(no subject)
aheratic6sic6 (11:23:40 PM): emily
aheratic6sic6 returned at 11:23:44 PM.
Csmcguineapig963 (11:23:47 PM): I dont want to talk
aheratic6sic6 (11:23:58 PM): r u serious?
Csmcguineapig963 (11:24:11 PM): about what
aheratic6sic6 (11:24:22 PM): about not wanting to date me anymore
Csmcguineapig963 (11:25:08 PM): Look I want to date you, I just need some time to myself, I realize I can not ask you to just drop everything and wait on my hand in foot, I wish you could but i cant
Csmcguineapig963 (11:25:32 PM): and I cant feel good about dating you right now because I know im not putting my all into it, im not treating you as well as I should be
aheratic6sic6 (11:26:23 PM): i know it sounds weak and hopeless when i say this, but it doesn't bather me as long as there is still hope of our relationship coming out of this
Csmcguineapig963 (11:26:44 PM): The hope of our relationship never went anywhere
Csmcguineapig963 (11:27:26 PM): I dont want to date anyone else, I have no intentions to. I know your who I am ment to end up with, I am completely confident in that fact, which is why I am even bringing this up in the first place
aheratic6sic6 (11:28:07 PM): em, i'm not good at taking breaks from relationships
aheratic6sic6 (11:28:26 PM): i know it sounds weird, but i'm just terrible with it
Csmcguineapig963 (11:28:32 PM): how so
aheratic6sic6 (11:28:35 PM): i never even imagined having to do it with u
aheratic6sic6 (11:28:44 PM): cause i never thought of having to
aheratic6sic6 (11:28:50 PM): :-(
Csmcguineapig963 (11:29:07 PM): there isnt anyways i can make this better
Csmcguineapig963 (11:29:09 PM): and I am so sorry
Csmcguineapig963 (11:29:25 PM): I talked about it today with a few close friends, and I thought about you all day
Csmcguineapig963 (11:29:44 PM): I realized that it isnt fair to you to be so fucked up because it leads to complete dependency on you
aheratic6sic6 (11:30:00 PM): hold on
aheratic6sic6 (11:30:10 PM): i don;t understand anything of what u r talking about
aheratic6sic6 (11:30:12 PM): um
aheratic6sic6 (11:30:13 PM): . . .
Csmcguineapig963 (11:30:17 PM): what do you mean
aheratic6sic6 (11:30:44 PM): i mean, how am i fucke up, or at least how do u think i'm fucked up, and who will become dependent on who?>
Csmcguineapig963 (11:31:16 PM): no no no, I am completely fucked up and I am going to become completly dependent on you
aheratic6sic6 (11:31:31 PM): how or why would u become dependent on me?
Csmcguineapig963 (11:31:44 PM): because I havent learned to depend on myself yet
Csmcguineapig963 (11:32:02 PM): I want to have a long lasting mature relationship with you, you understand that right?
aheratic6sic6 (11:32:13 PM): yeah
Csmcguineapig963 (11:32:28 PM): And I want to be with you in the end, you understand that too?
aheratic6sic6 (11:32:37 PM): yeah
Csmcguineapig963 (11:33:24 PM): i cant be mature until I can depend on myself, I cant give myself to you completly if I dont even know what I think
Csmcguineapig963 (11:34:03 PM): I want us to work out, god do I ever but Im at this awakward stage right now
aheratic6sic6 (11:34:41 PM): so what do u purpose we do?
Csmcguineapig963 (11:34:47 PM): its not right that I drag you thought this
aheratic6sic6 (11:35:06 PM): i'll decide whats right for me, but anyways
aheratic6sic6 (11:35:12 PM): what should we do?
Csmcguineapig963 (11:35:26 PM): what do you want to do?
aheratic6sic6 (11:36:10 PM): i want to keep dating u, i want u to move anywhere but under your roof, and i wanna marry u
aheratic6sic6 (11:36:38 PM): *under your parents roo
aheratic6sic6 (11:36:40 PM): *roof
Csmcguineapig963 (11:36:44 PM): I understood
aheratic6sic6 (11:36:45 PM): god i can't type
aheratic6sic6 (11:36:52 PM): k
Csmcguineapig963 (11:37:04 PM): are you okay? what are you thinking, do you understand whree im coming from?
aheratic6sic6 (11:37:22 PM): i really do thinik that this is a minor problem
Csmcguineapig963 (11:38:00 PM): if it was a minor problem it wouldnt be bothering me so much
aheratic6sic6 (11:38:01 PM): i actaully talked about this today with someone and figured out what i thought might have been a good soluition
Csmcguineapig963 (11:38:21 PM): which was
aheratic6sic6 (11:39:32 PM): if u could find someoen else to live with besides me, and have to pay some type of rent for htem, that would give u the sence of independence, somekind of piece of mind, and an outlet if u were worried about us
Csmcguineapig963 (11:40:12 PM): dont take this the wrong way, but thats kind of what im planning on
aheratic6sic6 (11:40:27 PM): i know, thats why i suggested it
aheratic6sic6 (11:41:02 PM): look, i hate instant messagner when talking about improtant things
aheratic6sic6 (11:41:10 PM): so either call or talk to me about it later
Csmcguineapig963 (11:41:14 PM): ive been coughing all day
Csmcguineapig963 (11:41:20 PM): please dont leave I knwo you hate it
aheratic6sic6 (11:41:22 PM): r u getting sick?
Csmcguineapig963 (11:41:25 PM): but my throat hurts
Csmcguineapig963 (11:41:41 PM): well i dont sleep or eat and im always stressed im not suprised thatim sick
aheratic6sic6 (11:42:30 PM): look, there is a lot i don't wanna explain that i have thought about, but i won't leave yet
aheratic6sic6 (11:42:32 PM): okay?
Csmcguineapig963 (11:43:11 PM): I just need to know, are you okay
aheratic6sic6 (11:43:22 PM): u keep asking me that
Csmcguineapig963 (11:43:41 PM): because you havent given me an answer
aheratic6sic6 (11:43:45 PM): and quite frankly, your the only one having a big problem, and its only cause your stressed and worried
aheratic6sic6 (11:44:05 PM): in my mind, things have already worked out, i'm fine
aheratic6sic6 (11:44:19 PM): we have to be able ti find a solution for what is going on
aheratic6sic6 (11:44:21 PM): we have to
Csmcguineapig963 (11:44:32 PM): I know
aheratic6sic6 (11:44:59 PM): i'm gonna be completely honest
aheratic6sic6 (11:46:30 PM): with so many threats to our relationship lately, with u finding probelms with stuff and lack of time to get to see one another, i'm slamost not even physically phased anymore when u say we need to talk, its not cause i care anyless, but it has happened soooo much, i have become almost immune to what should happen
aheratic6sic6 (11:46:42 PM): so i really don't know how i am
Csmcguineapig963 (11:47:02 PM): maybe this is good for both of us then
aheratic6sic6 (11:47:03 PM): when u said we ight have to take a break, my heartbeat hardly went up
aheratic6sic6 (11:47:16 PM): what do u mean this?
Csmcguineapig963 (11:47:25 PM): maybe a break is good for both of us
aheratic6sic6 (11:47:36 PM): what is this about a break
aheratic6sic6 (11:47:39 PM): umm
aheratic6sic6 (11:47:41 PM): hold on
Csmcguineapig963 (11:47:51 PM): Okay, dont call the house
aheratic6sic6 (11:47:58 PM): i won't
aheratic6sic6 (11:49:21 PM): i thought that we agreed that what was about to happen in the next couple months wouldn't split us up?
Csmcguineapig963 (11:49:38 PM): im not trying to split us up
aheratic6sic6 (11:50:04 PM): then what r u doing, cuase thats what it kinda sounds like
Csmcguineapig963 (11:50:16 PM): i dont know
Csmcguineapig963 (11:50:19 PM): Im sorry
aheratic6sic6 (11:50:31 PM): i have to TALK to u about this
aheratic6sic6 (11:50:45 PM): if we can't do it now, then i want to stop talking about it
Csmcguineapig963 (11:51:13 PM): fine
aheratic6sic6 (11:51:38 PM): cause i've had like 3 convos with u in like the past week and each one is getting more ambiguos and unclear
aheratic6sic6 (11:51:59 PM): i'm sick of not knowing the full extent of your thoughts
aheratic6sic6 (11:52:06 PM): or what u intent to do
aheratic6sic6 (11:52:23 PM): call me better yet, let me see you when u think i have an answer
aheratic6sic6 (11:52:34 PM): i love u emily
Csmcguineapig963 (11:52:41 PM): fine
aheratic6sic6 returned at 11:23:44 PM.
Csmcguineapig963 (11:23:47 PM): I dont want to talk
aheratic6sic6 (11:23:58 PM): r u serious?
Csmcguineapig963 (11:24:11 PM): about what
aheratic6sic6 (11:24:22 PM): about not wanting to date me anymore
Csmcguineapig963 (11:25:08 PM): Look I want to date you, I just need some time to myself, I realize I can not ask you to just drop everything and wait on my hand in foot, I wish you could but i cant
Csmcguineapig963 (11:25:32 PM): and I cant feel good about dating you right now because I know im not putting my all into it, im not treating you as well as I should be
aheratic6sic6 (11:26:23 PM): i know it sounds weak and hopeless when i say this, but it doesn't bather me as long as there is still hope of our relationship coming out of this
Csmcguineapig963 (11:26:44 PM): The hope of our relationship never went anywhere
Csmcguineapig963 (11:27:26 PM): I dont want to date anyone else, I have no intentions to. I know your who I am ment to end up with, I am completely confident in that fact, which is why I am even bringing this up in the first place
aheratic6sic6 (11:28:07 PM): em, i'm not good at taking breaks from relationships
aheratic6sic6 (11:28:26 PM): i know it sounds weird, but i'm just terrible with it
Csmcguineapig963 (11:28:32 PM): how so
aheratic6sic6 (11:28:35 PM): i never even imagined having to do it with u
aheratic6sic6 (11:28:44 PM): cause i never thought of having to
aheratic6sic6 (11:28:50 PM): :-(
Csmcguineapig963 (11:29:07 PM): there isnt anyways i can make this better
Csmcguineapig963 (11:29:09 PM): and I am so sorry
Csmcguineapig963 (11:29:25 PM): I talked about it today with a few close friends, and I thought about you all day
Csmcguineapig963 (11:29:44 PM): I realized that it isnt fair to you to be so fucked up because it leads to complete dependency on you
aheratic6sic6 (11:30:00 PM): hold on
aheratic6sic6 (11:30:10 PM): i don;t understand anything of what u r talking about
aheratic6sic6 (11:30:12 PM): um
aheratic6sic6 (11:30:13 PM): . . .
Csmcguineapig963 (11:30:17 PM): what do you mean
aheratic6sic6 (11:30:44 PM): i mean, how am i fucke up, or at least how do u think i'm fucked up, and who will become dependent on who?>
Csmcguineapig963 (11:31:16 PM): no no no, I am completely fucked up and I am going to become completly dependent on you
aheratic6sic6 (11:31:31 PM): how or why would u become dependent on me?
Csmcguineapig963 (11:31:44 PM): because I havent learned to depend on myself yet
Csmcguineapig963 (11:32:02 PM): I want to have a long lasting mature relationship with you, you understand that right?
aheratic6sic6 (11:32:13 PM): yeah
Csmcguineapig963 (11:32:28 PM): And I want to be with you in the end, you understand that too?
aheratic6sic6 (11:32:37 PM): yeah
Csmcguineapig963 (11:33:24 PM): i cant be mature until I can depend on myself, I cant give myself to you completly if I dont even know what I think
Csmcguineapig963 (11:34:03 PM): I want us to work out, god do I ever but Im at this awakward stage right now
aheratic6sic6 (11:34:41 PM): so what do u purpose we do?
Csmcguineapig963 (11:34:47 PM): its not right that I drag you thought this
aheratic6sic6 (11:35:06 PM): i'll decide whats right for me, but anyways
aheratic6sic6 (11:35:12 PM): what should we do?
Csmcguineapig963 (11:35:26 PM): what do you want to do?
aheratic6sic6 (11:36:10 PM): i want to keep dating u, i want u to move anywhere but under your roof, and i wanna marry u
aheratic6sic6 (11:36:38 PM): *under your parents roo
aheratic6sic6 (11:36:40 PM): *roof
Csmcguineapig963 (11:36:44 PM): I understood
aheratic6sic6 (11:36:45 PM): god i can't type
aheratic6sic6 (11:36:52 PM): k
Csmcguineapig963 (11:37:04 PM): are you okay? what are you thinking, do you understand whree im coming from?
aheratic6sic6 (11:37:22 PM): i really do thinik that this is a minor problem
Csmcguineapig963 (11:38:00 PM): if it was a minor problem it wouldnt be bothering me so much
aheratic6sic6 (11:38:01 PM): i actaully talked about this today with someone and figured out what i thought might have been a good soluition
Csmcguineapig963 (11:38:21 PM): which was
aheratic6sic6 (11:39:32 PM): if u could find someoen else to live with besides me, and have to pay some type of rent for htem, that would give u the sence of independence, somekind of piece of mind, and an outlet if u were worried about us
Csmcguineapig963 (11:40:12 PM): dont take this the wrong way, but thats kind of what im planning on
aheratic6sic6 (11:40:27 PM): i know, thats why i suggested it
aheratic6sic6 (11:41:02 PM): look, i hate instant messagner when talking about improtant things
aheratic6sic6 (11:41:10 PM): so either call or talk to me about it later
Csmcguineapig963 (11:41:14 PM): ive been coughing all day
Csmcguineapig963 (11:41:20 PM): please dont leave I knwo you hate it
aheratic6sic6 (11:41:22 PM): r u getting sick?
Csmcguineapig963 (11:41:25 PM): but my throat hurts
Csmcguineapig963 (11:41:41 PM): well i dont sleep or eat and im always stressed im not suprised thatim sick
aheratic6sic6 (11:42:30 PM): look, there is a lot i don't wanna explain that i have thought about, but i won't leave yet
aheratic6sic6 (11:42:32 PM): okay?
Csmcguineapig963 (11:43:11 PM): I just need to know, are you okay
aheratic6sic6 (11:43:22 PM): u keep asking me that
Csmcguineapig963 (11:43:41 PM): because you havent given me an answer
aheratic6sic6 (11:43:45 PM): and quite frankly, your the only one having a big problem, and its only cause your stressed and worried
aheratic6sic6 (11:44:05 PM): in my mind, things have already worked out, i'm fine
aheratic6sic6 (11:44:19 PM): we have to be able ti find a solution for what is going on
aheratic6sic6 (11:44:21 PM): we have to
Csmcguineapig963 (11:44:32 PM): I know
aheratic6sic6 (11:44:59 PM): i'm gonna be completely honest
aheratic6sic6 (11:46:30 PM): with so many threats to our relationship lately, with u finding probelms with stuff and lack of time to get to see one another, i'm slamost not even physically phased anymore when u say we need to talk, its not cause i care anyless, but it has happened soooo much, i have become almost immune to what should happen
aheratic6sic6 (11:46:42 PM): so i really don't know how i am
Csmcguineapig963 (11:47:02 PM): maybe this is good for both of us then
aheratic6sic6 (11:47:03 PM): when u said we ight have to take a break, my heartbeat hardly went up
aheratic6sic6 (11:47:16 PM): what do u mean this?
Csmcguineapig963 (11:47:25 PM): maybe a break is good for both of us
aheratic6sic6 (11:47:36 PM): what is this about a break
aheratic6sic6 (11:47:39 PM): umm
aheratic6sic6 (11:47:41 PM): hold on
Csmcguineapig963 (11:47:51 PM): Okay, dont call the house
aheratic6sic6 (11:47:58 PM): i won't
aheratic6sic6 (11:49:21 PM): i thought that we agreed that what was about to happen in the next couple months wouldn't split us up?
Csmcguineapig963 (11:49:38 PM): im not trying to split us up
aheratic6sic6 (11:50:04 PM): then what r u doing, cuase thats what it kinda sounds like
Csmcguineapig963 (11:50:16 PM): i dont know
Csmcguineapig963 (11:50:19 PM): Im sorry
aheratic6sic6 (11:50:31 PM): i have to TALK to u about this
aheratic6sic6 (11:50:45 PM): if we can't do it now, then i want to stop talking about it
Csmcguineapig963 (11:51:13 PM): fine
aheratic6sic6 (11:51:38 PM): cause i've had like 3 convos with u in like the past week and each one is getting more ambiguos and unclear
aheratic6sic6 (11:51:59 PM): i'm sick of not knowing the full extent of your thoughts
aheratic6sic6 (11:52:06 PM): or what u intent to do
aheratic6sic6 (11:52:23 PM): call me better yet, let me see you when u think i have an answer
aheratic6sic6 (11:52:34 PM): i love u emily
Csmcguineapig963 (11:52:41 PM): fine