(no subject)
Well today during senior lab i was re-reading the book of job from my bible instead of the stupid ass book that i bought at the schools store(which was a waste of money)
and it just hit me, suddenly i was sitting there contemplating to myself and just wondering if all this stuff really happened, i started thinking about all the stories that ive read in the bible and how unrealistic and hard they are to believe and wondered wat if some crazy man back in b.c. times deicided to make all this shit up, wat if GOD is just something that people believe in but its not real it just makes us all SEEM like we have a purpose in life, so i looked in the bak of my bible and found DOUBT and went through the bible and found verses that had to do with having faith in GOD and all that stuff, and i got scared cause i came upon a verse that pretty much stated that if you believe in GOD you have eternal life and if you dont you dont and there is no moving in and out of faith in god....and wat if dont believe?...wat if i need to be saved...like i dont reallly think i do, but im sitting here thinking about this and believers in Chirst would never be thinking thoughts like this, they dont question GODs power, so maybe i dont believe,....wat if we really dont go anywhere after we die, i wish i could ask someone who died where they are...its like i have to see it to believe it and thats not wat having faith is about right?...wats wrong with me! All these thoughts is wat i was thinking in senoir lab today and heather proceeded to tell me to calm down and that i do believe in god , so i went bak to reading job
but im just wondering, like people say the lord speaks to them and answers their prayers, sometimes i wonder if he listens to mine... i mean, they're are sooo many people praying to him, i mean i just ughh, wat if im a lost soul, I mean theyre are so many things about GOD's ways that confuse me like...
how come people that i know who dont go to church and dont believe in GOD are rich and have everything they want...but the bible says that if you believe in the lord everything that you want should be given unto you..(or am i getting it twisted)
how come people who believe in GOD get punished the most
how come the bible doesnt say anything about dinosars!!
who made GOD??? how was he the first soul or spirit or watever he is that made everything, the planets, the galaxy, the earth, people, animals, plants,...etc, was he just here and thats the end of the discussion, where did he come from?..i dont get it
how come people can be forgiven for killing a billion people if they repent but if they commit suicide because of the things that GOD was PUTTING them through they go to helL??....I dont know why im so confused...i dont like feeling like this...it makes me feel like im more vulnerable to evil or more subscepetible to recieving turmoil in my like because GOD isnt it in my presence cause i cant seem to let him come completly in my life...I love the lord, but i just need to know that all this stuff is real and its stupid because i know no one can really show me all they can do is guide me in the right direction and hope that i believe wat im told...
i never thought i would think such things
I feel bad
and it just hit me, suddenly i was sitting there contemplating to myself and just wondering if all this stuff really happened, i started thinking about all the stories that ive read in the bible and how unrealistic and hard they are to believe and wondered wat if some crazy man back in b.c. times deicided to make all this shit up, wat if GOD is just something that people believe in but its not real it just makes us all SEEM like we have a purpose in life, so i looked in the bak of my bible and found DOUBT and went through the bible and found verses that had to do with having faith in GOD and all that stuff, and i got scared cause i came upon a verse that pretty much stated that if you believe in GOD you have eternal life and if you dont you dont and there is no moving in and out of faith in god....and wat if dont believe?...wat if i need to be saved...like i dont reallly think i do, but im sitting here thinking about this and believers in Chirst would never be thinking thoughts like this, they dont question GODs power, so maybe i dont believe,....wat if we really dont go anywhere after we die, i wish i could ask someone who died where they are...its like i have to see it to believe it and thats not wat having faith is about right?...wats wrong with me! All these thoughts is wat i was thinking in senoir lab today and heather proceeded to tell me to calm down and that i do believe in god , so i went bak to reading job
but im just wondering, like people say the lord speaks to them and answers their prayers, sometimes i wonder if he listens to mine... i mean, they're are sooo many people praying to him, i mean i just ughh, wat if im a lost soul, I mean theyre are so many things about GOD's ways that confuse me like...
how come people that i know who dont go to church and dont believe in GOD are rich and have everything they want...but the bible says that if you believe in the lord everything that you want should be given unto you..(or am i getting it twisted)
how come people who believe in GOD get punished the most
how come the bible doesnt say anything about dinosars!!
who made GOD??? how was he the first soul or spirit or watever he is that made everything, the planets, the galaxy, the earth, people, animals, plants,...etc, was he just here and thats the end of the discussion, where did he come from?..i dont get it
how come people can be forgiven for killing a billion people if they repent but if they commit suicide because of the things that GOD was PUTTING them through they go to helL??....I dont know why im so confused...i dont like feeling like this...it makes me feel like im more vulnerable to evil or more subscepetible to recieving turmoil in my like because GOD isnt it in my presence cause i cant seem to let him come completly in my life...I love the lord, but i just need to know that all this stuff is real and its stupid because i know no one can really show me all they can do is guide me in the right direction and hope that i believe wat im told...
i never thought i would think such things
I feel bad