mates with someone you love and really care for. I have tried to ignore how I feel, but it just eats me up more and more that it drives me insane. My life feels better now but there’s always something missing, which is you. I am not sure if this is the right thing for me to do, tell you all this but I am at make or break point right now whether I should keep going on this pursuit of looking for that spark between me and you or just give up and go away for good because I know it affects you as much as it affects me. Its cool that we been hanging or seeing each other once in a while but its been so hard too, I mean we sometimes forget that we are no longer together and its not healthy for the mind. How many times have you or I referred to each other as babe or reached for a hug or kiss only to realize that oh cant do that? In a perfect world we would be like ok, I don’t feel anything anymore so sweet but its not how it goes ay.
I have come to realize that its so hard being mates with someone you love and really care for. I have tried to ignore how I feel, but it just eats me up more and more that it drives me insane. My life feels better now but there’s always something missing, which is you
I am not sure if this is the right thing for me to do, tell you all this but I am at make or break point right now whether I should keep going on this pursuit of looking for that spark between me and you or just give up and go away for good because I know it affects you as much as it affects me. Its cool that we been hanging or seeing each other once in a while but its been so hard too, I mean we sometimes forget that we are no longer together and its not healthy for the mind.
How many times have you or I referred to each other as babe or reached for a hug or kiss only to realize that oh cant do that? In a perfect world we would be like ok, I don’t feel anything anymore so sweet but its not how it goes ay.
The end of us was fucked up and was gutting that it happened that way. It happened, lessons were learnt and we hurt the most that we had hurt each other. We both shared that pain and such but through it all I wanted to make things right so long as you felt the same way. There is no easy relationship Steph, its just people deciding to make it work bro.
I am putting this as my last stand, even though I could do this forever till you are willing to try again. I love you too much that I don’t want to keep stressing you out trying to be with you. You do know how relentless I am when it comes to you, asking you out wasn’t exactly easy but I kept at it. Right now the signs tell me no, the people around me tell me no, but taking risks to get what you want is the only sure way of knowing and getting results.
So I’m putting myself out there bro. And I want you to know that if its no then all good I am not going to be mad or anything, I’m just going to be gutted which is ok, it’s natural. I cant just switch off loving you because it’s a switch you cant switch off and try act like you are ok but I respect your choice and I will not bother you with this. I just don’t want to go on regretting and blaming myself that I didn’t try my best.
You once said to me that you know I will leave and always keep coming back to you. I guess you were right though I thought you were talking shit at the time. I guess I’ve told myself you are the one and whether I’ll be gone or not, if you ever have a change of heart I will be ready to come back even if I’m with someone at the time. I am dead serious on this. I’ll stop at this point, I don’t wanna bore you with this.
Thats all i had to give u today
Me:wow
i need to think about this a bit. I need you to know that right now I don't want to do that. There may come a time where we are right for eachother again but it's not now. I'm being 20 and loving every minute of it and dealing with the growing pains along the way.
Ex:ok kul
me:i need some time to think about what to say in response to this
If you can't see me for a while then that's all good
ex:u dnt have to give a response its all good\
me:I am really enjoying having you in my life and just taking it day at a time - sometimes it feels good to hang, some times it doesn't
but i don't want you to be hurting any more than you already are if this is fucking your shit up
Ex: K Steph all good
Thanks for everythng
me:i know you're hurting right now and I am so sorry for this pain becoming part of our lives
thank you for everything too
me:u dont have to say all this its kul, i get the point
me:dude its not about having to say anything its about what i want to say ok?
ex:ok, am jus sayn u dnt hav to apologise for nuthn etc, ill deal with tym u aint dne nuthn wrong
i do hope you fimd happiness and get someone who makes you happy just as i hope. me going away etc is my way of saving you from this and me trying to move on
me:you're not saving me. It's ok to need to save yourself
ex:yea k am savn myself from the hurt too. dont get this wrong, aint no anger or nuthn
but its best i go for good coz its sumin i dnt think i get over. So yeah thats what i had top say and goodbye my friend.
me:Peace love and happiness to you on your journey. I will miss you terribly. I don't believe in goodbye so I'll say see you later
ex:. i will miss you but this is best for both of us i guess
me:i respect your decision
ex:i'll try get Alex or whoever to sort out moving whatever i left ther
love u bro always
me:love you too. My hearts hurting really bad right now so I need to go.
ex: k goodbye
Owies. Soresore. Not much helped by my fucking flatmates smoking all my ciggies and leaving me with none.
I'm going to get a bottle of wine and go out. Let's get fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked uuuuppp!!! That will fix everything(nothing)