This Has Been Long Coming.
Recently ze husband and I were watching The Onion; the Movie. One skit in the movie spoofs the murder mystery in a box game. Their game was a rape mystery in a box. And that got me thinking....
Now, I wasn't offended by the skit. It amused me because I always did think that the murder mystery game was weird. My only complaint about the skit was that it dragged on a bit too long (like many of the skits in the movie) and lost much of it's beginning humor.
It did remind me, though, of people who cry rape. That, then, led me to be reminded of people who claim to be physically abused. And, for the grand finale, it got me thinking about people who lie about having either of those happen to them.
There is very little that can piss me off more than someone claiming to have been sexually or physcially abused and it being untrue. I just cannot understand how a person can be so desperate for attention that they feel it's ok to resort to telling lies like that. And I can't forgive lies of that caliber.
You see, I was sexually and physcially abused. For almost a decade. Starting when I was just turning three. And, to make matters worse, the one whose job it was to protect me from such things knew it was going on and did nothing.
So, as you can see, one might consider me perhaps sensitive to the subject and a little over sensitive to being lied to about such things.
I've got this mile wide soft spot for people who have survived sexual or physical abuse. Hell, I even feel drawn to people who have shitty parents. I've only been able to meet a few people who endured such things and managed to become reasonably healthy adults. It breaks my heart that such a low percentage of abuse survivors can become that and it breaks my heart even more to see the ones who just can't. The damage an abuser can do to a child has so much influence on their future. Some stay quiet and never tell others that it happened, some acknowledge it and find a way to live with it and then there are others who deny it happening and spend the rest of their lives running from it, allowing it to eat away at who they could have been.
I can't help but feel drawn to other victums. It can feel, at times, like meeting another solider that was unknowingly drafted against their will in that same secret war you were. You can sympathize with each other, trade stories and lean on each other for support. And, sometimes, it can give you relief like no other to know that someone else can understand how it feels trying to learn to live with that kind of past. There is a desire in me to try and provide as much support as I can for those who want it and want to deal with their own pasts.
So, when a person lies about being abused, it feels like (for me) that it belittles what I went through and survived. In my mind I can't understand how a person would want to lie about such a thing. Do they not understand how them lying about being abused can make other abuse victums less believable? If enough people cry rape and it's discovered that they never were it now makes those were honest were less likely to be believed than before.
I think I best heard it stated as "nothing weakens the cause more than a fake rape".
Same with false abuse.
I just can't forgive these kind of lies. It doesn't make it any better that I fiercely hate being lied to, but I can often forgive it apologized to. But I can't forgive fake rape/abuse. When I beging thinking about what happened to me, how it affected how others treated me (let me tell you, it's a whole new kind of rejection when the person you have been dating drops you in an instant when learning about that kind of past) and how hard it was learning to comes to terms with the whys and hows and never completly being able to understand it all I so offended that a person can lie about that.
There are many emotions that get wrapped up in this. Pain, confusion, degredation, anger.
And unbelievable heart break that a person could care so little about that to use it as an stupid effort for attention.
To those who are do god damn greedy for attention that they will resort doing that, grow the hell up and learn to find something more precious to you than your ego. I hope they never have to experience their lie become a reality.
It's a betrayal to myself to forgive those sort of lies, epsecially when the one lying doesn't feel bad for doing it.
Now, I wasn't offended by the skit. It amused me because I always did think that the murder mystery game was weird. My only complaint about the skit was that it dragged on a bit too long (like many of the skits in the movie) and lost much of it's beginning humor.
It did remind me, though, of people who cry rape. That, then, led me to be reminded of people who claim to be physically abused. And, for the grand finale, it got me thinking about people who lie about having either of those happen to them.
There is very little that can piss me off more than someone claiming to have been sexually or physcially abused and it being untrue. I just cannot understand how a person can be so desperate for attention that they feel it's ok to resort to telling lies like that. And I can't forgive lies of that caliber.
You see, I was sexually and physcially abused. For almost a decade. Starting when I was just turning three. And, to make matters worse, the one whose job it was to protect me from such things knew it was going on and did nothing.
So, as you can see, one might consider me perhaps sensitive to the subject and a little over sensitive to being lied to about such things.
I've got this mile wide soft spot for people who have survived sexual or physical abuse. Hell, I even feel drawn to people who have shitty parents. I've only been able to meet a few people who endured such things and managed to become reasonably healthy adults. It breaks my heart that such a low percentage of abuse survivors can become that and it breaks my heart even more to see the ones who just can't. The damage an abuser can do to a child has so much influence on their future. Some stay quiet and never tell others that it happened, some acknowledge it and find a way to live with it and then there are others who deny it happening and spend the rest of their lives running from it, allowing it to eat away at who they could have been.
I can't help but feel drawn to other victums. It can feel, at times, like meeting another solider that was unknowingly drafted against their will in that same secret war you were. You can sympathize with each other, trade stories and lean on each other for support. And, sometimes, it can give you relief like no other to know that someone else can understand how it feels trying to learn to live with that kind of past. There is a desire in me to try and provide as much support as I can for those who want it and want to deal with their own pasts.
So, when a person lies about being abused, it feels like (for me) that it belittles what I went through and survived. In my mind I can't understand how a person would want to lie about such a thing. Do they not understand how them lying about being abused can make other abuse victums less believable? If enough people cry rape and it's discovered that they never were it now makes those were honest were less likely to be believed than before.
I think I best heard it stated as "nothing weakens the cause more than a fake rape".
Same with false abuse.
I just can't forgive these kind of lies. It doesn't make it any better that I fiercely hate being lied to, but I can often forgive it apologized to. But I can't forgive fake rape/abuse. When I beging thinking about what happened to me, how it affected how others treated me (let me tell you, it's a whole new kind of rejection when the person you have been dating drops you in an instant when learning about that kind of past) and how hard it was learning to comes to terms with the whys and hows and never completly being able to understand it all I so offended that a person can lie about that.
There are many emotions that get wrapped up in this. Pain, confusion, degredation, anger.
And unbelievable heart break that a person could care so little about that to use it as an stupid effort for attention.
To those who are do god damn greedy for attention that they will resort doing that, grow the hell up and learn to find something more precious to you than your ego. I hope they never have to experience their lie become a reality.
It's a betrayal to myself to forgive those sort of lies, epsecially when the one lying doesn't feel bad for doing it.