Can I fly with broken wings?
On June 22, 2004 my baby girl died. My birthday. Our birthday. I don't really feel like typing up all the medical reasons and bullshit. I have a bicornuate? uterus, and because I never had a pre-pregnancy check-up they never knew. Yes, I grew a healthy 7lb baby in my stomach, but she ran out of room...no one saw it coming. It's rare actually. She fought to live for 36 weeks, but God took her away. The umbilical cord strangled her.
The funeral was June 25, 2004. I never held her and I haven't even seen her yet. After my c-section while I was in the recovery room, they offered to let me hold her and I couldn't do it. If they had gave her to me I would have never gave her back.
I may have to have surgery in 6 months to try and correct this. I'll always be a high risk pregnancy. I'll always have to have c-sections. I'll never carry a full-term baby. I don't even know for sure if I can have babies. I don't know anything anymore.
It's hard to believe in anything anymore. I'll always have my baby girl, Taylor Ashe...I will. I'll always be her mother. The only way to be with her is death, I know this. God is taking care of her.
I want to advise everyone to get a pre-pregnancy check-up before you plan on having babies. I don't want anyone to have to feel this pain. You must realize you can have a perfect pregnancy and still lose your baby if something's wrong with your uterus.
I won't be on livejournal anymore. I'm moving out soon and I don't know what's ahead in life. If I can ever move on. No. Honestly, no. I won't. Good luck guys. Thankyou for being so caring and supportive.
Remember to appreciate your family and friends. Mommies, always love your babies and adore their life. It's so precious.
Goodbye.
-Christy
The funeral was June 25, 2004. I never held her and I haven't even seen her yet. After my c-section while I was in the recovery room, they offered to let me hold her and I couldn't do it. If they had gave her to me I would have never gave her back.
I may have to have surgery in 6 months to try and correct this. I'll always be a high risk pregnancy. I'll always have to have c-sections. I'll never carry a full-term baby. I don't even know for sure if I can have babies. I don't know anything anymore.
It's hard to believe in anything anymore. I'll always have my baby girl, Taylor Ashe...I will. I'll always be her mother. The only way to be with her is death, I know this. God is taking care of her.
I want to advise everyone to get a pre-pregnancy check-up before you plan on having babies. I don't want anyone to have to feel this pain. You must realize you can have a perfect pregnancy and still lose your baby if something's wrong with your uterus.
I won't be on livejournal anymore. I'm moving out soon and I don't know what's ahead in life. If I can ever move on. No. Honestly, no. I won't. Good luck guys. Thankyou for being so caring and supportive.
Remember to appreciate your family and friends. Mommies, always love your babies and adore their life. It's so precious.
Goodbye.
-Christy