Sacrifices must be made
Disclaimer: this post is not intended to be a cry for pity or be emo in any ridiculous way. This is an account of what's happening as of late and how I feel about things.
Going to be selling off a lot of my possessions soonish. My family is barely making it (barely $30,000/yr right now) and Mom is badly in need of extensive oral surgery (17 years overdue, but hey, we're lucky to be able to manage occasional doc visits. We can't afford dental visits and even hospitalization kills us). PC parts, novelties, magazines, memorabilia, games, anything I can find that I have... even old artwork of mine and $5 full commissions (though no one seems to want those if they aren't smutty...). Heck, I even cut off all subscriptions I have to anything. I'm trying to do what I can to help pay for what's important. Despite Mom insisting that I shouldn't be concerned, I believe I have a right to be sometimes. I mean, I live here too, and when Mom is often in so much pain and getting sick from her mouth infections and tooth damages (and showing some signs of cardiovascular problems associated with oral disease), I do think I have a right to be a bit scared. To put it in perspective: she has to grind her food to a pulp in a chopper in order to eat. That's how severe it is.
I'll be honest: commissions and the occasional computer system customer are the only income I have in my life. I cannot get formal employment due to medical disabilities that cause numerous issues (anxiety, intestinal problems, irritable bowel, insomnia, etc)... issues that employers don't seem to want to bother with. Unfortunately, this also puts a severe damper on jobs I'd love to have: concept artist for game developers, an animator, a professional PC technician... so many other things. If anything, this may help you understand why I get so desperate with such low art prices. Every bit I can get, even if the profit is a single dollar, makes a difference. This goes for things I sell too. Even if it means killing my profit potential, a weak sale is better than no sale at all. At times like this in life, I'm grateful when even one sale happens.
Yes, it's painful to have to give up things you love and have worked hard to obtain, but I cannot bear to lose shelter and loved ones. The loss of my uncle last October fortified that sentiment.
Folks, remember to always be thankful for all that you have in life, especially the most basic of needs: food on the table, a place to live, and people that matter most to you. Never ever forget these things. You may lose them at any time.
P.S. You may have noticed I don't post much in LJ and that often the posts I do make are about troubles and hardships, things which I know no one is ever interested in reading. I'm sorry folks. I don't have the amazing, fun and exciting life that many others do. I cannot be them and they cannot be me. This is reality. I can't pretend to be what I'm not. I'm just a struggling artist trying to find his identity and calling in this world. Hardships are part of life. I'm not looking for pity or answers. It's all simply ongoings in my life and my thoughts and feelings therein. I just pray that people will perhaps understand.
Going to be selling off a lot of my possessions soonish. My family is barely making it (barely $30,000/yr right now) and Mom is badly in need of extensive oral surgery (17 years overdue, but hey, we're lucky to be able to manage occasional doc visits. We can't afford dental visits and even hospitalization kills us). PC parts, novelties, magazines, memorabilia, games, anything I can find that I have... even old artwork of mine and $5 full commissions (though no one seems to want those if they aren't smutty...). Heck, I even cut off all subscriptions I have to anything. I'm trying to do what I can to help pay for what's important. Despite Mom insisting that I shouldn't be concerned, I believe I have a right to be sometimes. I mean, I live here too, and when Mom is often in so much pain and getting sick from her mouth infections and tooth damages (and showing some signs of cardiovascular problems associated with oral disease), I do think I have a right to be a bit scared. To put it in perspective: she has to grind her food to a pulp in a chopper in order to eat. That's how severe it is.
I'll be honest: commissions and the occasional computer system customer are the only income I have in my life. I cannot get formal employment due to medical disabilities that cause numerous issues (anxiety, intestinal problems, irritable bowel, insomnia, etc)... issues that employers don't seem to want to bother with. Unfortunately, this also puts a severe damper on jobs I'd love to have: concept artist for game developers, an animator, a professional PC technician... so many other things. If anything, this may help you understand why I get so desperate with such low art prices. Every bit I can get, even if the profit is a single dollar, makes a difference. This goes for things I sell too. Even if it means killing my profit potential, a weak sale is better than no sale at all. At times like this in life, I'm grateful when even one sale happens.
Yes, it's painful to have to give up things you love and have worked hard to obtain, but I cannot bear to lose shelter and loved ones. The loss of my uncle last October fortified that sentiment.
Folks, remember to always be thankful for all that you have in life, especially the most basic of needs: food on the table, a place to live, and people that matter most to you. Never ever forget these things. You may lose them at any time.
P.S. You may have noticed I don't post much in LJ and that often the posts I do make are about troubles and hardships, things which I know no one is ever interested in reading. I'm sorry folks. I don't have the amazing, fun and exciting life that many others do. I cannot be them and they cannot be me. This is reality. I can't pretend to be what I'm not. I'm just a struggling artist trying to find his identity and calling in this world. Hardships are part of life. I'm not looking for pity or answers. It's all simply ongoings in my life and my thoughts and feelings therein. I just pray that people will perhaps understand.