I've not been well lately...
The dreams became more urbanely weird and involved Mrs.Grove growing like a gigantic giant in a huge yellow Mr.Rogers sweater and pulling anatomical diagrams from a canvas-sized purse modelled after miniature coin purses. She also had a black female assistant with an even larger hugeass coin purse. What does it all mean?
At my first ballet class I discovered that ballet is surprisingly tedious in that it took the class an hour to learn to do a simple warmup using about seven poses. Lance says that it gets worse when they bring on the strange modern dance poses. He and I devised a plan to bring in a clarinet tuner to distract the fifth and sixth hour teachers at random moments, for the tuner is so small that it can fit into his groin pockets and produce an insatiably annoying keen from within hiding.
The big S said that everyone in the AP 12 class has it incredibly easy to be where they are. I became angry at first, then pitiful...then after writing it out and suffering some tear-squeezing, I put it all away. She shouldn't be held responsible for labeling everyone as such...she doesn't know about my family's hardships, being unskilled laborers, immigrants that had narry enough to afford a first Christmas tree and spoke no English at all, our family members dying away in a country thousands of miles away where we can't afford to visit them again. Then she proceeded to lead us in a discussion of trips to Disney resorts. I could only wish I had had the chance to go but otherwise had to sit silently and personally revive the memories of an unluxurious childhood.
Today I had a better day when I stopped focusing less on the future and more on socializing. Pictionary is very, very fun. Having a less apathetic partner in Japanese to cooperate with was much better than before.
What else can I say? The negligible amout of sunlight has enriched the brain with melatonin that makes me collapse asleep when I get home from school after barely accomplishing anything at all. Being a sleepy sloth when there's so many better things to do makes a bit sad and kicks in the seasonal affectation. I need to move to someplace sunny some time in my life where I can be cheery, energetic and unaffected by the weight of the cold, and the stifling social atmosphere of the senior class that's dragging me back into the gutter slowly, calculatingly...let's hope never, ever completely. My Mom's surliness isn't helping anymore than mine.
At my first ballet class I discovered that ballet is surprisingly tedious in that it took the class an hour to learn to do a simple warmup using about seven poses. Lance says that it gets worse when they bring on the strange modern dance poses. He and I devised a plan to bring in a clarinet tuner to distract the fifth and sixth hour teachers at random moments, for the tuner is so small that it can fit into his groin pockets and produce an insatiably annoying keen from within hiding.
The big S said that everyone in the AP 12 class has it incredibly easy to be where they are. I became angry at first, then pitiful...then after writing it out and suffering some tear-squeezing, I put it all away. She shouldn't be held responsible for labeling everyone as such...she doesn't know about my family's hardships, being unskilled laborers, immigrants that had narry enough to afford a first Christmas tree and spoke no English at all, our family members dying away in a country thousands of miles away where we can't afford to visit them again. Then she proceeded to lead us in a discussion of trips to Disney resorts. I could only wish I had had the chance to go but otherwise had to sit silently and personally revive the memories of an unluxurious childhood.
Today I had a better day when I stopped focusing less on the future and more on socializing. Pictionary is very, very fun. Having a less apathetic partner in Japanese to cooperate with was much better than before.
What else can I say? The negligible amout of sunlight has enriched the brain with melatonin that makes me collapse asleep when I get home from school after barely accomplishing anything at all. Being a sleepy sloth when there's so many better things to do makes a bit sad and kicks in the seasonal affectation. I need to move to someplace sunny some time in my life where I can be cheery, energetic and unaffected by the weight of the cold, and the stifling social atmosphere of the senior class that's dragging me back into the gutter slowly, calculatingly...let's hope never, ever completely. My Mom's surliness isn't helping anymore than mine.