(no subject)
uggg....things have been goin weird....lately ive been a little confusd....a question has been booglin around in my head and has partially attributd to my poor practicin schedule from christmas eve to the day before yesturday...and thats a lot for....i could barely play becuz i hadnt playd much in those few days....w/e soo the question is "wut if the musical career isnt for me, wut if im not fit for it or its not fit for me, wut if there is not chance of me bein sucessful in that field?".....i never once considerd that to b a possible reality and in my present "mind/state" i blame it on naivite. but i told myself that my high skool career is goin to reflect that of an aspirin professional, which i am...i think.....i think i dont even kno any more....i feel im most afraid of failure and poverty....well not poverty but just poorness....it sucks bein poor
ok....another thing thats confusin me is sumthin that mite sound disgustin and weird soo if u dont wanna read it then dont read it....i wont b offend'd.....my mom got me the complete season of NIp/Tuck and the second episode titld mandi/randi is among other things about matt, dr. mcnamaras 16/17 year old son (for those of u who dont kno), and his not likin a certain part of his body....after bein teasd by kids at skool who calld him anteater and afraid of wut his girlfriend mite think when they had sex....yes he was dissatified with his uncircumsizd penis....and he wantd it changd....how convenient your fathers a cosmetic surgeon....but his father refusd because he thought it was a vain surgury...as if boob jobs arent....w/e soo he resortd to self mutilation and he faintd....soo at the end his father was forcd to circumsize him simply to correct or erase the damage done....no im not goin to mutilate myself (for those of u who didnt kno i wasnt circumsizd) but this episode (which ive seen thrice before) rekindld my wantin to b circumsizd...and heres the problem....i dont have the balls to ask my parents for permission for one....i mean i just dont talk to my parents in that kinda way......i dont kno wut to do....w/e...life is weird sumtimes....mayb ill feel frisky and just popp the question up...
dunno.....comment for advice on both subjects thanx....ill ttul....sorry for those who found that last one disgustin wasnt intended that way
ok....another thing thats confusin me is sumthin that mite sound disgustin and weird soo if u dont wanna read it then dont read it....i wont b offend'd.....my mom got me the complete season of NIp/Tuck and the second episode titld mandi/randi is among other things about matt, dr. mcnamaras 16/17 year old son (for those of u who dont kno), and his not likin a certain part of his body....after bein teasd by kids at skool who calld him anteater and afraid of wut his girlfriend mite think when they had sex....yes he was dissatified with his uncircumsizd penis....and he wantd it changd....how convenient your fathers a cosmetic surgeon....but his father refusd because he thought it was a vain surgury...as if boob jobs arent....w/e soo he resortd to self mutilation and he faintd....soo at the end his father was forcd to circumsize him simply to correct or erase the damage done....no im not goin to mutilate myself (for those of u who didnt kno i wasnt circumsizd) but this episode (which ive seen thrice before) rekindld my wantin to b circumsizd...and heres the problem....i dont have the balls to ask my parents for permission for one....i mean i just dont talk to my parents in that kinda way......i dont kno wut to do....w/e...life is weird sumtimes....mayb ill feel frisky and just popp the question up...
dunno.....comment for advice on both subjects thanx....ill ttul....sorry for those who found that last one disgustin wasnt intended that way