Reaching a place
Hung out w Noel tonight in the city. Could have gone back w her, but I'm almost out of gas. And the sometimes awkward silences... Her talking about a potential hookup and realizing it is uncomfortable to hear... I seriously, seriously am at a place where I need to let go. Her hair wasn't quite as intoxicating as I remembered it. It was somewhat nauseating in my car. Her sobriety lent itself to some awkwardness. What to say next? Should I?
When we grabbed a drink with Neil at UBar, I saw a heavyset girl and her thin gf cross the street. I was jealous. And I realized I need that. I need that stability in my life. Not blowing a stranger, or breaking a sweet straight man's heart stringing him along. Not chasing one older straight woman after another and swearing my love and loyalty like a melancholy Romantic poet, never to be reciprocated.
In the past, I asked the Angels, the spirits, the powers that be to find me a woman to love who will love me and be compatible. and I've had some strong love, some good runs. It's not that I'm ready to give up a bit of my wild side - that can never die until I do - but I need a woman who can roll with it and have just that little bit to blend with my own. And stability. I need stability.
Please, Angels. A job at Mullen and a beautiful, intelligent, charming, funny, dark haired, compatible woman. Please.
Peace out.
When we grabbed a drink with Neil at UBar, I saw a heavyset girl and her thin gf cross the street. I was jealous. And I realized I need that. I need that stability in my life. Not blowing a stranger, or breaking a sweet straight man's heart stringing him along. Not chasing one older straight woman after another and swearing my love and loyalty like a melancholy Romantic poet, never to be reciprocated.
In the past, I asked the Angels, the spirits, the powers that be to find me a woman to love who will love me and be compatible. and I've had some strong love, some good runs. It's not that I'm ready to give up a bit of my wild side - that can never die until I do - but I need a woman who can roll with it and have just that little bit to blend with my own. And stability. I need stability.
Please, Angels. A job at Mullen and a beautiful, intelligent, charming, funny, dark haired, compatible woman. Please.
Peace out.