I need a word for this. Where I get words for things.
We have been looking for a microwave with a mute button for a decade. Seems like a simple thing. But it is impossible to find. They are out there. It is often listed as a feature on ridiculously overpriced microwaves. We want a sort of basic model with a mute. I will be using this as a specific example of an abstract interaction for which there should be a word. So let us say that I go to a forum of some sort and ask simply:
Poster: Frank Lloyd Wrong
Date: 2016/11/01 06:00
Subject: Microwave with a Mute
I am looking for a microwave with a mute. I want to turn all the beeps off.
> Reply: Nebbie Nellie
> Date: 2016/11/01 06:15
> Subject: RE: Microwave with a Mute
>
> I like the beeps. They let me know that my popcorn is done! Hugz! ;) :)
> Reply: Joe Mangrel
> Date: 2016/11/01 06:22
> Subject: RE: Microwave with a Mute
>
> No. They don't make them. Because fires. What are you, a fucking idiot?
> Reply: Horton Hellivant
> Date: 2016/11/01 06:31
> Subject: RE: Microwave with a Mute
>
> Why would you want something like that?
So, you see... No help here. So, WHY ANSWER? It is mystifying to me. These first answers amount to "I don't know." I don't understand why someone would go all over the internet saying, "I don't know." But apparently some people do. I sometimes reply to these sorts of things. But mostly I have learned that there is absolutely no way to ask for help with anything (especially on the internet) because there are really only two possibilities. First, the answer is a google away. Second, the answer is difficult, in which case, no one will be able to help me anyway. There is no point in asking for help with anything. Nothing exists in that no man's land. But I persist:
HH: Why would you want something like that?
FLW: Well, as it happens, I work at night and I don't want to wake up my SO with microwave noises.
HH: You should get a job in the day.
FLW: I guess I could. I think it would be easier to get a microwave that doesn't beep.
HH: What's wrong with you? Why can't you get a job in the day?
FLW: Well, I really want a microwave that doesn't beep. Not a job in the day.
HH: There are good sleeping pills now. You should really be disciplined.
You see where this is heading. What is this compulsion that some people have. They seem to want to help, but they have no answers. So rather than admitting that, they are spouting off suggesting that I should start taking sleeping pills and who-knows-what-else rather than answering the question. What is this? What is this bizarre impulse?
Let's call it...
Eciwob
There's this subreddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/0x3642/new/
It's a program that posts a new, pronouncable pseudo-English word every fifteen seconds.
Poster: Frank Lloyd Wrong
Date: 2016/11/01 06:00
Subject: Microwave with a Mute
I am looking for a microwave with a mute. I want to turn all the beeps off.
> Reply: Nebbie Nellie
> Date: 2016/11/01 06:15
> Subject: RE: Microwave with a Mute
>
> I like the beeps. They let me know that my popcorn is done! Hugz! ;) :)
> Reply: Joe Mangrel
> Date: 2016/11/01 06:22
> Subject: RE: Microwave with a Mute
>
> No. They don't make them. Because fires. What are you, a fucking idiot?
> Reply: Horton Hellivant
> Date: 2016/11/01 06:31
> Subject: RE: Microwave with a Mute
>
> Why would you want something like that?
So, you see... No help here. So, WHY ANSWER? It is mystifying to me. These first answers amount to "I don't know." I don't understand why someone would go all over the internet saying, "I don't know." But apparently some people do. I sometimes reply to these sorts of things. But mostly I have learned that there is absolutely no way to ask for help with anything (especially on the internet) because there are really only two possibilities. First, the answer is a google away. Second, the answer is difficult, in which case, no one will be able to help me anyway. There is no point in asking for help with anything. Nothing exists in that no man's land. But I persist:
HH: Why would you want something like that?
FLW: Well, as it happens, I work at night and I don't want to wake up my SO with microwave noises.
HH: You should get a job in the day.
FLW: I guess I could. I think it would be easier to get a microwave that doesn't beep.
HH: What's wrong with you? Why can't you get a job in the day?
FLW: Well, I really want a microwave that doesn't beep. Not a job in the day.
HH: There are good sleeping pills now. You should really be disciplined.
You see where this is heading. What is this compulsion that some people have. They seem to want to help, but they have no answers. So rather than admitting that, they are spouting off suggesting that I should start taking sleeping pills and who-knows-what-else rather than answering the question. What is this? What is this bizarre impulse?
Let's call it...
Eciwob
There's this subreddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/0x3642/new/
It's a program that posts a new, pronouncable pseudo-English word every fifteen seconds.