Too all my readers and lovers...i'm writting again
Last night, I was lifted in a way I can't describe to the point where it opened my mind and soul again. The gate is no longer locked, I am no longer searching for that key, I am no longer worried, and wandering around for my creativity. I've decided to start writting again. Let my words out, let my mind speak, let everyone feel my heart. I can't even begin to tell you how the life experiences I've been dealing with have opened up eyes. I can feel butterflies again. I can cry for being happy. I'll be writting a book. Short stories of my life. And I will post little teases on my blog every once in a while to keep everyone interested. I want to hear feedback, I want to know the interests, dislikes and most of all, I want to feel connected to everyone again. Thank you everyone. For those who haven't read any of my work...these are all the past blogs I have written...enjoy.
I am nothing but a drug... written May 07, 2004
Your bitter breathe on my forsaken body. A law broken with one look.
You took my childhood in one glance and wrapped my soul with no regret.
Never did such a drug make you feel so high and vunerable.
Reborn you sought me out. Refreshed you bought me out.
Sprinkle me on your pathetic life. See if I make you feel desired.
Leave my red tears along your trail. Along your path to death.
I am the cause to all your problems. Sheltered life. Broken wall.
Shattered heart glued back with harmony. Missing one piece it fell.
Holding onto your grudge. I am nothing more than a drug.
Don't get caught looking twice.
My insides ruined from your obsession. I was nothing but a drug to you.
Don't look now, everyone is watching.
You're bleeding again. Shaking uncontrollably you threw me out.
Sprinkle me one more time on your table of illusion.
Smell my essence invading your soul. Lick me up. Pick me up.
Relaxed tongue you speak to the mirror.
Truth spilling into tears making a wave of regret.
You look down, I am withered away.
I'm nothing but a memory.
Your feelings fad and you inhale the real world.
You look at me. My beauty unfolded.
My fragile body broken on the floor to where you threw me.
You walked away screaming.
Scarred little child leave me there.
I am nothing more than a drug
Confessing Ignorance and Regret. written May 18th 2004
I have come to find I am a puppet with no strings attatched. I do and say what I please, and yet, after my actions, I regret and struggle pulling myself out of the grave I dug. I'm confused on my own thoughts, now of coarse, I understand that every puppet has it's own stage and barriers, but do you know such a puppet that when they look in the mirror, they see a completely different person then what is being shown? Of coarse you say...who hasnt met their own hyde..have you ever looked into that same mirror and try to become the person whom you seek? Of coarse, everyone trys to change and some sucessfuly do so....Now... have you ever looked into that mirror, that mirror that reflects what you think is your true beauty and show you who you truely are..that same mirror that has grown with you and in times helped you...smash it to peices until every last part in shattered on the floor? have you ever looked down and look at all mis shaped and edged and ruined peices and then see the true you? I have. My mirror has capured the moment i seek, shattered, ruined, not perfect, not beautiful, just me. All mirrors lie, the tell us what we want to hear and they show us what we want to see....I look down and I see five eyes instead of two, I see nine ears and bleeding wounds from my fists. I see me. I see what the world really sees...A puppet...but not just any puppet....
His rejected Puppet...
Wanting the Invisible ...written May 21st 2004
Urging myself to taste the lips of a stranger in my dreams
Invisible prince of immorality
I feel a twinge upon my very own heart
To witness such a tender and passionate soul
I can feel him on the inside,
Feel the past scars that still weep
Bittersweet blood making him beautiful
There he stands upon the cliff edge,
Ready to pitch himself into an ocean
Of futures and love and of life
And only to learn that he is perfect
A model upon the inside
Without the glam and glitter of the public eyes
And only then will he realize
My dreams are made of him.
Fight an army to gain such passion
Fight the world of doubt i would
For an invisible prince of immoratily
This Lonely peasant wished she could
Have him drunk with her laughter
and have his vision blurred through out the night
never did he feel such inspiration
never did his eyes see such a sight.
But waking up smelling such morning dew
and seeing a peasant by his side
what prince would ever stay with such a creature
knowing it would distroy all his pride.
My Infatuation...Written Feb 6th 2005
What does one do when they have fallen off the cliff of infatuation, you ask? Their mind is swept to shore by the waves of denial and before their senses return to their finger tips, the heart is lost. Sunken at the bottom of rusted memories and broken thoughts. Blue and green diamonds dancing closer to each and every breathe the heart has left. Gasping for air the heart accepts the fact it is never leaving this dark enchanted space. Accepting and appreciating the winds of change it has in store for all eternity. Gems and crystals of the ocean keep the heart lifted and what was once lost is now all found and understood. Scissors and razors from the shore scratch this palace and everything crumbles. A journey through a strange new world the heart flies to where it longs to be. Red intoxicating sand of lust craves new trophies of the sea. It thrives what it is missing. It desires dreams and most of all goals.
I am nothing but a drug... written May 07, 2004
Your bitter breathe on my forsaken body. A law broken with one look.
You took my childhood in one glance and wrapped my soul with no regret.
Never did such a drug make you feel so high and vunerable.
Reborn you sought me out. Refreshed you bought me out.
Sprinkle me on your pathetic life. See if I make you feel desired.
Leave my red tears along your trail. Along your path to death.
I am the cause to all your problems. Sheltered life. Broken wall.
Shattered heart glued back with harmony. Missing one piece it fell.
Holding onto your grudge. I am nothing more than a drug.
Don't get caught looking twice.
My insides ruined from your obsession. I was nothing but a drug to you.
Don't look now, everyone is watching.
You're bleeding again. Shaking uncontrollably you threw me out.
Sprinkle me one more time on your table of illusion.
Smell my essence invading your soul. Lick me up. Pick me up.
Relaxed tongue you speak to the mirror.
Truth spilling into tears making a wave of regret.
You look down, I am withered away.
I'm nothing but a memory.
Your feelings fad and you inhale the real world.
You look at me. My beauty unfolded.
My fragile body broken on the floor to where you threw me.
You walked away screaming.
Scarred little child leave me there.
I am nothing more than a drug
Confessing Ignorance and Regret. written May 18th 2004
I have come to find I am a puppet with no strings attatched. I do and say what I please, and yet, after my actions, I regret and struggle pulling myself out of the grave I dug. I'm confused on my own thoughts, now of coarse, I understand that every puppet has it's own stage and barriers, but do you know such a puppet that when they look in the mirror, they see a completely different person then what is being shown? Of coarse you say...who hasnt met their own hyde..have you ever looked into that same mirror and try to become the person whom you seek? Of coarse, everyone trys to change and some sucessfuly do so....Now... have you ever looked into that mirror, that mirror that reflects what you think is your true beauty and show you who you truely are..that same mirror that has grown with you and in times helped you...smash it to peices until every last part in shattered on the floor? have you ever looked down and look at all mis shaped and edged and ruined peices and then see the true you? I have. My mirror has capured the moment i seek, shattered, ruined, not perfect, not beautiful, just me. All mirrors lie, the tell us what we want to hear and they show us what we want to see....I look down and I see five eyes instead of two, I see nine ears and bleeding wounds from my fists. I see me. I see what the world really sees...A puppet...but not just any puppet....
His rejected Puppet...
Wanting the Invisible ...written May 21st 2004
Urging myself to taste the lips of a stranger in my dreams
Invisible prince of immorality
I feel a twinge upon my very own heart
To witness such a tender and passionate soul
I can feel him on the inside,
Feel the past scars that still weep
Bittersweet blood making him beautiful
There he stands upon the cliff edge,
Ready to pitch himself into an ocean
Of futures and love and of life
And only to learn that he is perfect
A model upon the inside
Without the glam and glitter of the public eyes
And only then will he realize
My dreams are made of him.
Fight an army to gain such passion
Fight the world of doubt i would
For an invisible prince of immoratily
This Lonely peasant wished she could
Have him drunk with her laughter
and have his vision blurred through out the night
never did he feel such inspiration
never did his eyes see such a sight.
But waking up smelling such morning dew
and seeing a peasant by his side
what prince would ever stay with such a creature
knowing it would distroy all his pride.
My Infatuation...Written Feb 6th 2005
What does one do when they have fallen off the cliff of infatuation, you ask? Their mind is swept to shore by the waves of denial and before their senses return to their finger tips, the heart is lost. Sunken at the bottom of rusted memories and broken thoughts. Blue and green diamonds dancing closer to each and every breathe the heart has left. Gasping for air the heart accepts the fact it is never leaving this dark enchanted space. Accepting and appreciating the winds of change it has in store for all eternity. Gems and crystals of the ocean keep the heart lifted and what was once lost is now all found and understood. Scissors and razors from the shore scratch this palace and everything crumbles. A journey through a strange new world the heart flies to where it longs to be. Red intoxicating sand of lust craves new trophies of the sea. It thrives what it is missing. It desires dreams and most of all goals.