lose control
Current Mood: 
worried
Current Music: "In the Clouds" - Under the Influence of Giants
Sorry for the lack...and the lie last entry. Haven't gotten a note in a while. Besides, I had been beating my own skull numb getting ready for my recital. Oh yeah, for local people...it's next Thursday at 7:30 at night. Show up if you're awesome :)
Next two chapters of Barfight...very interesting ones. They kinda bring things into a little bit of perspective with Amanda, finding out her past, and we sort of find out what's going on with Marci. Feedback is appreciated :)
Part 15 - How the Rich Break Down
A couple nights later, Amanda was crying in the bed, hard. Another day at work, another worthless day. School was reconvening in 2 weeks and she was not ready. She had been working her ass off at Wal-mart, the most boring job in the world, restocking shelves in multiple departments, getting hours and hours of overtime, which her boss wasn’t the happiest person about, and yet she barely had any money to afford books for her classes. She had been earning minimum wage and had been trying to save money up for the fall semester, but she was still falling short. From the savings she was putting away for books, it immediately went to the landlord for the payments for the damage to the apartment, which left her seriously lacking in the schoolbook department. She was staring at the wall through her tears, fearing that she would have to live out her worst nightmare.
She had to. She hated it…but she had to.
“Taylor?” she peered into his room after brushing off her tears. He was once again shirtless from a long day at the Star and she didn’t want to bother him, especially the way that he confronted her a couple days ago.
“Yeah?” he asked softly, looking at her from inside his and Patrick’s room.
“I need to make a phone call…” she started.
“Feel free, it’s the community phone,” he commented.
“I just…I need some moral support. It’s an important phone call.”
“Oh,” he replied softly, looking back at her, his sweaty locks falling over his eyes. He felt bad for being so harsh and manipulative to her a couple nights ago and had been meaning to make it up to her. Maybe this was the way.
“I uh…I have to call my parents.”
“Your parents?” his eyebrow perked, “I never heard you mention your parents.”
“Currently not in communication with them, for good reason too, but this is an absolute emergency,” she commented, “Could you just…sit with me?”
“Yeah, sure, let me get a shirt on and I’ll come to your room, okay?”
Amanda walked back to her room silently, ringing her hands. Her parents were absolutely loaded since her father worked at the Whirpool plant as one of the head honchos, but she never liked anybody to know that. As a matter of fact, she had gone to college to escape that life that was predestined for her. She didn’t want to go to Duke; she wanted to go to a school in the middle of nowhere where nobody would already know her reputation and her father. Now she had to make that dreaded “I need money for school” call that she was absolutely loathing and have her dad rub it in her face. She needed Taylor, even if he wasn’t hers, next to her for support at least.
“Okay, I’m here,” he stepped in the doorway, barefoot in a pair of straight-leg jeans and a white wifebeater, his hair still sweaty, but wet and slicked back over the back of his head.
“Thanks,” she commented lightly, looking at him, quickly dialing the super-quick speed dial on her cell phone to her father’s cell phone. Hearing the ringing was unbearable, even though it was short.
“Anderson Bower speaking, how may I help you?”
“Daddy…it’s Amanda.”
“What do you want? I’m about to go into a meeting.”
“I uh…I need a favor.”
“You told me you didn’t need any favors when you stormed out of my house for that…redneck school.”
“Well I do now, if you’ll listen…I’ve been working my ass off for myself, but I’ve had to pay off a huge debt in the apartment. You see, there was a fire…and I have to help pay off the damages. I’ve got about half of it paid off so far, but I really need money for books and I have none left.”
“Sorry, Amanda, I can’t do that. I only do that for daughters.”
“You can’t be serious!” her voice was beginning to break up over the phone.
“Anderson…is that Amanda?”
“Yes, Brenda, it is,” Anderson covered the receiver quickly, uncovering it just as quickly, trying to ignore his wife, “Don’t call me again until you get that degree and want to get a job in my firm, alright?”
“Daddy…” but all she heard was the dial tone, “God damnit,” she clicked the End button on her cell phone.
“Your father…is Anderson Bower?”
“Don’t rub it in, okay?” Amanda looked at him harshly and Taylor jumped back.
“Nobody deserves that from their father,” Taylor looked at her with sympathy.
“Well don’t feel sorry for me,” she stared at him with cold, hard eyes, “I wanted to leave that shell of a life behind. As far as I know…that is not my real father.”
“I’m sorry,” Taylor offered his arms and Amanda quickly took them, hugging Taylor tightly, letting her tears fall on his shoulder, “Don’t worry…we’ll figure something out about your books. Somehow, okay? If your dad doesn’t do anything, I’ll help.”
“Taylor…” Amanda looked at him with a strained smile on her face, “I can’t thank you enough.”
Part 16 - How What Comes Around…Blows Up in His Face
“Promiscuous” was playing in the restaurant and Taylor was pouring jiggers in the shot glasses to fit the beat. He lined them up and then took one himself. He was, once again, treating a couple of businessmen to a nice line of shots. That’s what he did during Happy Hour and they all got rather tipsy before they left. He only gave out 3 drinks to those groups of businessmen before they had to leave and move their party elsewhere. By the time they got through 3 successfully, the Happy Hour was usually dying down and it was time to clean up from the chaos.
“London Bridge” was the next track to go on, and by this time, the men had left and Taylor was wiping off the bar top.
“Hey…TJ?” Ian was still acting really feeble as he grabbed a rag and started wiping off the other side of the bar top.
“What’s up, Man-Whore?” Taylor looked over at his fellow bartender, trying out his nickname for the hell of it. He hadn’t gotten the chance to really bond with Ian like the other bartenders and it didn’t help that the one time Ian asked for his help that he completely blew him off.
“There’s someone here to see you,” Ian pointed over to the side of the bar and Taylor saw some woman standing at the end of the bar.
“Oh okay…I guess this is time for me to take a break,” Taylor threw down his towel, “Do you mind finishing this up for me?”
“Nah, no problem, bro,” he slapped the back of his shoulder and Taylor made his way behind the bar to meet his guest. Taylor was finally in a high and excited to get back into school for the first year of graduate school. He was finally getting over the fact that the Star has completely transformed in front of his eyes with its gorgeous new windows and stuff. The premiere of Recipe for Success for their restaurant that night and he was ready for the success would follow. He was finally beginning to accept all the changes that were made in his life. He was finally ready to move on in his life. And then he saw who was in front of him and he almost grew an ulcer right there.
“Marci…what are you doing here?”
“Hello to you too, Taylor,” Marci was in her knitted cap that she was knitting at the beginning of the summer with her pair of jean shorts.
“I asked you a question.”
“I…I wanted to make amends,” her head was hanging down slightly with her light brown hair covering her face, covering her opalescent green eyes from his vision slightly.
“You…what?” he asked quietly and couldn’t even believe that she was even standing here.
“I made a mistake. I didn’t even know what I was doing with Maxine. I thought things would work out. I was upset that night, and I called her to turn to her…and things went too far. I don’t even know how it happened. I just want to forget it even occurred to be completely honest with you,” she then looked at Taylor, which completely set him into a daze. He felt an immense attraction to her.
“What exactly happened that night that got you so…upset?”
“My parents were killed by two robbers that broke into the house.”
“They were killed?” Taylor was completely taken-aback by this news flash.
“I’ve been trying to deal with everything for the past few months. I had been trying to call your cell phone for hours, but I got a hold of Maxine and she came over to try to help me deal with it.”
He suddenly shook his head and felt like his limbs were completely feeling-less and numb, “Why does that give you a reason to make out with her on our couch?”
“I don’t know…she took advantage of my vulnerability,” he ended up staring at her with a cold, yet blank, stare, “I’m serious, Taylor! Please, give me another chance. I need somebody to be with so I don’t go crazy about this.”
“Is that the only reason that you want me back?” Taylor crossed his arms, his larger biceps rubbing against his shirt.
“No…I miss you. I miss being with you.”
“Well, Maxine seems to be a rather suitable replacement for me. Besides…I’m trying to work things out with a girl that I dated a couple weeks ago. I don’t seem to have room to forgive you,” he still looked at her in the same way.
“Please, Taylor, you can’t just throw 2 ½ years away! I thought I meant something to you!” Marci was starting to tear up, “I really do care about you.”
“Yeah, enough to cheat on me with another WOMAN!” he was trying to control his voice, “Marci…I don’t have the strength to forgive you, alright? You threw 2 ½ years away much easier than I ever would be able to. You’re such a fucking hypocrite!” his grip on the floor felt like he wanted to just give in and sink into the floor, “When you really want to be with me and not just need the comfort, feel free to come back. I want a woman who’ll be with me and not with another woman, especially one that just needs a body next to her.”
“It’s not like that, though,” Marci let a couple tears fall down her cheek.
“Sorry, Marci, I really don’t mean to hurt you…but I’ve spent enough time trying to get you out of my head. Maybe it’s time to really think about the pain you’ve caused me,” Taylor turned back around and looked at the clock, “And what a coincidence…you wasted my entire break with promises of nothing. Just go back to Maxine and leave me alone for a while, until you’re genuine.”
And with that, he completely stormed off.
worried
Current Music: "In the Clouds" - Under the Influence of Giants
Sorry for the lack...and the lie last entry. Haven't gotten a note in a while. Besides, I had been beating my own skull numb getting ready for my recital. Oh yeah, for local people...it's next Thursday at 7:30 at night. Show up if you're awesome :)
Next two chapters of Barfight...very interesting ones. They kinda bring things into a little bit of perspective with Amanda, finding out her past, and we sort of find out what's going on with Marci. Feedback is appreciated :)
Part 15 - How the Rich Break Down
A couple nights later, Amanda was crying in the bed, hard. Another day at work, another worthless day. School was reconvening in 2 weeks and she was not ready. She had been working her ass off at Wal-mart, the most boring job in the world, restocking shelves in multiple departments, getting hours and hours of overtime, which her boss wasn’t the happiest person about, and yet she barely had any money to afford books for her classes. She had been earning minimum wage and had been trying to save money up for the fall semester, but she was still falling short. From the savings she was putting away for books, it immediately went to the landlord for the payments for the damage to the apartment, which left her seriously lacking in the schoolbook department. She was staring at the wall through her tears, fearing that she would have to live out her worst nightmare.
She had to. She hated it…but she had to.
“Taylor?” she peered into his room after brushing off her tears. He was once again shirtless from a long day at the Star and she didn’t want to bother him, especially the way that he confronted her a couple days ago.
“Yeah?” he asked softly, looking at her from inside his and Patrick’s room.
“I need to make a phone call…” she started.
“Feel free, it’s the community phone,” he commented.
“I just…I need some moral support. It’s an important phone call.”
“Oh,” he replied softly, looking back at her, his sweaty locks falling over his eyes. He felt bad for being so harsh and manipulative to her a couple nights ago and had been meaning to make it up to her. Maybe this was the way.
“I uh…I have to call my parents.”
“Your parents?” his eyebrow perked, “I never heard you mention your parents.”
“Currently not in communication with them, for good reason too, but this is an absolute emergency,” she commented, “Could you just…sit with me?”
“Yeah, sure, let me get a shirt on and I’ll come to your room, okay?”
Amanda walked back to her room silently, ringing her hands. Her parents were absolutely loaded since her father worked at the Whirpool plant as one of the head honchos, but she never liked anybody to know that. As a matter of fact, she had gone to college to escape that life that was predestined for her. She didn’t want to go to Duke; she wanted to go to a school in the middle of nowhere where nobody would already know her reputation and her father. Now she had to make that dreaded “I need money for school” call that she was absolutely loathing and have her dad rub it in her face. She needed Taylor, even if he wasn’t hers, next to her for support at least.
“Okay, I’m here,” he stepped in the doorway, barefoot in a pair of straight-leg jeans and a white wifebeater, his hair still sweaty, but wet and slicked back over the back of his head.
“Thanks,” she commented lightly, looking at him, quickly dialing the super-quick speed dial on her cell phone to her father’s cell phone. Hearing the ringing was unbearable, even though it was short.
“Anderson Bower speaking, how may I help you?”
“Daddy…it’s Amanda.”
“What do you want? I’m about to go into a meeting.”
“I uh…I need a favor.”
“You told me you didn’t need any favors when you stormed out of my house for that…redneck school.”
“Well I do now, if you’ll listen…I’ve been working my ass off for myself, but I’ve had to pay off a huge debt in the apartment. You see, there was a fire…and I have to help pay off the damages. I’ve got about half of it paid off so far, but I really need money for books and I have none left.”
“Sorry, Amanda, I can’t do that. I only do that for daughters.”
“You can’t be serious!” her voice was beginning to break up over the phone.
“Anderson…is that Amanda?”
“Yes, Brenda, it is,” Anderson covered the receiver quickly, uncovering it just as quickly, trying to ignore his wife, “Don’t call me again until you get that degree and want to get a job in my firm, alright?”
“Daddy…” but all she heard was the dial tone, “God damnit,” she clicked the End button on her cell phone.
“Your father…is Anderson Bower?”
“Don’t rub it in, okay?” Amanda looked at him harshly and Taylor jumped back.
“Nobody deserves that from their father,” Taylor looked at her with sympathy.
“Well don’t feel sorry for me,” she stared at him with cold, hard eyes, “I wanted to leave that shell of a life behind. As far as I know…that is not my real father.”
“I’m sorry,” Taylor offered his arms and Amanda quickly took them, hugging Taylor tightly, letting her tears fall on his shoulder, “Don’t worry…we’ll figure something out about your books. Somehow, okay? If your dad doesn’t do anything, I’ll help.”
“Taylor…” Amanda looked at him with a strained smile on her face, “I can’t thank you enough.”
Part 16 - How What Comes Around…Blows Up in His Face
“Promiscuous” was playing in the restaurant and Taylor was pouring jiggers in the shot glasses to fit the beat. He lined them up and then took one himself. He was, once again, treating a couple of businessmen to a nice line of shots. That’s what he did during Happy Hour and they all got rather tipsy before they left. He only gave out 3 drinks to those groups of businessmen before they had to leave and move their party elsewhere. By the time they got through 3 successfully, the Happy Hour was usually dying down and it was time to clean up from the chaos.
“London Bridge” was the next track to go on, and by this time, the men had left and Taylor was wiping off the bar top.
“Hey…TJ?” Ian was still acting really feeble as he grabbed a rag and started wiping off the other side of the bar top.
“What’s up, Man-Whore?” Taylor looked over at his fellow bartender, trying out his nickname for the hell of it. He hadn’t gotten the chance to really bond with Ian like the other bartenders and it didn’t help that the one time Ian asked for his help that he completely blew him off.
“There’s someone here to see you,” Ian pointed over to the side of the bar and Taylor saw some woman standing at the end of the bar.
“Oh okay…I guess this is time for me to take a break,” Taylor threw down his towel, “Do you mind finishing this up for me?”
“Nah, no problem, bro,” he slapped the back of his shoulder and Taylor made his way behind the bar to meet his guest. Taylor was finally in a high and excited to get back into school for the first year of graduate school. He was finally getting over the fact that the Star has completely transformed in front of his eyes with its gorgeous new windows and stuff. The premiere of Recipe for Success for their restaurant that night and he was ready for the success would follow. He was finally beginning to accept all the changes that were made in his life. He was finally ready to move on in his life. And then he saw who was in front of him and he almost grew an ulcer right there.
“Marci…what are you doing here?”
“Hello to you too, Taylor,” Marci was in her knitted cap that she was knitting at the beginning of the summer with her pair of jean shorts.
“I asked you a question.”
“I…I wanted to make amends,” her head was hanging down slightly with her light brown hair covering her face, covering her opalescent green eyes from his vision slightly.
“You…what?” he asked quietly and couldn’t even believe that she was even standing here.
“I made a mistake. I didn’t even know what I was doing with Maxine. I thought things would work out. I was upset that night, and I called her to turn to her…and things went too far. I don’t even know how it happened. I just want to forget it even occurred to be completely honest with you,” she then looked at Taylor, which completely set him into a daze. He felt an immense attraction to her.
“What exactly happened that night that got you so…upset?”
“My parents were killed by two robbers that broke into the house.”
“They were killed?” Taylor was completely taken-aback by this news flash.
“I’ve been trying to deal with everything for the past few months. I had been trying to call your cell phone for hours, but I got a hold of Maxine and she came over to try to help me deal with it.”
He suddenly shook his head and felt like his limbs were completely feeling-less and numb, “Why does that give you a reason to make out with her on our couch?”
“I don’t know…she took advantage of my vulnerability,” he ended up staring at her with a cold, yet blank, stare, “I’m serious, Taylor! Please, give me another chance. I need somebody to be with so I don’t go crazy about this.”
“Is that the only reason that you want me back?” Taylor crossed his arms, his larger biceps rubbing against his shirt.
“No…I miss you. I miss being with you.”
“Well, Maxine seems to be a rather suitable replacement for me. Besides…I’m trying to work things out with a girl that I dated a couple weeks ago. I don’t seem to have room to forgive you,” he still looked at her in the same way.
“Please, Taylor, you can’t just throw 2 ½ years away! I thought I meant something to you!” Marci was starting to tear up, “I really do care about you.”
“Yeah, enough to cheat on me with another WOMAN!” he was trying to control his voice, “Marci…I don’t have the strength to forgive you, alright? You threw 2 ½ years away much easier than I ever would be able to. You’re such a fucking hypocrite!” his grip on the floor felt like he wanted to just give in and sink into the floor, “When you really want to be with me and not just need the comfort, feel free to come back. I want a woman who’ll be with me and not with another woman, especially one that just needs a body next to her.”
“It’s not like that, though,” Marci let a couple tears fall down her cheek.
“Sorry, Marci, I really don’t mean to hurt you…but I’ve spent enough time trying to get you out of my head. Maybe it’s time to really think about the pain you’ve caused me,” Taylor turned back around and looked at the clock, “And what a coincidence…you wasted my entire break with promises of nothing. Just go back to Maxine and leave me alone for a while, until you’re genuine.”
And with that, he completely stormed off.