Part 5
Quirks, Quirks, Quirks…
44. I need extensive amounts of uninterrupted alone time every day - 4 hours is usually enough.
45. If I get seriously interrupted during these 4 hours, they are completely wasted.
46. If I’m typing feverishly, it means that my train of thought is frantically speeding. Don’t derail it if you want to keep your spleen.
47. I am a rather prolific writer. I haven’t been published on paper yet, but I have been published on McSweeneys.net, which is pretty impressive (if you ask me).
48. I love physical contact and physical affection, and this extends to both genders. I’m the only guy I know who kisses other guys on the cheek, and who prefers a hug to a handshake. I’m also the only guy I know who is comfortable with the idea of cuddling with another guy. I am very secure in my sexuality.
49. Just in case that last one made you nervous, on a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is as straight as a Republican plank and 10 is Liberace on fire in a pink necktie, I’m a 2. This means I can appreciate male beauty without being terrified that I’m a homo.
50. As free as I am with affection towards other guys, I still can’t seem to escape the “Dude” factor that plagues most men. (I’ll always say, “I love you, dude,” or “I love you, man,” never just, “I love you.”)
51. I’m not a materialist by any stretch. If a possession does not perform some important service, I see no reason to have it. I could be completely content without a car or a phone or running water.
52. An Internet connection, however, is an absolute must. I couldn’t live without one.
53. I think that in the very near future, we’ll see colonies on Mars and faster than light space travel. I hope I live to see it!
54. I studied magic and the occult intensely between the ages of 15 and 20.
55. From the ages of 9 to 17, I was utterly convinced that my profession as an adult would be a skilled cat-burglar or a high-tech thief. I know a scary amount about locks, safes and security systems, as well as how to disable an impressive array of alarms.
44. I need extensive amounts of uninterrupted alone time every day - 4 hours is usually enough.
45. If I get seriously interrupted during these 4 hours, they are completely wasted.
46. If I’m typing feverishly, it means that my train of thought is frantically speeding. Don’t derail it if you want to keep your spleen.
47. I am a rather prolific writer. I haven’t been published on paper yet, but I have been published on McSweeneys.net, which is pretty impressive (if you ask me).
48. I love physical contact and physical affection, and this extends to both genders. I’m the only guy I know who kisses other guys on the cheek, and who prefers a hug to a handshake. I’m also the only guy I know who is comfortable with the idea of cuddling with another guy. I am very secure in my sexuality.
49. Just in case that last one made you nervous, on a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is as straight as a Republican plank and 10 is Liberace on fire in a pink necktie, I’m a 2. This means I can appreciate male beauty without being terrified that I’m a homo.
50. As free as I am with affection towards other guys, I still can’t seem to escape the “Dude” factor that plagues most men. (I’ll always say, “I love you, dude,” or “I love you, man,” never just, “I love you.”)
51. I’m not a materialist by any stretch. If a possession does not perform some important service, I see no reason to have it. I could be completely content without a car or a phone or running water.
52. An Internet connection, however, is an absolute must. I couldn’t live without one.
53. I think that in the very near future, we’ll see colonies on Mars and faster than light space travel. I hope I live to see it!
54. I studied magic and the occult intensely between the ages of 15 and 20.
55. From the ages of 9 to 17, I was utterly convinced that my profession as an adult would be a skilled cat-burglar or a high-tech thief. I know a scary amount about locks, safes and security systems, as well as how to disable an impressive array of alarms.