frustration!
It is so hard to practice enough per day when I split up my time like this, into half-hour chunks. What's even more upsetting is that it's difficult for me to get through each half hour at a time...I remember when I would work on more pieces and not just one or two things, it was fairly easy to blow through a whole hour, and even get up to 4 or 5 hours a day. Not anymore.
I'm still fighting my body. That's the problem; I don't know HOW to "enjoy it". All my life I've been telling myself that I have to do something, or else I essentially fail. And so I keep pushing and pushing because I don't know what else to do. I wish I were in some sort of meditation course, so I could figure out how to slow down and clear my mind of extraneous things, like the other flutists in the studio, the piano player across the hall, the good-looking guy in one of my classes, home, my music theory homework, my hair, food, how much more I need to practice...the list is literally infinite.
I swear to my breakfast cereal, I'm crying now because I can't relax, I can't focus, I am so frustrated with myself and my music that part of me wants to just walk away. But the other part of me keeps reminding myself that the reason I'm so frustrated is because I care so much, and that walking away would help nothing.
If you couldn't tell, practicing didn't go well today. Hopefully it's just a bad day. If I remember correctly, yesterday was pretty good. Maybe it was the day before.
Oh, and Dr. G will be gone until next Monday...perfect. That's EXACTLY what I need.
I'm still fighting my body. That's the problem; I don't know HOW to "enjoy it". All my life I've been telling myself that I have to do something, or else I essentially fail. And so I keep pushing and pushing because I don't know what else to do. I wish I were in some sort of meditation course, so I could figure out how to slow down and clear my mind of extraneous things, like the other flutists in the studio, the piano player across the hall, the good-looking guy in one of my classes, home, my music theory homework, my hair, food, how much more I need to practice...the list is literally infinite.
I swear to my breakfast cereal, I'm crying now because I can't relax, I can't focus, I am so frustrated with myself and my music that part of me wants to just walk away. But the other part of me keeps reminding myself that the reason I'm so frustrated is because I care so much, and that walking away would help nothing.
If you couldn't tell, practicing didn't go well today. Hopefully it's just a bad day. If I remember correctly, yesterday was pretty good. Maybe it was the day before.
Oh, and Dr. G will be gone until next Monday...perfect. That's EXACTLY what I need.