blah
I hate this feeling...
I need to get away...
I got my "announcements" (actually are invitations, just disguised as announcements) for graduation the other day, and 5 tickets for SNHU graduation that is being held at the VWA this year. I have to narrow my family down to 5 people to watch me graduate? Yah, right. What I figured was 1. Mom 2. Dad 3. Caren (because Dad doesn't go anywhere without her) 4. Gram Marsh 5. Jen. Simple right? Yah, right.
Jen told me that I should give them to her, mom, dad, grampa, and gram. If grampa can't come, then Grandma Dot, and if she can't come, invite Linsey. Leave Caren as a last choice. But I already KNOW that if I don't invite Caren, dad will refuse to come (I distinctly remember the mistake I made addressing my high school graduation announcement to just my dad, and he called me and told me he wasn't going to my graduation because I hadn't included Caren... for Christ's sake, it was just an ANNOUNCEMENT, it wasn't even the invitation! I already had a ticket for her!).
Heaven forbid that my graduation actually be about ME and not my family and their petty issues with each other!! HELLO! Need I jump up and down screaming in their faces to make them realize that this is MY accomplishment? NO! It would still be ALL ABOUT THEM. When I really think about it, my emotions about the whole thing make my throat close up and it becomes hard to breath with frustration and anger and hatred... yes, hatred. May my soul perish in Hell for this, but I hate my family, I hate their selfishness and petty grudges and how I'm expected always to compromise myself to make things easier for them...
Who is going to make it easier for me? Screw it all, I don't need anybody. I can do this alone. I'm going to tear up my graduation tickets now and go through this alone, because obviously my family doesn't care enough to put their problems aside for a measly 3 hours for me. I DON'T NEED YOU! I don't need anybody...
I need to get away...
I got my "announcements" (actually are invitations, just disguised as announcements) for graduation the other day, and 5 tickets for SNHU graduation that is being held at the VWA this year. I have to narrow my family down to 5 people to watch me graduate? Yah, right. What I figured was 1. Mom 2. Dad 3. Caren (because Dad doesn't go anywhere without her) 4. Gram Marsh 5. Jen. Simple right? Yah, right.
Jen told me that I should give them to her, mom, dad, grampa, and gram. If grampa can't come, then Grandma Dot, and if she can't come, invite Linsey. Leave Caren as a last choice. But I already KNOW that if I don't invite Caren, dad will refuse to come (I distinctly remember the mistake I made addressing my high school graduation announcement to just my dad, and he called me and told me he wasn't going to my graduation because I hadn't included Caren... for Christ's sake, it was just an ANNOUNCEMENT, it wasn't even the invitation! I already had a ticket for her!).
Heaven forbid that my graduation actually be about ME and not my family and their petty issues with each other!! HELLO! Need I jump up and down screaming in their faces to make them realize that this is MY accomplishment? NO! It would still be ALL ABOUT THEM. When I really think about it, my emotions about the whole thing make my throat close up and it becomes hard to breath with frustration and anger and hatred... yes, hatred. May my soul perish in Hell for this, but I hate my family, I hate their selfishness and petty grudges and how I'm expected always to compromise myself to make things easier for them...
Who is going to make it easier for me? Screw it all, I don't need anybody. I can do this alone. I'm going to tear up my graduation tickets now and go through this alone, because obviously my family doesn't care enough to put their problems aside for a measly 3 hours for me. I DON'T NEED YOU! I don't need anybody...