Chasing happyness
So ok my like, in my eyes, is a total wreck. It started out around what I can remember to be a month ago when merranda went to Sadies. Now don't get me wrong i wanted her to go have fun. Just when she got there i guess she like almost forgot about me and wanted to have fun and ended up cheating on me(it was cheating in my eyes and i guess thats who it matters to most). I'm not going into details but i was pretty upset. More like hysterical... but anyway, after i poured my heart out and cried about it like the little girl i am, she basically told me that she didnt want to be tied down and that we should take a break. Well I begged her not to leave me because she was/is the only thing in my life that was right. I would say that it was about that time that I realized how worthless and pathetic I am... here I am the victim begging her the cheater to take me back. How ironic. About a month passes and we start arguing about silly things, i think, some were actual issues but other were just stupid. Also during the course of all this keep in mind how... well im not going to say but it was a major crisis in her life and I was there for her the entire time.
Now here is issue two... after a lot of arguing we decide that we cant be together and we need a break. However it got very complicated very quickly. I blame myself for a lot... but it def wasnt all me (not meaning to sound cocky or anything). During the end of this I wasnt the mose appriciative boyfriend but i really did care and i really did love her. Now i still do love her but once again its complicated. Ok anyway, we decided to take a break and the first day of a break she goes over(not important name)'s house and has a little too much fun =\. Technically its not cheating since we werent together but you dont just say you love a person and then go off and do that. Its not right and it hurts. Now Im torn between two decisions. Should i take her back or not? But wait! I dont know if I can take her back because of who I am... it would be so hard to look her in the face and just think about what happend. Now I do not even know if I can mentally handel it. Then I just feel like i flat out need her.. nicotene if you will...
What to do...
Now here is issue two... after a lot of arguing we decide that we cant be together and we need a break. However it got very complicated very quickly. I blame myself for a lot... but it def wasnt all me (not meaning to sound cocky or anything). During the end of this I wasnt the mose appriciative boyfriend but i really did care and i really did love her. Now i still do love her but once again its complicated. Ok anyway, we decided to take a break and the first day of a break she goes over(not important name)'s house and has a little too much fun =\. Technically its not cheating since we werent together but you dont just say you love a person and then go off and do that. Its not right and it hurts. Now Im torn between two decisions. Should i take her back or not? But wait! I dont know if I can take her back because of who I am... it would be so hard to look her in the face and just think about what happend. Now I do not even know if I can mentally handel it. Then I just feel like i flat out need her.. nicotene if you will...
What to do...