I need a break.
I feel like I'm letting people down. Particularly myself and Mr. Burns. I'm just not good enough. I haven't written an exceptional essay in months, when they used to all be rather good, at least in other people's eyes which is really what counts since my perspective of myself is skrewy. I just don't feel good about myself at all lately. I mean I don't often feel genuinely good about myself, but there have been times when a good feeling creeps in. The last week has not been one of those times. At all. I haven't hung out with mal in a long time and I really miss her. She's caught up in more important things right and I understand that, but I still can miss hanging out with her and travis and ellen and andy.
I also miss drama. A lot. I really liked having organized activity in my life that I couldn't skip out on. I really liked having the opportunity to be responsible, and actually was. Productivity feels good, as does laughing your ass off, as I often do around my drama friends. And I often find myself on the verge of tears when I think about how I won't have them there next year. And how i'll hardly ever see them now.
On the other hand I love being able to drive. I'm free. in the physical way. psychologically I've yet to be liberated.
I also miss drama. A lot. I really liked having organized activity in my life that I couldn't skip out on. I really liked having the opportunity to be responsible, and actually was. Productivity feels good, as does laughing your ass off, as I often do around my drama friends. And I often find myself on the verge of tears when I think about how I won't have them there next year. And how i'll hardly ever see them now.
On the other hand I love being able to drive. I'm free. in the physical way. psychologically I've yet to be liberated.