Regarding peanut butter, jelly, and the requisite bread.
Every weekday morning, I have to make my 16-year-old brother's lunch for him. Normally, it's 7:30am and I don't have much interest in anything, but as I am making his sandwich, all I can think about is eating gobs and gobs of peanut butter & jelly. However, trying to put that much food into my body on that little sleep never equals good. So I usually just go back and snooze.
Until 11am, when I can make myself the glorious sandwich!
I've never tried it, but I bet I could eat at least six peanut butter & jelly sandwiches in a row. One would think that the bitterness of the peanut butter would be too contrasting to the sweetness of the jelly, but the seemingly strange combination is delicious. Personally, I prefer to have my ingredient ratios slightly favoring peanut butter, but too little jelly is simply unacceptable. I don't have a preference between strawberry or grape jelly, white bread or wheat bread, or crunchy or smooth.
BUT! No longer will I tolerate whole strawberry chunks in my jelly.
If I want strawberries on my sandwich, I'm gonna fucking put them there. Otherwise, keep them the hell off! Are there lumps of grapes in grape jelly? Whole berries in raspberry jam? Whyyyy oh why then, strawberry! You know, I really can't think of any circumstance where the berry chunks come in handy. I don't want strawberries on my toast. I don't want them in my oatmeal. I don't want them on my sandwiches, and I can't think of any other uses for jam. Usually when we have strawberry jelly, the end of the jar ends up being all the leftover strawberries I've had to dodge to have a decent sandwich.
I'd be a little more forgiving if I knew that the error of missing an entire fruit happened occasionally. But I tend to believe that fruit mashers are intentionally plaguing us hungry jelly fiends with the chunks. Then again, I suppose I can see the other side of the argument. Including strawberry bits reminds the consumer that yes, at one point, this was real food. For example, I enjoy intense amounts of pulp in my orange juice, whereas the overwhelming majority prefers it strained to oblivion. And I'm cool with that. Because they offer different types, with a big red "WITH PULP" on the top of the carton speaking directly to me. Maybe if you had a forewarned choice with jelly, with "SHITTY WHOLE BERRY" being an option if you so desire.
But, so it is. And if you eat 6lbs. of peanut butter, you'll ingest 16,150 calories, 1,445 grams of fat, and 297.5 grams of saturated fat, which may or may not be enough to kill you.
Maybe I won't eat those six sandwiches after all.
Until 11am, when I can make myself the glorious sandwich!
I've never tried it, but I bet I could eat at least six peanut butter & jelly sandwiches in a row. One would think that the bitterness of the peanut butter would be too contrasting to the sweetness of the jelly, but the seemingly strange combination is delicious. Personally, I prefer to have my ingredient ratios slightly favoring peanut butter, but too little jelly is simply unacceptable. I don't have a preference between strawberry or grape jelly, white bread or wheat bread, or crunchy or smooth.
BUT! No longer will I tolerate whole strawberry chunks in my jelly.
If I want strawberries on my sandwich, I'm gonna fucking put them there. Otherwise, keep them the hell off! Are there lumps of grapes in grape jelly? Whole berries in raspberry jam? Whyyyy oh why then, strawberry! You know, I really can't think of any circumstance where the berry chunks come in handy. I don't want strawberries on my toast. I don't want them in my oatmeal. I don't want them on my sandwiches, and I can't think of any other uses for jam. Usually when we have strawberry jelly, the end of the jar ends up being all the leftover strawberries I've had to dodge to have a decent sandwich.
I'd be a little more forgiving if I knew that the error of missing an entire fruit happened occasionally. But I tend to believe that fruit mashers are intentionally plaguing us hungry jelly fiends with the chunks. Then again, I suppose I can see the other side of the argument. Including strawberry bits reminds the consumer that yes, at one point, this was real food. For example, I enjoy intense amounts of pulp in my orange juice, whereas the overwhelming majority prefers it strained to oblivion. And I'm cool with that. Because they offer different types, with a big red "WITH PULP" on the top of the carton speaking directly to me. Maybe if you had a forewarned choice with jelly, with "SHITTY WHOLE BERRY" being an option if you so desire.
But, so it is. And if you eat 6lbs. of peanut butter, you'll ingest 16,150 calories, 1,445 grams of fat, and 297.5 grams of saturated fat, which may or may not be enough to kill you.
Maybe I won't eat those six sandwiches after all.