(no subject)
Hi!
Gosh... such a mix of emotions running through me right now... listening to music that touches my soul in such a deep way makes all the thoughts/feelings FELT, all the more strongly... Feeling sad... feeling excited... feeling so much fucking love in my heart that Im afraid sometimes it very well may burst right out of my chest...
Even though my heart is tinged with a bit of sadness tonight, I cant help but almost, strangely... enjoy it. Its a beautiful sadness, if that makes any sense? If it doesnt, thats fine... this is just a bit of a verbal vomit here - havnt had one of these for a long time!
My little baby boy is turning 1 tomorrow...
I cant believe it! Where has the time gone? What an amazing year it has been... incredible... such an amzing journey - learning experience... in so many ways. Learning about myself, learning about Rob + I... becoming a family - learning love on a level that is completely inconceiveable until youve felt it - having those amazing out-of-the-blue heart-is-gonna-burst moments... they were everything I thought they would be - and oh so much MORE!
Watching Daddy have tickle fests with his little boy on the floor... watching my little man play and walk around and remember those moments before he arrived - wondering what he would be like, look like, smell like... realising i was now living these moments... and how delicious they ARE, he is...
I love the change in me... the selfishness that I was never really aware of before, gone. Once upon a time a comment like "Oh youve lost weight" would be the best thing someone could say to me - now the comment that leaves me beaming inside and out is "You are such an amazing Mother" NOTHING in the world beats that compliment. Well besides seeing it in my sons happy little eyes... just thinking about that little face gives me goosebumps!
What a little character he is... his little giggles and chuckles - the best sound on the planet! He is so clever.. learns things so fast and is such a determined little man. Hes a little charmer - just today my sister and I met for lunch at a 50's diner place... and when we were leaving we let him stretch his legs and have a bit of a run around the foyer area, which happened to look into another restaurant - he ran up to the window where a table of little old ladies were sitting - and pressed his face up against the glass and was giggling and carrying on - All the ladies were turned around in their seats cooing at him... hehe!
Hes grown SO fast... my little bundle all wrapped up in a bunny rug, fresh, new and newborn wrinkly... little bub rolling around on the blankie squealing... learning to sit and play with his toys... walking... running... clapping... *sigh* I miss my little newborn bundle - but man oh man do i feel excited and honoured to witness the years to come - to watch him "bloom + grow"
life is good :)
Gosh... such a mix of emotions running through me right now... listening to music that touches my soul in such a deep way makes all the thoughts/feelings FELT, all the more strongly... Feeling sad... feeling excited... feeling so much fucking love in my heart that Im afraid sometimes it very well may burst right out of my chest...
Even though my heart is tinged with a bit of sadness tonight, I cant help but almost, strangely... enjoy it. Its a beautiful sadness, if that makes any sense? If it doesnt, thats fine... this is just a bit of a verbal vomit here - havnt had one of these for a long time!
My little baby boy is turning 1 tomorrow...
I cant believe it! Where has the time gone? What an amazing year it has been... incredible... such an amzing journey - learning experience... in so many ways. Learning about myself, learning about Rob + I... becoming a family - learning love on a level that is completely inconceiveable until youve felt it - having those amazing out-of-the-blue heart-is-gonna-burst moments... they were everything I thought they would be - and oh so much MORE!
Watching Daddy have tickle fests with his little boy on the floor... watching my little man play and walk around and remember those moments before he arrived - wondering what he would be like, look like, smell like... realising i was now living these moments... and how delicious they ARE, he is...
I love the change in me... the selfishness that I was never really aware of before, gone. Once upon a time a comment like "Oh youve lost weight" would be the best thing someone could say to me - now the comment that leaves me beaming inside and out is "You are such an amazing Mother" NOTHING in the world beats that compliment. Well besides seeing it in my sons happy little eyes... just thinking about that little face gives me goosebumps!
What a little character he is... his little giggles and chuckles - the best sound on the planet! He is so clever.. learns things so fast and is such a determined little man. Hes a little charmer - just today my sister and I met for lunch at a 50's diner place... and when we were leaving we let him stretch his legs and have a bit of a run around the foyer area, which happened to look into another restaurant - he ran up to the window where a table of little old ladies were sitting - and pressed his face up against the glass and was giggling and carrying on - All the ladies were turned around in their seats cooing at him... hehe!
Hes grown SO fast... my little bundle all wrapped up in a bunny rug, fresh, new and newborn wrinkly... little bub rolling around on the blankie squealing... learning to sit and play with his toys... walking... running... clapping... *sigh* I miss my little newborn bundle - but man oh man do i feel excited and honoured to witness the years to come - to watch him "bloom + grow"
life is good :)