History will teach us every thing...
I have been thinking a lot about history lately...how important shared history is. I am one of those people who loves to reread my favorite books...the girl who can sit and watch my favorite shows front to back in reruns...I love to listen to songs that I know, that mean something to me and think about what I was doing the first time I heard the song. I like the comfort of what I know.
I am a history person. I love to read about history, but more important to me I like to listen to my friends' histories and share mine with them. And I miss that. Right now I am a book on the shelf that no one around me has read...maybe they've read a blurb on the jacket cover and are trying to decide if they really want to invest the time (I understand that)...but nobody here knows ME.
It is exhausting trying to be myself when no one shares history with me. Most of you who read this blog share history of one kind or another with me. There are
dreamsaint and Karin who have known me (and James) since BEFORE I was saved. There are several of you that were youth when I was just a baby Christian and in we have all grown together. There's Jill who was one of the only people with a front row ticket to my seminary experience...except Dannette who has gone through more life milestones with me than I can begin to count. Many of you were around for my wanting to have a child so bad and then for the exciting (HA!) nine months that was my pregnancy with Ethan. Even more of you were there for our wait for Annelise and the subsequent fallout in my life from adding another child. Some of you may not have been there for the actual events, but you have been in settings with me where I have shared my history with you...maybe in drips and drabs, maybe like a waterfall. Some of you have even lived with me for a time. And we all have shared history. All I have to say to many of you is "yeah, I talked with my mom today..." and you understand my state of mind. Or I can say "James is being so James..." and again you are right there with me. Many of you know what topics I am hugely passionate about (and what things you don't want to get me started on ;) You know where my heart is. I have ministered with you, sometimes to you, and have often been ministered to by you.
To tweak the metaphor a bit: we speak the same language (I think they call it geek). Many of you understand why I need to be home for BSG (and I won't have to tell you what that is). You don't look at me like I am a freak for having a son that walks around speaking in a fake British accent and yelling wingardium leviosa. We have road tripped together (and when I tell you that we HAD to stop in Winslow, Arizona at Standing on the Corner park you get it), you have challenged me to try new things (like NaNoWriMo...thanks
jayiin ) , we have sat through Firefly episodes drinking coffee in the 100 degree heat at Spiderhouse (ok, I was drinking coffee...
fairey_queen was drinking vanilla bean shakes ;) , we have Quested together, and we have gone to more sci-fi/fantasy movie premiers than I can count (On Screen!) Right now I feel like I am in a foreign country translating everything I do...
So here I am...stranger in a strange land...a book that no one has even heard of yet...the opening notes of a new song no one knows how to sing. I know that given time people will at least read parts of the book, maybe get familiar with the chorus of the song, have watched a few new episodes and may get backstory on the rest... There is still more history to be written...but I miss the commonality that lets me speak in short hand and be understood. If the post makes any kind of sense to you then you know beyond a doubt that we have shared history ;)
I am a history person. I love to read about history, but more important to me I like to listen to my friends' histories and share mine with them. And I miss that. Right now I am a book on the shelf that no one around me has read...maybe they've read a blurb on the jacket cover and are trying to decide if they really want to invest the time (I understand that)...but nobody here knows ME.
It is exhausting trying to be myself when no one shares history with me. Most of you who read this blog share history of one kind or another with me. There are
dreamsaint and Karin who have known me (and James) since BEFORE I was saved. There are several of you that were youth when I was just a baby Christian and in we have all grown together. There's Jill who was one of the only people with a front row ticket to my seminary experience...except Dannette who has gone through more life milestones with me than I can begin to count. Many of you were around for my wanting to have a child so bad and then for the exciting (HA!) nine months that was my pregnancy with Ethan. Even more of you were there for our wait for Annelise and the subsequent fallout in my life from adding another child. Some of you may not have been there for the actual events, but you have been in settings with me where I have shared my history with you...maybe in drips and drabs, maybe like a waterfall. Some of you have even lived with me for a time. And we all have shared history. All I have to say to many of you is "yeah, I talked with my mom today..." and you understand my state of mind. Or I can say "James is being so James..." and again you are right there with me. Many of you know what topics I am hugely passionate about (and what things you don't want to get me started on ;) You know where my heart is. I have ministered with you, sometimes to you, and have often been ministered to by you.
To tweak the metaphor a bit: we speak the same language (I think they call it geek). Many of you understand why I need to be home for BSG (and I won't have to tell you what that is). You don't look at me like I am a freak for having a son that walks around speaking in a fake British accent and yelling wingardium leviosa. We have road tripped together (and when I tell you that we HAD to stop in Winslow, Arizona at Standing on the Corner park you get it), you have challenged me to try new things (like NaNoWriMo...thanks
jayiin ) , we have sat through Firefly episodes drinking coffee in the 100 degree heat at Spiderhouse (ok, I was drinking coffee...
fairey_queen was drinking vanilla bean shakes ;) , we have Quested together, and we have gone to more sci-fi/fantasy movie premiers than I can count (On Screen!) Right now I feel like I am in a foreign country translating everything I do...
So here I am...stranger in a strange land...a book that no one has even heard of yet...the opening notes of a new song no one knows how to sing. I know that given time people will at least read parts of the book, maybe get familiar with the chorus of the song, have watched a few new episodes and may get backstory on the rest... There is still more history to be written...but I miss the commonality that lets me speak in short hand and be understood. If the post makes any kind of sense to you then you know beyond a doubt that we have shared history ;)