wow i haven't updated in uhh forever
well until today i haven't had any time whatsoever
im never home i come back late and too tired to update this so ive neglected my live journal....sorry :(
well things didn't exactly turned out how i thought they would
but then again...i did have a feeling something was gonna turn out badly...and i guess it did
me and beny are no longer together and i think its for the best
we're definatly not right for each other and i noticed that during the first two days i spent with him
so no happy ending in that department
we got into a big fight but we've made up now and im happy we can be "friends"
i dont know if you can call that true friendship though
because he still wants us to be together and i DO NOT want to be together...it would never work
it seems to me that he needs another mommy...he wanted me to like take care of him and shit and he was being a little sissy which completely pisses me off......im not supposed to be the man in the relationship (or in any relationship) and he isnt mature enough i dunno......he pissed me off though sometimes
whatever its done but he cant seem to get that yet
he said he tried to forget about me but he doesnt want to he thinks that we still have a chance together even though we dont
he talked to me one day and said he has three sentences to tell me and thats it and he said:
1. he loves me
2. hell never leave me
3. well the third one isnt valid anymore he thought he was gonna leave somewhere and the third sentence was goodbye just in case he really did leave which he didnt
i see him everyday
today was an exception because i stayed home
i did completely and absolutely nothing
i slept till 3pm then i took a shower around 6 and i painted my nails but im not done with that yet
in other news...
i got my ear pierced.....on my right ear the cartilge its about in the middle...a little star :) and it cost like uhh 3bucks so it was a good deal
but it hurt a lot the first day
im thinking about getting another piercing but im not sure yet...ill decide later
this one guy i know got piss drunk yesterday and started hitting on me and telling me to kiss him and shit......but my other friend saved me from him....i really like my other friend...maybe too much which isnt good
theres no fucking way im getting myself into another relationship......i hate it
but theres something about him....hes beautiful too......he has green eyes, my favorite...and it makes me happy when i see him
ill take pics karola ( i hope i will) so youll see
i have 11 year old boys stalking me again this summer its terrible
they come to my house to pick me up and i think im gonna beat them up if they dont stop
i think they came today too but i didnt open the door, i didnt even wanna see who it was......today was a day wasted
but i guess i needed it, just to take a break from all the chaos...it gets really crazy here sometimes.......not to mention lonely :(
i want a hug......a big one....one that lasts a long time, one that you want to stay in forever, i havent had one of those in a while
i think im gonna go crazy pretty soon
i NEED my karola, shes like a drug that gets me high (high in a very good way) hah what a great simile hehe
i wish she was here though everything would be so much better, shed keep me sane
i love her way too much
and care about her way too much
but i dont care
shes the only person thats there for me
and itll stay that way forever
im sure of that
because ill never let her go
ill never hurt her
ill never stop loving her
and ill never stop caring
ill always be there for her
ill always try to make her laugh when shes sad
and ill always stand up for her
because shes done that and much more for me
more than i ever asked for and i thank her for that
wow this is long
a little too long?
i think so
i just had a lot of time on my hands today so i did something productive, if you could call this productive, which i think you could
well bye
ill update later
more often than i did before probably
im never home i come back late and too tired to update this so ive neglected my live journal....sorry :(
well things didn't exactly turned out how i thought they would
but then again...i did have a feeling something was gonna turn out badly...and i guess it did
me and beny are no longer together and i think its for the best
we're definatly not right for each other and i noticed that during the first two days i spent with him
so no happy ending in that department
we got into a big fight but we've made up now and im happy we can be "friends"
i dont know if you can call that true friendship though
because he still wants us to be together and i DO NOT want to be together...it would never work
it seems to me that he needs another mommy...he wanted me to like take care of him and shit and he was being a little sissy which completely pisses me off......im not supposed to be the man in the relationship (or in any relationship) and he isnt mature enough i dunno......he pissed me off though sometimes
whatever its done but he cant seem to get that yet
he said he tried to forget about me but he doesnt want to he thinks that we still have a chance together even though we dont
he talked to me one day and said he has three sentences to tell me and thats it and he said:
1. he loves me
2. hell never leave me
3. well the third one isnt valid anymore he thought he was gonna leave somewhere and the third sentence was goodbye just in case he really did leave which he didnt
i see him everyday
today was an exception because i stayed home
i did completely and absolutely nothing
i slept till 3pm then i took a shower around 6 and i painted my nails but im not done with that yet
in other news...
i got my ear pierced.....on my right ear the cartilge its about in the middle...a little star :) and it cost like uhh 3bucks so it was a good deal
but it hurt a lot the first day
im thinking about getting another piercing but im not sure yet...ill decide later
this one guy i know got piss drunk yesterday and started hitting on me and telling me to kiss him and shit......but my other friend saved me from him....i really like my other friend...maybe too much which isnt good
theres no fucking way im getting myself into another relationship......i hate it
but theres something about him....hes beautiful too......he has green eyes, my favorite...and it makes me happy when i see him
ill take pics karola ( i hope i will) so youll see
i have 11 year old boys stalking me again this summer its terrible
they come to my house to pick me up and i think im gonna beat them up if they dont stop
i think they came today too but i didnt open the door, i didnt even wanna see who it was......today was a day wasted
but i guess i needed it, just to take a break from all the chaos...it gets really crazy here sometimes.......not to mention lonely :(
i want a hug......a big one....one that lasts a long time, one that you want to stay in forever, i havent had one of those in a while
i think im gonna go crazy pretty soon
i NEED my karola, shes like a drug that gets me high (high in a very good way) hah what a great simile hehe
i wish she was here though everything would be so much better, shed keep me sane
i love her way too much
and care about her way too much
but i dont care
shes the only person thats there for me
and itll stay that way forever
im sure of that
because ill never let her go
ill never hurt her
ill never stop loving her
and ill never stop caring
ill always be there for her
ill always try to make her laugh when shes sad
and ill always stand up for her
because shes done that and much more for me
more than i ever asked for and i thank her for that
wow this is long
a little too long?
i think so
i just had a lot of time on my hands today so i did something productive, if you could call this productive, which i think you could
well bye
ill update later
more often than i did before probably