JUMP THEN FALL CHAPTER 4
SO MANY THINGS ARE CHANGING IN LEIGHANNA HANSON'S LIFE.
CAN SHE MAKE IT THROUGH THESE ROUGH PATCHES AND COME
OUT BETTER THAN SHE WAS BEFORE?
"Leighanna Hanson?" a male nurse called out. "Do you want me to carry you or are you feeling well enough to stand?" her father asked, shifting his arm. "I can stand" she replied and accecpted her mothers outstreched hand.
"I'm Garrett, I'll be taking your vitals okay?" Leah nodded as he hooked her up to a heart moniter and checked her blood pressure. "So, what are you here for today?" he asked, clipboard in hand "A reccomendation letter for an A.P. course" Leah thought sarcastically "Well, I was at the mall and I began to feel very sick. My heart was pounding, my breathing was erratic, my head was spinning, I felt like everything was closing in on me, like I was dying." Leah ended "She was also vomiting blood" Diana added.
"Okay, I'm gonna take some blood and run a few tests. Dr. Carter will be in soon" Leah nodded and extended her left arm "You'll only feel a little pinch" he said, as he jabbed her arm with a fairly large needle, she had to cross her ankles to keep from kicking him. He taped Leah's arm and walked off. "OW!" she exclaimed, holding the tape "I've had rips that hurt less than that" she said, looking at her parents.
About ten minutes later, Dr. Carter came in, he was at least seven feet tall, rather lean and looked alot like Mac. "Ew" she thought, as he walked closer to her. "Hello Leah, I'm Dr. Carter, I heard you weren't feeling well earlier, how do you feel now?" he asked, tapping his chart. "I don't feel as lightheaded, my breathing has calmed, and my heart is trying to get back to it's normal pace." She responded curtley "How did you get this job, and why are you talking to me like I'm three?" she thought, wringing her hands.
"Well, from the looks of your symptoms, you had a Panic Attack." "Excuse me?" Diana said, looking at him. "A Panic Attack is a sudden feeling of acute and disabling anxiety. It can happen anywhere and at any time. Some have said they feel like they're having a heart attack or are dying. It's treatable and I'll give you more information about it. Your primary doctor is in house and will be here shortly to discuss it" Dr. Carter ended with a head nod, "Any qustions?" the three of them looked at him, comepletely stunned. "Oookay" he nodded and left the room.
"What the hell did he just say?" Walker asked, agitated. "She had a panic attack. Leah, did you realize how much pressure you put on yourself?" Diana asked, closing her eyes. "GODDAMMIT DIANA. HE JUST SAID SHE WAS FUCKING MENTAL. SHE'S TURNING INTO HER MOTHER. ALL OUR HARD WORK AND SACRIFICES FOR HER HAVE BEEN FOR NOTHING. SHE'S GONNA END UP LIKE MAGGIE, DEAD IN A GUTTER WITH A NEEDLE IN HER ARM. I TOLD YOU THAT TAKING HER IN WAS A BAD IDEA." Walker shouted, hitting the wall.
Leah quickly turned her attention to a machine that began beeping loudly. "Walker, it was your idea to keep her. You and Sally both told me that leaving her in foster care or giving her back to Maggie would result in her dying withing five days." Diana said, sadly.
Just then Dr. Davison, her primary, came into the room and rushed to her side "Leah, are you okay? Take a deep breath for me." He said, rubbing her back. Leah inhaled and exhaled deeply, hearing the machine slowly return to a less frightening pace. Placing a hand on her chest, she could still feel it racing. "Sir, what's wrong with me?" she asked quietly, her parents still arguing. "Could you both tone it down or take it outside?" Dr. Davison snapped. They quieted.
"Well Leah, you had something called a panic attack. I'm sure Dr. Carter explained it to you. Have you ever had these symptoms before? At school? With friends? At gymnastics? Or at home?" he asked, concern in his eyes. She pondered and replied "I usually want to get away when I have too many people around me or when Daddy raises his voice. Also, I've been real frustrated lately. I keep wringing my hands and crying alot. Is there anything I can do to fix that?" Leah asked, tossing a side glance at her parents.
"Well, how would you feel about taking medication? I can prescribe you a pill called Ativan, it's for anxiety and it may help with the feelings. Would you like to try it?" He asked, looking from her to her parents. "I don't think" Walker started "Yes, please" Leah said, cutting him off, furrowing her brows at him. "Don't you fucking" Walker spat "Walker, just stop" Diana sobbed "No daughter of mine is gonna take crazy pills." Walker screamed at his wife "Daddy, please listen to him" Leah reasoned, tugging on his hand. "You, shut the fuck up! Get your shit and let's get the fuck out of here, you don't need that" he yelled, grabbing her arm roughly.
"Sir, I'm going to report this to Child Services immeadiately." Dr. Davison responded, heading to the door. "Go ahead, you've got no fucking proof. See Leah, you always have to cause shit. Why didn't you die when you were younger?" he yelled, pushing her out the door and down the hall.
Leah broke into a sprint, dodging employees and patients trying to get to their respective area. "I don't even know him anymore. What the hell do they mean by that? Who's Maggie?" Leah thought as she got outside. "Just wait 'till we get home Dorothy Leighanna Beatrice. I'm taking your gym equipment and am going to give you the biggest ass whipping of your life, you'll wish you were never born, you worthless piece of shit" Walker shouted across the parking lot. "I already do" Leah thought as she felt tears slide down her cheeks.
"Both of you, please stop. Walker, they can take her away from us. Is that what you want?" Diana asked as she got into the car and closed the door "I really don't care what they do, she'll finally be somebody elses problem. We won't have to deal with her and her stupid theatrics. I've had enough of her always fighting and causing unnecessary tension, aren't you? She throws fits if she doesn't get her way. I don't know how my dad puts up with this bitch!" Walker ended, speeding home "Maybe because he knows she's not blood" Diana said, sniffling. The rest of the car ride was silent, each one of them brooding.
When they got home, Leah raced into the house and stood in front of her siblings and finally boiled over "Are you both fucking Bipolar? One minute you love me the next minute you want me dead? MAKE UP YOUR GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING MIND" she spat, taking a swing at Walker, her fist connecting with his jaw. They both stood in the middle of the living room facing eachother. The blank expression on her father's face made her shiver, she fucked up and he very well may kill her. She turned to her mother, who was being comforted by Jessie "What? I'm not blood, remember? Ya know what, you should've just given me away like you probably planned. I quit, I'm done, that's it, goodbye." She sobbed as she stormed upstairs and slammed her room door.
She cried until her whole body ached. She screamed until her chest hurt. She wrung her hands on her shirt, her shorts, her hair. "Get me the fuck out of here" she yelled, putting her already bloody fist through her bathroom mirror. She grabbed her family portrait and busted the glass with the pole of her Colorguard flag, ripping through the part of her father holding her on his lap. "Diana, she needs to go, now" Walker said, sitting down next to his wife. "She obviously needs something Walker. You brought this on by constantly being on her ass about every single thing" Diana said, clenching her chest. "Mom!" Jessie shouted, watching her mother hit the floor.
A half hour later, there was a knock on her door "Here we go, goodbye world. I'll be tumbling for you in heaven...or hell" she thought as she got up. Opening the door, she saw her grandparents Daniel and Beatrice "Nana, Papa! What are ya'll doing here?" she asked stepping aside to let them in "Leighanna, didn't you hear the commotion downstairs..." Bea's voice trailed off as she surveyed her grandaughter's room. Leah gave her a confused look "Nana, can you finish your sentence?" she asked, silently kicking herself. Daniel gave her a stern look "Your mother was taken to St. Josephs Medical Center about fifteen minutes ago, she collasped. It might have been her heart." He said watching her expression change from annoyance to fear.
"Your father told us that you and him were quarreling in front of her. Anyway, you need to come with us to the hospital. Please change and grab some things, we may be there a while." Bea said, cupping Leah's chin with her hand and gazing into the eyes of this disaster of a child. Leah nodded and tiptoed over broken glass to her closet, removing her CD player and a pack of CD's, Tay's copy of To Kill A Mockingbird, and her memorable quotes notebook and stuffed them into her school backpack. She grabbed a pair of coverup shorts and her favorite jammie shirt, she put them in as well. "I can change in the car" she said, with downcast eyes.
"What were you both fighting about?" Daniel asked as he buckled her in "My doctor wanted to give me something called Ativan, I guess I had a panic attack at the mall today. It was the scariest thing ever. I explained to him how I was feeling and Daddy said I was just being overdramatic and I may have cut him off and hit him. Nana, Papa, who's Maggie?" she asked, wiping her eyes. They exchanged glances in the rearview mirror "Um, she was a friend of your mother's." Bea finally answered "Do you think Mama's okay?" Leah asked, sensing hesitation in her grandmothers voice. "I really hope so" Daniel answered, squeezing his wifes knee. "Don't do this to me. Please don't do this to me. I need her." Leah prayed as she changed her clothes in the backseat.
They pulled into the hospital parking lot and made their way to the E.R. waiting room, finding her siblings, she sat down and waited for something to happen. Nobody looked at her. "Where's Daddy?" she asked Ike who sat in the empty chair next to her. "Dad's in the room with Mom. Doctor said it doesn't look good." He ended, glancing at his watch. "I honestly feel like I don't know you or Dad anymore" Tay said, kneeling beside her "Do either of you know someone by the name Maggie?" she asked, tucking her legs beneath her. They both shook their heads.
"Damn. Damn. Damn." she thought, feeling doom creep into her. The door leading into the rooms opened, Leah froze, she knew that familiar scream. "FUCK NO. YOU CANNOT DO THAT." She shouted, rushing towards the door. "Leah, get back here" Daniel said, picking her up. "Papa, I need Mama. He can't take her, nobody can take her. I'm not ready. I'm supposed to go before her, that's how it's to be planned" she panicked, tears pouring down her cheeks. "Leah, that wasn't Daddy. He'll come out and give us an update, now go sit down." He said, hugging her tight.
Leah grabbed her backpack and took the book out, "Good choice" Ike said, rubbing her back. She gave a half smile and began reading. "Ikey, what time is it?" she asked, lifting her head "It's 5:00, you've been reading for almost two hours." He answered, helping her up. "I need the Hanson family to the front, please" some nurse called out. "Ikey, I'm scared. I don't wanna know" Leah said, pulling back "Whatever happens, we all need to stick together" Isaac said, sadly.
"I'm Dr. Evans. Please, right this way" this dark haired man with soft brown eyes and a massive bald spot said, ushering them into a small room "Well, Doc. How is my wife?" Walker asked, faint hope in his voice. Leah stood near the door, her tummy tightening, her hands tightly wrapped around her top, ready to run. "Well Mr. Hanson, This is never easy to tell a family but, she had a Myocardial Infarction. Unfortunatly she did not make it" Dr, Evans ended, watching Walker fall to his knees. Leah felt her whole body grow numb as she turned the knob and felt her wobbly legs break into the second sprint of the day.