Relating to other people
I complain about other people not knowing how to relate to me following Julia's death. I think it is more that I do not know how to relate to them. Julia's death is a big part of my life right now and I feel anyone who is to be a friend to me needs to know about it.
I feel hurt right now because someone at work felt uncomfortable. She said that I could not take a hint, yet she never told me directly that she felt that way. I misunderstood her offering of hugs because she told me that she and the other person who works at the front desk will always offer them to other people. It is rumored that she hugs certain people every day, and let's just say that there are certain men who talk about enjoying her breasts squashed against their chest. *Shrug* She's straight, so that could be a factor (she's not my type). She told me intimate details about her life, which to me means someone wants to be my friend. I guess it's because the main thing we have in common is that she had an affair with another man so knew that my coworker and I were as well. She is marrying him next month by the way so I imagine that I make her vulnerable, then why tell me about it in the first place? If she wanted to give me advice, it would have been more clear to me that she was telling me for that reason and not because she was interested in friendship.
At least my boss is very good and did advise me to not bring it up right away. He also said to not tell people at work. It goes against my general operation because when someone asks, I answer their question honestly. I suppose that I am still young and have only recently learned to say, "it's personal." I get angry because other coworkers are jealous of me "taking vacations" when really I am heartbroken and lost on Fridays because I used to visit Julia in Portland. My boss wants me to find a way so that I do not have to take Fridays off anymore. There are still things that need to get done and it's nice for me to distract myself by doing it then.
I feel hurt right now because someone at work felt uncomfortable. She said that I could not take a hint, yet she never told me directly that she felt that way. I misunderstood her offering of hugs because she told me that she and the other person who works at the front desk will always offer them to other people. It is rumored that she hugs certain people every day, and let's just say that there are certain men who talk about enjoying her breasts squashed against their chest. *Shrug* She's straight, so that could be a factor (she's not my type). She told me intimate details about her life, which to me means someone wants to be my friend. I guess it's because the main thing we have in common is that she had an affair with another man so knew that my coworker and I were as well. She is marrying him next month by the way so I imagine that I make her vulnerable, then why tell me about it in the first place? If she wanted to give me advice, it would have been more clear to me that she was telling me for that reason and not because she was interested in friendship.
At least my boss is very good and did advise me to not bring it up right away. He also said to not tell people at work. It goes against my general operation because when someone asks, I answer their question honestly. I suppose that I am still young and have only recently learned to say, "it's personal." I get angry because other coworkers are jealous of me "taking vacations" when really I am heartbroken and lost on Fridays because I used to visit Julia in Portland. My boss wants me to find a way so that I do not have to take Fridays off anymore. There are still things that need to get done and it's nice for me to distract myself by doing it then.