(no subject)
well just wanted to say that me and larry broke up.. this time it looks like for good.
our feelings have changed, we've changed, well i think mostly he's changed, but thats my side of things. he just wants to be with his friends now. and that he doesnt love me like he used to. and with that i agree, i also dont love him like before, things have changed. and i also wanted the break up, it was mutual... i just never realized it would be this hard...
its more hard for me to cope now, because im like sitting here crying my eyes out, and hes out having fun and drinking with his friends. i dont kno anyone in the city, cuz the whole year i was just with larry and didnt meet many new ppl.. MISTAKE that was! even worse i dont even have a place to stay now. i really hate the kibbutz, and i really dont want to go back there. its just so far and its the biggest hole in the country, with nothing to do at all. and i cant be in the room with my roommate. my mom said that its my only option now, and that i should try to get my own room, and try to see the good things about the place.
so in a week or so i guess ill be taking all my stuff with me up north. its just so hard and i feel even more alone now.
larry said he wants me to find a new boyfriend fast cuz then he'll be able to stop worrying about me that ill be alone so much. so he's fuckin pitying me. i dont kno if thats bad, or really bad. i hate that he feels that way, even tho it may be tru, i still hate it. now i feel like im bothering his life or something, that he has to make sure im ok. but thats probably gonna stop real soon, he'll be all up in his friends.
im so frustrated with the things he told me today and yesterday. that he just wants to be free for once, and do what he wants to do when he wants to do it. i feel so hurt. is he saying that all the times we were together and the things we did together were just favours for me, and he didnt want to do any of it?
i dont kno what to think about everything now
i just feel hurt and sad...
how am i going to get over this... or over him?
our feelings have changed, we've changed, well i think mostly he's changed, but thats my side of things. he just wants to be with his friends now. and that he doesnt love me like he used to. and with that i agree, i also dont love him like before, things have changed. and i also wanted the break up, it was mutual... i just never realized it would be this hard...
its more hard for me to cope now, because im like sitting here crying my eyes out, and hes out having fun and drinking with his friends. i dont kno anyone in the city, cuz the whole year i was just with larry and didnt meet many new ppl.. MISTAKE that was! even worse i dont even have a place to stay now. i really hate the kibbutz, and i really dont want to go back there. its just so far and its the biggest hole in the country, with nothing to do at all. and i cant be in the room with my roommate. my mom said that its my only option now, and that i should try to get my own room, and try to see the good things about the place.
so in a week or so i guess ill be taking all my stuff with me up north. its just so hard and i feel even more alone now.
larry said he wants me to find a new boyfriend fast cuz then he'll be able to stop worrying about me that ill be alone so much. so he's fuckin pitying me. i dont kno if thats bad, or really bad. i hate that he feels that way, even tho it may be tru, i still hate it. now i feel like im bothering his life or something, that he has to make sure im ok. but thats probably gonna stop real soon, he'll be all up in his friends.
im so frustrated with the things he told me today and yesterday. that he just wants to be free for once, and do what he wants to do when he wants to do it. i feel so hurt. is he saying that all the times we were together and the things we did together were just favours for me, and he didnt want to do any of it?
i dont kno what to think about everything now
i just feel hurt and sad...
how am i going to get over this... or over him?