Finding meaning in chaos
My horoscope this week hinted at changes in my love life. And simplifying things. Not that what some yahoo at yahoo says is enough in and of itself to sway me.
Remember Liz, the alcoholic? I loved her. She didn't want a relationship and was a bad idea. Do I regret meeting her? No. Meeting her gave me the courage to leave Hannah. And self-respect.
Round two. I fall for another older woman I can't have. (Seriously, maybe I should just start actively seeking women a but older than me. It's not like I'm not nearing 30 myself.) and there's such DRAMA! Noel has said she wants to get away from us altogether bc of all the drama... And lis is furious at me bc she wants her make out buddy (?!?!) even though she caused all the drama when the three of us were together and probably made it quite uncomfortable. Which led me to think I could vent to Noel... Which led things to spiral out...
I can't have Noel, as much as that hurts and stings. That much is clear. But is this all the call to leave Lis?
I'm in a bad spot but don't want to use her and stay with her for the comfort. It's wrong. The least I could do is be honest. We will see where that gets me. I'm rather floating out to sea right now... Nobody to catch me. My parents are crazy and useless, my friends all involved in their own lives since my breakup with Hannah and my poverty moved me away from them. Maybe I still have dean and Neil to some extent, but I don't want to tax them.
We see how it goes.
Remember Liz, the alcoholic? I loved her. She didn't want a relationship and was a bad idea. Do I regret meeting her? No. Meeting her gave me the courage to leave Hannah. And self-respect.
Round two. I fall for another older woman I can't have. (Seriously, maybe I should just start actively seeking women a but older than me. It's not like I'm not nearing 30 myself.) and there's such DRAMA! Noel has said she wants to get away from us altogether bc of all the drama... And lis is furious at me bc she wants her make out buddy (?!?!) even though she caused all the drama when the three of us were together and probably made it quite uncomfortable. Which led me to think I could vent to Noel... Which led things to spiral out...
I can't have Noel, as much as that hurts and stings. That much is clear. But is this all the call to leave Lis?
I'm in a bad spot but don't want to use her and stay with her for the comfort. It's wrong. The least I could do is be honest. We will see where that gets me. I'm rather floating out to sea right now... Nobody to catch me. My parents are crazy and useless, my friends all involved in their own lives since my breakup with Hannah and my poverty moved me away from them. Maybe I still have dean and Neil to some extent, but I don't want to tax them.
We see how it goes.