These Burdens
My soul is running tonight.
Restless, answerless; I can’t fight,
So I run. I run inside, run to You.
These burdens seem to chase through my heart in a wild tumble.
They weigh so heavily that I stumble and suddenly I’m confronted by a wild realty:
My failures, flaws, my frailty all pound until I’m broken and on my knees.
Still this eternal vision dances with searing steps through my consciousness
My heart gasps for air as I try to get up and run again,
Desperately aching to be part of Your plan.
The magnitude of falsehood and darkness and pain is overwhelming.
I stumble-it’s too heavy, and all I can do is crumble in exhaustion
As this holy discontent pounds against my heart.
I start to cry out; this can’t be all You want from me,
To show me a glimpse of Your vision, to break my heart with what breaks Yours
And then just leave me broken.
Why this weight mingled with inadequacy?
In blinding inward agony I collapse before You,
Watching my broken, burdened heart bleed.
Suddenly I’m struck with rushing truth:
This is not my crimson blood, it’s Yours.
Your heart is broken and it bleeds over mine.
It’s a staggering privilege that I am inadequate to bear.
I am only a lump of clay traced with cracks,
Driven desperately to You as I try to carry it.
Why not something I can handle?
Why this burden when only You can carry it?
Oh, Father, Abba, Daddy! You must carry it-You must!
Then Your sweet voice resonates as gently and fiercely as tumbling, cascading water,
Flooding over me as though Your deepest tears rush and fall with mine.
“At last, My dear one, you understand.”