The Other Side of the Street
Written for nopseud for MTYG 2008.
Thank you to my betas justhitstatic and kira_j
It started when Kevin woke up in bed with a woman. A woman who was not Kristin. His immediate reaction was “Who the fuck are you?” This woman, whoever she was and whatever the hell she was doing there, was clearly not pleased.
“Excuse me? How drunk were you last night?”
Kevin scratched his head. “I don’t remember--”
“Screaming my name last night? Fuck off, JC!”
The woman snatched up her clothes and stomped out of the room in a huff. Kevin, still lying on the bed, was sure that he hadn’t picked up any strange women last night. In fact, when he’d fallen asleep, he’d been on the bus after finishing up a show somewhere. And why anyone would be calling him JC was beyond his comprehension.
Kevin stretched and glanced around the room. Whoever decorated had strange tastes. The bedspread was a zebra stripe pattern, and a large abstract painting hung from one of the walls, but the rest was for the most part bare. If this was a hotel, someone should’ve been fired for putting this room together. Kevin rolled out of bed and sauntered over to the bathroom. He suspected that maybe this wasn’t a hotel, since there was a bathmat on the floor, a navy colored towel hanging over the shower door, and a toothbrush holder on the sink. He cautiously turned on the faucet to splash his face. He glanced up at the mirror to make sure he looked alright, which is when Kevin saw his reflection.
Kevin screamed.
JC woke up when an alarm went off. Strange, because he didn’t remember setting an alarm. He also found the bed empty, which was weird because last night he’d hooked up with a hot mami named Marissa at the Red Velvet Room, and she’d promised him some wake up sex for this morning. JC rolled over to turn off the alarm, still perplexed as to why it was there in the first place. He hadn’t even used an alarm in months. JC reached down to adjust himself and...whoa that did not feel like his. It was...nice, but it definitely wasn’t his. JC, startled, rolled out of the bed, hitting the floor with a clunk.
“Kev, you okay in there?” someone yelled out. JC lay stunned on the floor.
“Kevin, hellooo?” JC saw the face of Brian Littrell over him, waving his hand in circles.
“What are you doing here?” JC asked, a little bit stunned as to why there were Backstreet Boys in his bedroom.
“Um, we share a bus together? I’m not that bad of a bunkmate am I?” Brian said. “And why are you lying on the floor?”
“Um...” JC pondered. “I fell. Off the bed. On the floor.”
“Smooth. You better get up before we hit a bump or something. Wouldn’t want you to hit the floor again.”
JC sat up, dazed. He was probably still asleep, and this was all a dream. A shower would help. “Um, I’m gonna go shower,” he told the Brian mirage. Luckily the bathroom was easy to find. The shower was tiny, like a bus shower, but JC chalked that up to sleep walking as well. The shower would appear bigger when he turned the water on. He hoped.
JC stripped off the clothes he’d been wearing, just a white t-shirt and boxers and nothing unrecognizable, and turned on the water. Stepping in, JC felt himself relax. Nothing was better than a hot shower in the morning. Well, maybe nothing except morning sex,but his chances of that looked shot to hell, so this was the next best thing. JC scrubbed himself with the washcloth he’d found, purposely avoiding that area so that he wouldn’t feel something that didn’t belong there. It didn’t bring him much comfort, since he kept feeling muscles that he didn’t remember having. JC grabbed the shampoo, squirting some into his hand. He reached up to run it through his hair and found...stubble. His hair was short, but it wasn’t that short. His head wasn’t shaped well enough for a buzz cut. Unless someone had pulled a prank on him, except that everyone who had a key to his place was out of town. Something was wrong.
JC got dressed and walked out to the kitchen area of the bus, where Brian was waiting with a box of cereal. “Want some Fruit Loops?” he asked, shaking the box suggestively. JC snatched the box and poured it into a bowl on the table. God, I’m apparently turning into Justin now.
“So,” Brian said, eying JC expectantly. “Were you serious about what you said last night?”
“Um..” JC stalled. Whatever it was, it sounded important, but he hadn’t the slightest idea what Brian might be talking about. Secret Backstreet stuff, probably.
“You dropped a bombshell on me last night, don’t dodge it now.”
“I’m sorry,” JC apologized. “I just..hit my head kinda hard when I fell out of bed, I’m having a little trouble remembering things.”
“You said this might be your last tour with us. You really thinking about leaving Kev?”
“I don’t..” JC scrambled for words. Kevin was leaving the Backstreet Boys? Was the group breaking up? “Maybe we should talk when I’m feeling a little better. Do you have any Tylenol? I have a major headache.”
Kevin couldn’t believe his eyes. He was...he was...JC Chasez. He couldn’t be JC Chasez, people just didn’t randomly change bodies. And how was he supposed to fix this? He couldn’t be JC, he was supposed to be in the middle of a tour. Of course if he was JC, that likely meant that JC was him and... Oh god, they were fucked. They had a show tomorrow, and JC didn’t know any of the moves. Or his parts. Or stage settings. Or...
Kevin’s thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the phone ringing. There was no way he was picking up, since he probably didn’t even know the person on the other end. He’d already pissed off one person in the mere 15 minutes he’d been awake, he didn’t need to make it two. After five rings, the answering machine picked up.
“Hey Jace, it’s Justin. Pick up, I know you’re there. C’mon man, step away from the soundboard and pick up the damn phone. JaaaayyCeeeee, don’t make me come there and kick your scrawny ass.”
“Hello?” Kevin answered, picking up the phone. He at least knew Justin, if only vaguely, so he could probably fake a short conversation with him.
“There you are,” Justin replied. “I knew you were home, not like you’ve been up to much lately.”
“Is that supposed to be an insult?” Kevin snapped, a little strung out from the morning so far.
“Whoa man chill out. Someone not get any sleep last night?”
“No, I slept, it’s just...” Kevin figured that ‘ended up in another person’s body’ wasn’t something Justin would buy, so he tried to come up with something more believable. There was that girl this morning.. “I had someone over. You know.”
“Oh man, you were about to get some? Why the hell would you pick up? Is she hot?”
“She left already.”
“Ooh, ouch dude. Sucks to be you. Did it at least not suck last night? Cause if it did, that would, well, suck.”
Kevin did not want to talk about this. Especially since he hadn’t been the one who got some last night. “Justin.”
“Alright fine, I get it, you’re not gonna kiss and tell. Or fuck and tell. Whichever. Listen, I was calling to see what you were up to. Are you free next week?”
Kevin figured things would be back to normal by next week. And since, according to Justin, JC wasn’t doing anything lately, an affirmative answer should be ok. “Yea. I think so.”
“Good, cause I wanna throw some song ideas around with you. Your place, Wednesday. I’ll call you Tuesday night and let you know what time.”
“Sounds good.” Kevin found a pen and some paper and left a note for JC with the details of Justin’s call. Now, before anyone else could throw him off guard, he needed to call the man occupying his body.
JC was startled by the sound of someone’s cell phone ringing. He crossed his fingers that it was Brian’s and he wouldn’t have to fake a concussion to anyone else.
“Kevin, you gonna answer that?” Brian shouted from the back of the bus.
JC tentatively picked up the phone, hoping it wasn’t something important. “Hello?”
“You have no idea how weird it is to hear the sound of your own voice pick up.” It was himself. Well, more than likely it was Kevin, but it sounded like himself.
“I think I do now,” JC replied. God this was weird.
“Is this really happening? I’m not imagining all this, am I?” Kevin asked.
“Only if I’m imagining it too.”
“What the hell is going on here?” Kevin asked abruptly.
“How the hell am I supposed to know? You think I don’t find this a little bit weird too? Last night I went to bed with this foxy mama, and today I wake up with Brian Littrell!” JC blurted in response.
“You were in bed with Brian?” Kevin asked, sounding a little more weirded out than before.
“I...what? No! I just meant...Whatever, you know what I meant. If I’d have woken up with Brian in my bed, I’d be a little concerned about your sanity, not mine.” JC said. “And you two are cousins, ugh.”
“You have a sick mind JC. I am tempted to just hang up right now,” Kevin said.
“Well um...I suppose you could. I mean, I’m you, you’re me, we just fake it for a while, right?” JC asked, scratching his head, but bringing his hand back down when he realized once again that he didn’t have hair.
“I’m not hanging up, because you’re on tour. And I don’t want you to screw it up. Ask to see last night’s tapes and memorize everything. Just say you want to critique it, and they won’t question a thing. I do it all the time. There isn’t a show tonight, just rehearsal, so that should buy you some time. If you mess up a show, so help me...” Kevin said, sounding a bit threatening. “Oh, and by the way,” Kevin added, changing his tone. “I scheduled you to meet with Justin on Wednesday.”
“You what? I...you know what, forget next week, I’ve just got to get through today. Shit, I’m in trouble. Let’s hope things sort themselves out tomorrow.”
“Here’s hoping.”
Brian wondered what was going on with Kevin. They didn’t hit a bump, and Kevin was usually a pretty coordinated guy. Maybe he’d been tossing and turning just as much as Brian had after his confession about wanting to leave the group. He’d wanted to ask Kevin about it this morning, but Kevin seemed to be dodging.
Three hours later, and Brian was still suspicious. Kevin had asked to borrow the tape from last night’s show and had gone to watch it, but Brian knew the tape wasn’t that long. Brian went to the TV room to see what was going on. He really hoped Kevin hadn’t sustained a serious head injury earlier that morning.
Entering that section of the bus, Brian saw that Kevin was fine, but still acting a little strangely. Kevin was dancing along with the recording, in the half-dancing way that being on a bus necessitated. They’d all done it on occasion, as tours tended to ingrain the moves into one’s brain, but usually they didn’t mess up the moves when they did.
“Um, Kevin?” Brian asked. Kevin jumped, then stumbled over himself before turning around.
“Yes?” Kevin replied, with a strange look on his face that Brian didn’t recognize.
“You seem rather..uncoordinated. Are you sure you didn’t seriously hurt yourself this morning? We can always stop and have you looked at. Skip practice tonight.”
“No!” Kevin said abruptly, startling Brian a bit. “No. I’m fine. I should really go to practice tonight. You know, make sure we look good for tomorrow.”
“Ok. But if you start feeling dizzy or anything, let me know,” replied Brian. He left Kevin to his dancing, not feeling any better than he had before interrupting.
As the bus pulled in to the hotel, Brian was thankful that they didn’t have any interviews today. The European press was acute this tour, and they’d definitely notice something was a little off with Kevin. There would be no hiding it from the other guys. At least not without avoiding them altogether. Which would never happen.
Howie caught Brian as he was getting into the elevator. “Hey,” Howie said, “I’m coming to your bus after tomorrow.”
“I dunno man, Kevin’s been kinda weird lately,” Brian replied. He wasn’t sure how he’d explain it to Howie.
“Kevin’s always weird,” said Howie.
“Well. Not weird like this. Out of the ordinary weird.”
“What’s up?”
“Not sure. He’s just...acting strange,” was the best Brian could come up with.
“Well, AJ and Nick are acting like AJ and Nick, so I’m joining your bus no matter how weird Kevin is.”
“Porn?” Brian asked.
“Yup,” replied Howie, not missing a blink.
“Well, hopefully Kevin is back to his usual self tomorrow. Goodness knows how long those two will be on a porn kick.”
Kevin went rummaging through JC’s cupboards for something for breakfast. He thankfully found a box of cinnamon Pop-Tarts, for the rest of the cupboard was otherwise bare, barring a jar of peanut butter, a few bags of popcorn, and a box of macaroni and cheese. The fridge was similarly empty; a half empty jug of milk, a jar of jelly, a six pack of beer, and some cheese. What the hell did this guy eat? Kevin was definitely going to the store this afternoon, even if he didn’t intend to be here long. JC would thank him later.
Howie had wondered if maybe Brian was the one who was being weird today and not Kevin. Brian had the tendency to worry over things that were nothing really. Today could have easily been one of those times.
Howie knew it was definitely Kevin though, when they got into rehearsal. He was missing steps left and right. And something sounded off in their harmonies. He couldn’t pinpoint it exactly, but...
“Kevin,” AJ turned and said, stopping in the middle of More Than That. “Is there a reason you’re trying to sing an octave up?”
So that’s what it was. No wonder they sounded funny. “I don’t get many solos as it is, and you’re trying to steal my parts, Kev?” Howie joked.
“Yea man,” Nick laughed along with Howie. “You know he’s too old for Menudo.” Howie punched Nick on the arm. Nick grabbed Howie and gave him a noogie.
“I um. Sorry. I guess I just. Yea. I didn’t mean to take your parts. Sorry,” Kevin mumbled.
“I was just joking Kev,” Howie replied. “You ok?” Kevin always knew when they were joking. And usually spoke in complete sentences. Brian was right. Kevin was being not-normal weird.
The next run through sounded a bit hazy, as Howie heard Kevin adjusting his vocals throughout the song. The group decided to break on the ballads for Kevin’s sake and run through something up-tempo instead. They skipped ahead to The One and casually ran through the choreography and vocals together. Howie watched Kevin out of the corner of his eye. He seemed to be a little hesitant in his moves, like he was out of practice, but was at least following along ok. It was like what they all looked like when tour rehearsals first began. Had they not just performed a sold out show the night before, Howie would’ve thought nothing of it.
Howie also caught that glint in Nick’s eye that said ‘I’m about to do something mischievous’. “Nick,” he said before Nick turned off, “what are you up to?”
“Just making Kevin more relaxed,” Nick grinned.
Howie watched as Nick crept up on Kevin, then leapt onto his back. He jumped when Kevin screamed.
“Jesus! Are you trying to break me in half?” Kevin yelled, more startled than angry.
“I’m sorry man, I was just trying to get you to ease up a little,” said Nick. He looked hurt.
“Go pick on someone your own size Nick,” Howie kidded, trying to make Nick feel better. He knew Nick wouldn’t hurt anyone on purpose. It wasn’t his fault that Kevin wasn’t in a joking mood today.
“Kevin is my own size,” Nick responded, sticking his tongue out at Howie.
“Fine, go pick on Brian. He deserves it the most,” Howie replied.
“I think I’m gonna pick on you instead,” Nick said, right before charging for Howie. Howie took off running towards backstage. Rehearsal wasn’t much productive after that.
Kevin woke up the next morning in the same bed that he had the day before. Same bare walls, same zebra stripe comforter. That meant he was still JC. Damn. And that JC was still him. Double damn. At least he’d gotten food the day before; now he wouldn’t starve on account of JC’s empty cupboards.
Kevin had just stepped out of the shower when the phone rang. “JC must not need an alarm clock,” Kevin thought. He decided to answer the phone, in case JC...Kevin...JC was calling.
“Hello?”
“Look who finally got himself out of the house.” Not JC.
“What are you talking about?” Kevin asked the guy who he suspected to be Lance Bass. There hadn’t been any award shows or major movie premieres lately, and he certainly didn’t go to any big events last night. He wondered if Lance had just called him by accident.
“Your grocery store trip. Page 15 of the National Enquirer has a picture of you and a box of Cheez-its in full color.”
Lance was calling him because he went grocery shopping. He didn’t know whether to think JC was a loser or to feel sorry for the guy. Perhaps both. “The National Enquirer? Why would they care if I went grocery shopping? And why were you reading the National Enquirer anyway? You know that magazine is nothing but crap.”
“Of course it is. That’s why I like it. I need something to laugh at every now and then. Besides, what are you worried about? What could possibly be incriminating about Cheez-its?” Lance chuckled.
“JC Chasez gets the munchies,” Kevin mused. Kevin always went for Cheez-its when he got the munchies. He probably should’ve gone for the rice cakes instead, they were healthier...
“When you get the munchies, you call for pizza. Hell, you call for pizza even when you don’t have the munchies. But seriously Jace, it’s nice to see you out and about again. You can’t mope forever.” Lance’s voice turned serious.
Kevin wasn’t sure what to say. What was JC moping about? It sure didn’t seem like the guy had been moping two days ago, judging from yesterday morning.
Lance didn’t let him think too long. “You finally getting over her?”
Ah. Kevin didn’t follow the lives of ‘N Sync much, but he did know about the breakup of JC and Eva Longoria. Hard to avoid it. To Kevin’s knowledge, that had been months ago; they must’ve been close if JC was still moping now. Two nights ago must have been rebound sex. Poor guy. Breakups sucked.
“Jace? You still there?”
“Uh, yea,” Kevin replied.
“If you ever need to talk, you know I’m here, ok?”
“Yeah. Yeah, um, I think I’m finally getting over it,” Kevin said. He hoped that was true. Otherwise he was setting JC up for a whole lot that he wasn’t prepared for.
“Good. I’ll talk to you later Jace,” Lance said, before hanging up the phone.
“Bye,” replied Kevin.
“So tomorrow..will it be Chris or Joey?” he thought.
Lance hung up the phone, and looked at the Inquirer page again. He was really glad JC was getting out, he really was, But he could’ve sworn JC hated Cheez-its. None of them liked Cheez-its. In fact, the only time he’d ever seen anyone crave Cheez-its was when he got high that one time at Nick Carter’s house. Lance shrugged it off; it probably didn’t mean anything anyway.
JC was awoken by a loud pounding on the door. “Yo!” It was AJ. “We’ve got a press conference, Johnny will kill us if we’re late!”
Press conference? Oh God. JC sucked at press conferences. And that was in his own band.
JC staggered out of the room, after throwing on whatever clothes he could find that relatively matched. Apparently Kevin wore a lot of black; that made it easy.
“So um...press conference?” JC asked tentatively, shutting the door behind him. He wanted to make it sound like it’d only just slipped his mind.
“For going gold here in Europe. Same old spiel as usual, we just get a plaque this time,” AJ shrugged. Apparently he sounded believable enough.
“You don’t think they’ll ask any original questions?” JC asked.
“Do they ever?” sneered AJ. “We just say how proud we are of the album, the tour’s going great, yes we’re enjoying Europe, and no we never broke up. Sorry man, these things get so old after a while, I hate having to get up early for one.” AJ paused. “You think we should just throw something random out there? If it’d make it more interesting, I’m all for it.”
“Well, um. I’m not..” ‘Not sure what I could say,’ was what JC was thinking. “Up to being random. Right now,” was what came out instead.
“You’re really out of it aren’t you Kev?” AJ said, throwing an arm over JC’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, you’ll get to see Kristin tomorrow. I’m sure she’ll help clear your mind.”
Kristin? Kevin’s wife Kristin? It was hard enough pretending to be a Backstreet Boy, and now he had to pretend to be married? Fuck, he needed to call Kevin. ASAP.
It was a short ride to the press conference. There were a lot of people with flash bulb cameras and notepads standing around and murmuring in German to each other. JC suspected they were all just local press, except for the guys speaking English off to one side, who he recognized as being from a magazine in the UK. They’d given him favorable reviews on Schizophrenic, and took it as a good sign that these two were here. The guys all sat at the table that had been set up for them, and JC sat in the chair marked “Kevin” with masking tape on the back. Brian was to his left, and AJ on his right.
The reporters asked a few general questions. Pretty much exactly what AJ had predicted. “Tell us about your album.” “How’s the tour going?” AJ was fiddling with his pen, clearly anxious to be doing something else. JC smiled knowingly; press conferences always bored him too.
Then the guys from the UK decided they wanted to hear ‘Kevin’ talk. “Kevin,” they said, getting JC’s rather unwanted attention. “What’s it been like having reunited with the guys? Are things the same as they were between you as before you broke up?”
JC cleared his throat. He could handle this one. “We never broke up. We were just on hiatus for while.”
All four guys turned to look at JC. ‘Shit,’ JC thought. ‘Bad choice of words.’ After three years, the term had become synonymous with ‘N Sync.
The guys turned their attention back to the reporters. AJ spoke up. “We took a short break. We’ve always been the Backstreet Boys, even when we weren’t on tour together.” JC owed him one. Hiatus, what the hell was he thinking?
After the conference, JC made it a point to call Kevin. The arena crew was setting up for sound check, and JC decided to find a remote corner to talk privately. Kevin picked up after two rings.
“Why did you not tell me your wife was coming?” JC blurted into the phone.
“Whoa, calm down JC,” Kevin replied, a little startled.
“Calm down? I’m supposed to pretend to be married! To your wife! I don’t know the first thing about being married, dude!”
“Just do whatever she says. That’s usually what I do,” Kevin replied nonchalantly.
“Kevin, I’m serious.”
“Call your friend Joey. He will tell you the exact same thing.” JC sighed. Kevin better be right, or else the guy was going to have a lot of explaining to do to his wife later. “Are you really still not over your ex?” Kevin continued.
“I...I don’t want to talk about it. Girls...you know how it is. Are you really leaving the Backstreet Boys?” JC tried to change the subject.
“I...I don’t want to talk about it,” Kevin replied.
JC sighed again. He really needed to know, if Brian was going to ask him again. “She cheated on me. For months. I found out when she did an interview where she professed her love for some basketball player. So no, I’m not over it.”
“Sorry man.” Kevin was silent for a moment. “I’m just getting tired of touring, I need a break. A real break, not like last time. The business, it wears you out. And I’d like to raise my kid and not have him only see me two weeks a year, you know?”
“Yea. So you’re leaving...permanently then?”
“No. Just for a little while. Couple years maybe.”
JC shook his head at the phone. He’d heard something like that before. “You’d be surprised how quickly a little while turns into something a lot longer.”
JC was really nervous about the concert that night. According to the schedule posted backstage, there were only a couple of shows left in the European leg of the tour, and JC didn’t want to disappoint all the fans that had come out to see the group. Especially if it was the last time they’d see the entire group together. He hated giving a less than stellar show, and the fact that he was standing in someone else’s shoes, quite literally, made the pressure even greater. JC had hoped that last night’s rehearsal would help him iron out the parts he was really screwing up on, but after Nick and Howie started running around the stage, the opportunity for serious rehearsal was pretty well shot. Not that JC wasn’t used to it; there wasn’t ever an ‘N Sync rehearsal where someone started goofing off eventually. He might’ve mourned the loss of productivity, but he didn’t really mind the interaction. Actually, it was really the only time JC’d felt comfortable since finding himself here.
Backstage he was restless, stretching, jumping up and down, and generally expending energy that he really should be conserving. Various stage staff were walking by staring. Kevin must usually be a calm guy. Nick walked by just then, slapping JC on the back. “Five minutes. Let’s go pray,” he said. JC had felt like he’d never hear those words.
JC linked hands with Nick and Brian, before AJ started them on a group prayer. “Heavenly father, we ask you to bless this show tonight...”
The word “amen” came sooner than JC was expecting. The butterflies were growing in his stomach as he could hear the roar of the crowd begin to rise. “You ready for this Kev?” Nick shouted while loosening himself up. The guys were ushered up the back of the scaffolding to the top of the awaiting staircase. The music began pulsing in JC’s earpiece, only slightly blocking out the all too familiar sounds of screams. ‘Don’t be nervous,’ JC thought. ‘Just go out and give them a show.’ JC took a deep breath and looked down towards the stairs. The glowing lights from under them reminded him of their Gone set, and the anticipation and screaming added to the sense that he’d been here before. Then the signal came in his ear: “3,2, and Go.”
JC marched down the stairs to the opening notes of The Call. The guys hit their spots at the waiting microphones all at once, and stopped, looking for a crowd response. The rise in the pitch of 20,000 people was the signal. JC began singing and moving through the first few steps of choreography. Then the guys broke, and JC began watching the other guys for cues on what to do. “Just go with the flow,” is what their body language said. AJ was leaning into the crowd singing his verse with Nick leaning into his ear for the harmony. Brian was clutching his mic in intensity, and Howie was pointing out to the crowd. JC started hopping up and down with the energy the crowd was giving him. He hit the next move with a rush. He felt the music move through him, no longer worrying about what might go wrong, and suddenly he remembered just how much fun being up on stage was.
JC had locked himself away for months when he could’ve been doing this? He vowed to himself, when he changed back, it was time to piece together the scraps of lyrics lying around his house and lay down some tracks for a new album. It was time for JC to get back to performing again.
Kevin was awakened the next morning by the sound of the phone ringing. “Dear lord, not again,” he muttered. “Why don’t JC’s friends ever call in the afternoon?”
He rolled out of the bed and picked up the phone. “Hello?”
“Hey Jace. Lance tells me you’ve actually left your house.” It was Joey. Chris must be calling tomorrow.
“It’s really not that big a deal. I went grocery shopping.” If people called at...7:30 in the morning every time JC went somewhere, Kevin understood why the guy never left his house.
“For you, that is a big deal. Seriously, we’ve all been worried about you man,” said Joey.
“Yea, that’s what Lance said too,” Kevin replied in a raspy voice.
“Did I wake you up?” Joey asked.
“Yes.”
“Score! My four year old woke me up at 5:30 this morning, someone else ought to get an unwanted wake up call.”
“I know how that goes,” replied Kevin. He couldn’t count the number of times he’d been woken up, much earlier than 5:30 even, by Morgan. Gotta love your kids, but sometimes, love really ought to wait until the sun’s up.
“Dude, you must really be up early. You don’t know how that goes. Usually you’re coherent enough to remember that you uh, don’t have children. At least last I checked. You’re not trying to tell me something are you Jace? Please tell me you don’t have kids. I don’t know if the world could handle two of you.”
Ah shit. He couldn’t believe he let that slip. “No. No, Joey, I don’t have kids. I’m just not coherent this early in the morning.”
“Yea, I know. I think we figured that one out a long time ago. And I also know that you’re probably going to go back to sleep as soon as I hang up.”
“Probably,” Kevin replied. That was close.
“Bye Jace. Don’t make me call you again.”
“Bye.” Trying to be someone else you knew little about was tough. And that was only for the few minutes of the day that people called JC’s house. He couldn’t imagine how tough JC had it right now, living in his place, nearly the entire span of the day.
“I’m bored,” said Howie. He was sprawled on the couch, while Brian sat at the dining table booth, and Kevin was leaning against the refrigerator door. It was a 13 hour ride from Nuremberg to Barcelona, and Brian had already tired of all the movies they had in their bus collection. A day off was nice, but not when you were trapped in a 50 foot space with nothing to do.
“Yea, me too,” Brian agreed. “You got any ideas Kev?” he asked, casually glancing up at Kevin. Kevin still didn’t seem quite like himself, but he looked a lot more relaxed today than he had a couple days ago.
“Not really. Unless we’ve got any good games lying around.” Kevin shrugged.
“We’ve got Uno,” said Howie.
“Sounds fun. Something better than standing around,” said Kevin. “Get it out.”
“No way, Howie cheats at Uno,” Brian replied.
“Do not,” retorted Howie.
“How the hell do you cheat at Uno?” Kevin asked.
“Whatever, let’s play. Anyone else hungry too?” Brian said, getting up from his spot at the booth to grab a box from the cupboards above him.
Howie dealt out the cards, Brian eyeing him carefully to make sure he wasn’t slipping extra cards into everyone else’s hand. Brian placed the box of Cheez-its on the table, digging his hand in for a bunch.
“Oh sweet, Cheez-its!” Howie grabbed the box off the table and dug in as well. “You want some Cheez-its Kevin?”
“I hate Cheez-its,” Kevin said.
Brian had judged wrong. Kevin was definitely still weird in a not normal way. Normal Kevin would never turn down Cheez-its, even if he’d just eaten a full meal. “Since when?” Brian exclaimed. “You were the one who had these brought over here from America. Are you alright Kevin?”
Kevin didn’t say anything. Brian and Howie stared at him in anticipation. Something was wrong, it had to be. Brian started to get a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.
“Um. Just kidding,” Kevin said, though it sounded more tentative than it should have. It was enough for Brian to hear, for the moment at least. Brian exhaled the breath he didn’t know he was holding. Kevin had him more on edge the past few days than he realized. Was he really that worried over a box of snack crackers?
Howie passed Kevin the box. Kevin took out only a few, giving a weird smile as he did so. ‘Stop worrying,’ Brian thought to himself. ‘It’s nothing, it’s just Cheez-its. He’s probably not very hungry. Quit thinking about it and play the game.’
Brian picked up his hand. He looked at his cards, then at the card lying on the table. Perfect. “Draw two Howie.”
Surprisingly, Chris didn’t call to wake Kevin up on his fourth morning in JC’s house. Chris probably realized that it wasn’t such a big deal. Kevin was sure Chris knew about it at least, the way Joey and Lance were quick about things. Chris also probably had the good sense to wait until a decent hour to make phone calls.
Kevin really wasn’t sure if going out was the best idea, so he decided to explore JC’s house instead. As eclectic and flamboyant as JC’s closet was (it took half an hour for Kevin to find something normal to wear), Kevin expected the house to be dashed with color and odd wall hangings. The decorating was instead rather sparse, a table here, a sofa there, and a couple of impressionist paintings on the wall. There was a home theater, which looked like the most lived in place in the whole house, being the first room Kevin had seen that was not pristinely clean. Kevin couldn’t imagine being holed up here for months like JC had been; not unless the dry cleanliness was the maid’s doing.
When Kevin made his way to the basement, he finally realized where JC had been spending all his time. A fully functioning studio had been set up in JC’s basement, complete with soundboard, microphone, guitars, electric drum set, and a keyboard. Papers and notebooks were strewn everywhere, bits of songs scattered about JC’s floor. He’d heard JC was a bit of a studio rat, now he supposed it was true.
Usually home studios weren’t much, just a place to lay down ideas, but this one was far beyond that. It had the marks of someone with a true creative bug, an itch to make music as it came to him. Kevin couldn’t resist sitting down at the controls. Something about it drew him in. He ran his fingers over the various knobs and switches, mentally reciting what each one did. Then Kevin’s eyes turned to the keyboard. He’d been on tour for so long, he hadn’t had the chance to sit down at a piano and let something flow.
Kevin moved from the chair and walked over to the keyboard, careful not to disturb any of the papers lying around. He switched on the keyboard and sat at the bench, letting his fingers rest on the keys. Kevin let out a deep breath, and allowed his fingers to move wherever they felt. A melody Kevin wasn’t sure he recognized sprung from the keyboard. Kevin knew at that moment, that this would not be a part of what he would leave behind to be with his family. He was like JC, in a way. The music flowed through him.
Kevin smiled. Perhaps things weren’t so different after all, on the other end of the great boyband divide.
“Hey honey,” said Kristin, bursting through the hotel doors in Barcelona and planting a kiss on JC’s lips. JC knew this was coming. He’d been mentally preparing himself for the last 3 days for her arrival. He’d grilled Brian about how things were going with Leighanne, until he was sure Brian wished he would move to AJ and Nick’s bus. Of course, Brian had in turn asked about Kevin’s marriage; questions which JC tried to deflect or at least give undetailed answers like “You know, the usual.” Howie had taken to giving him weird looks when it appeared like he didn’t want to talk about ‘his’ wife. JC distracted both of them by instituting numerous games of Uno. He might actually have stopped Howie from cheating by the time they’d played enough.
All the answers he’d got from Brian and telling himself that he’d be fine over and over still weren’t enough to prepare him for her actually being there. It was one thing thinking about, it was a whole other to be kissed by another man’s wife, she believing it was her husband. It certainly didn’t help that he wasn’t entirely fond of women right now.
“It’s uh, it’s good to see you. I’ve got a press conference to get to right now though, I’ll see you later. Um, ok?” It was the truth at least. Nothing like a busy schedule to deflect awkward situations.
“I will. And we’re not the only ones in town right now, so I’m dragging you out tonight. I hope the boys don’t mind.”
Crowds. Good. “Sounds great. I haven’t been out in a while.” Also the truth, thankfully. JC rushed off before he could think much more about it. He wouldn’t be able to deflect her forever, but he could at least let the tour schedule work for him now.
“You almost ready to go?” JC asked, after having changed from the night’s concert. He was hoping to cut down his and Kristin’s private time, so things would be less likely to get awkward.
“Yea, almost,” Kristin replied. “I’m just not sure whether I should go for the black purse, or the blue one. I know it’s silly, but I want to look nice out with you and...it’s really not much use asking you, is it?”
“Take the black one,” JC suggested. “It matches your outfit better.” Blue never seemed to go much with anything anyway.
“Um, thanks. When did you become a fashion expert on me?” she asked. It sounded more like she was flirting than being suspicious. Good, but still slightly awkward.
“Must be Europe rubbing off on me I guess,” JC replied, hoping that sounded flirty enough. He felt slightly guilty about it, but he was sure Kevin would understand.
“So uh, your wife and I went out last night,” JC said.
“Yea, I saw this morning on the internet,” Kevin replied, as he munched on the slowly emptying box of Cheez-its from his infamous shopping trip.
“You’re internet-stalking me?” JC asked.
“I’m keeping up with you guys just in case something that you guys did comes up in conversation. It’s not stalking. How’d it go?”
“Not as awkward as it could have been. She got kinda flirty with me after I suggested which purse she should bring,” JC said nonchalantly.
“You offered my wife purse advice?” Kevin asked suspiciously.
“Yeah. I mean, well, I figure since you’ve worn skirts and all, that it wouldn’t make a difference...”
“It’s not the same.”
“But-“ JC started.
“Trust me. It’s not.”
There was a long pause from both of them.
“We can’t keep doing this forever,” Kevin said.
“Agreed,” JC replied.
“There’s got to be something we can do, right? These things don’t just happen. You haven’t been hanging around any witch doctors lately have you?”
“I haven’t been hanging around anyone lately, cat. Oh! What if..what if we have do something for each other, like something important?!”
“Do something for each other?”
“Yea, you know, like that show, with the dude from Star Trek.”
“William Shatner?” Kevin asked, raising an eyebrow.
“No no no, not him, the guy from Enterprise,” JC explained.
“Sorry, JC, I don’t watch Star Trek.”
“Seriously? You should man. Classic television. Anyway, so like, this guy-“
“Star Trek guy?"
“Yea, him. He was on this other show where he like, went back in the past into other people’s bodies and had to change somebody’s life so he could leave. What if it’s like that? You help me out, I help you out, then we both change back.”
“Can’t hurt I guess. What are you thinking we have to help each other with?”
JC paused for a moment. “It’s got to be something big. I mean like, maybe I’m supposed to tell your group that I- that you’re leaving.”
“I scheduled you to record with Justin on Wednesday. Maybe that’s what I have to do for you.”
“Has to be. Justin and I haven’t recorded together since... Since. Well.”
Kevin knew what JC meant. He could tell by the disappointment in his voice. “He’ll want to do it more than once, I’m sure. You’ll get to record with him as you after we switch back.”
“I hope. Thanks.”
“You’re welcome. And good luck. I’m almost glad it’s you and not me who has to break the news.”
Justin arrived Wednesday morning as promised. Kevin was a little worried about what Justin was expecting to write. He’d heard both Justin’s and JC’s solo albums, and they sounded nothing alike. Unless they were writing for a newly reunited ‘N Sync, Kevin had no idea how their styles would blend. Or how he was supposed to make them blend.
“Hey JC,” Justin said as he came through the door, proceeding to give Kevin a man hug. “You ready to get it the studio? I mean, I know it’s been a little while...”
“Yeah, I’m ready. And um, no worries. Not like we haven’t recorded together before,” Kevin replied. Justin hadn’t sounded that tentative on the phone last week. It must have been a while since they had seen each other in person. It wouldn’t entirely surprise Kevin. But Kevin was determined not to let this become awkward. For his sake, for Justin’s sake, and for JC’s. “C’mon, studio’s in the basement. You’ll have to forgive my mess.”
Justin shook his head. “I’ve seen your studio, man. Unless you’ve turned an animal loose down there, it can’t be any worse than I’ve already seen.”
Kevin led Justin to the basement studio. Justin didn’t say anything else on the way down. Kevin wondered if the awkward silence was just because of him, or because of something that had happened between JC and Justin earlier.
The tension was cut when Kevin opened the door. “Oh yeah, I’ve seen worse,” Justin laughed. Justin pulled a tape out of his pocket that was marked ‘JC beats’. “I saw the lyrics for your song. You were saying that weren’t sure what kind of music it should have, so I made a couple beat tracks. Just background stuff. Let me know what you like and we can start from there. That uh, that sound good?”
“Lyrics? Oh, yeah. I’m just...not sure I can find them in this mess,” Kevin replied, looking around for something that stuck out. JC hadn’t mentioned that he’d already given Justin lyrics.
“Thought you’d say that. That’s why I printed them off,” Justin said, producing a printed copy of an email. Kevin read through the page to see what JC had written. It wasn’t a full song just yet, just a series of lines that JC had noted should be included somewhere. Justin had written on the page as well, but the only thing Kevin could decipher were the arrows directing lyrics to be moved around. It was a good thing that JC had typed his portion; if JC’s handwriting was as bad as Justin’s he would’ve had to make something else up entirely.
Justin put the tape into the tape deck. The sound coming from the speaker sounded like a typical drum and base rhythm. So did the second track. And the third. Kevin thought that JC would’ve been tired of techntronic backbeats by now, after being stuck with it by their record companies in the early days. Kevin looked at the lyric sheet again. This song was way too bitter for techno.
“I’m really not feeling any of these,” Kevin said. It might be JC’s song, but he didn’t want it to suck. “Not the right mood.”
“You said you were thinking up-tempo,” Justin replied.
“Yeah, just not that kind of up-tempo.” Kevin eyed the keyboard. That’s what the song needed. Kevin moved from the panel, across the sea of paper, to the bench at the keyboard. He flipped on the switch and played a quick scale to warm up. “Read me some of the lyrics again,” he instructed Justin.
“Can you help me understand why you would keep me while you’re sexing with another man,” Justin read. “That good or you want me to keep going?”
“Nah, that’s good. So this girl, she’s creeping around right? What about having a creeping baseline?” Kevin played a slow descending progression on the keyboard. It sounded sort of like something to accompany sneaking in an old gumshoe film.
“Yeah man, I like that! How about a guitar or something on the off beats? Give it a little extra emphasis,” Justin said. He picked up the electric guitar JC had leaning against the wall and plugged it in to a nearby amp. “Play it again.”
Kevin played the baseline again. Justin strummed a note on the off beats, adding the emphasis Justin suggested it would. This fit so much better than anything techtronic, letting the music tell the same story the lyrics did. They’d be sure to add some riffs and melodies as it flowed.
“You think we should lay this down?” Justin asked excitedly.
“Yeah. Let’s tinker around with the music a little more, figure out where to add in some drums. I like where this is going. We can play around with the lyrics some other day.”
Justin smiled a toothy smile. “I don’t know why we didn’t do this sooner Jace. I’d forgotten how much fun it was getting in the studio with you.”
It took JC until the boys arrived back in America to work up the courage to tell them Kevin was leaving. He spent the entire duration of the flight home trying to think of the best way to deliver the news. He knew how hard it was to hear something like that. He’d been on the receiving end of it. Twice.
He’d called an unofficial band meeting before the guys broke away from each other for the after-tour Thanksgiving holiday break. It was his last opportunity until the AMAs ten days away, and JC didn’t wish to stay as Kevin for that long. Especially since he’d be expected to spend those ten days alone with Kristin. That scared him far more than a serious conversation with the Backstreet Boys did.
They met at Nick’s house, since he was the only one who had someone stock food for him before he came home. Nick had already dumped one, maybe two, boxes of Cheez-its into a bowl before their arrival. JC scowled. What was it with these guys and Cheez-its?
JC sat down on the couch and began wringing his hands. Brian looked at him with a knowing look in his eye. The others were attacking the Cheez-its and trying to toss them into each other’s mouths.
“I’m leaving the group,” JC blurted. So much for all the building up he had planned to do. The look on Brian’s face didn’t change much. The other three froze immediately, AJ dropping the Cheez-it from his hand. The shock was evident on their faces.
“You’re leaving? After all we’ve been through as a group?” Nick said, a sense of urgency coming through.
JC took a deep breath and tried to recall exactly what Kevin had told him. “Not forever. I just need a break. A real break, not like last time. And I want my kid to see me more than two weeks a year, you know?” There, that sounded fairly familiar. Everyone in the room went silent.
AJ spoke up first. “Hey Kev, if you’re doing this for your family, we understand. They’re important to you. We know this business isn’t everything.”
Brian reached out to put his arm around JC. “And you’re always welcome to come back, anytime.”
“We’ll miss you Kev,” said Howie. Brian moved first, followed by the rest of the guys, to embrace JC in a group hug. That hadn’t been what he was expecting. He was expecting some yelling, some disappointment, maybe even some tears. He hadn’t expected hugging. He had hardly even said anything. Yet they understood. He’d sensed that these guys were tight while on tour, but now he realized just how close they all were. JC wondered why he’d waited so long to have this conversation. By this time tomorrow, JC believed everything would be back to normal.
Part 2
Thank you to my betas justhitstatic and kira_j
It started when Kevin woke up in bed with a woman. A woman who was not Kristin. His immediate reaction was “Who the fuck are you?” This woman, whoever she was and whatever the hell she was doing there, was clearly not pleased.
“Excuse me? How drunk were you last night?”
Kevin scratched his head. “I don’t remember--”
“Screaming my name last night? Fuck off, JC!”
The woman snatched up her clothes and stomped out of the room in a huff. Kevin, still lying on the bed, was sure that he hadn’t picked up any strange women last night. In fact, when he’d fallen asleep, he’d been on the bus after finishing up a show somewhere. And why anyone would be calling him JC was beyond his comprehension.
Kevin stretched and glanced around the room. Whoever decorated had strange tastes. The bedspread was a zebra stripe pattern, and a large abstract painting hung from one of the walls, but the rest was for the most part bare. If this was a hotel, someone should’ve been fired for putting this room together. Kevin rolled out of bed and sauntered over to the bathroom. He suspected that maybe this wasn’t a hotel, since there was a bathmat on the floor, a navy colored towel hanging over the shower door, and a toothbrush holder on the sink. He cautiously turned on the faucet to splash his face. He glanced up at the mirror to make sure he looked alright, which is when Kevin saw his reflection.
Kevin screamed.
JC woke up when an alarm went off. Strange, because he didn’t remember setting an alarm. He also found the bed empty, which was weird because last night he’d hooked up with a hot mami named Marissa at the Red Velvet Room, and she’d promised him some wake up sex for this morning. JC rolled over to turn off the alarm, still perplexed as to why it was there in the first place. He hadn’t even used an alarm in months. JC reached down to adjust himself and...whoa that did not feel like his. It was...nice, but it definitely wasn’t his. JC, startled, rolled out of the bed, hitting the floor with a clunk.
“Kev, you okay in there?” someone yelled out. JC lay stunned on the floor.
“Kevin, hellooo?” JC saw the face of Brian Littrell over him, waving his hand in circles.
“What are you doing here?” JC asked, a little bit stunned as to why there were Backstreet Boys in his bedroom.
“Um, we share a bus together? I’m not that bad of a bunkmate am I?” Brian said. “And why are you lying on the floor?”
“Um...” JC pondered. “I fell. Off the bed. On the floor.”
“Smooth. You better get up before we hit a bump or something. Wouldn’t want you to hit the floor again.”
JC sat up, dazed. He was probably still asleep, and this was all a dream. A shower would help. “Um, I’m gonna go shower,” he told the Brian mirage. Luckily the bathroom was easy to find. The shower was tiny, like a bus shower, but JC chalked that up to sleep walking as well. The shower would appear bigger when he turned the water on. He hoped.
JC stripped off the clothes he’d been wearing, just a white t-shirt and boxers and nothing unrecognizable, and turned on the water. Stepping in, JC felt himself relax. Nothing was better than a hot shower in the morning. Well, maybe nothing except morning sex,but his chances of that looked shot to hell, so this was the next best thing. JC scrubbed himself with the washcloth he’d found, purposely avoiding that area so that he wouldn’t feel something that didn’t belong there. It didn’t bring him much comfort, since he kept feeling muscles that he didn’t remember having. JC grabbed the shampoo, squirting some into his hand. He reached up to run it through his hair and found...stubble. His hair was short, but it wasn’t that short. His head wasn’t shaped well enough for a buzz cut. Unless someone had pulled a prank on him, except that everyone who had a key to his place was out of town. Something was wrong.
JC got dressed and walked out to the kitchen area of the bus, where Brian was waiting with a box of cereal. “Want some Fruit Loops?” he asked, shaking the box suggestively. JC snatched the box and poured it into a bowl on the table. God, I’m apparently turning into Justin now.
“So,” Brian said, eying JC expectantly. “Were you serious about what you said last night?”
“Um..” JC stalled. Whatever it was, it sounded important, but he hadn’t the slightest idea what Brian might be talking about. Secret Backstreet stuff, probably.
“You dropped a bombshell on me last night, don’t dodge it now.”
“I’m sorry,” JC apologized. “I just..hit my head kinda hard when I fell out of bed, I’m having a little trouble remembering things.”
“You said this might be your last tour with us. You really thinking about leaving Kev?”
“I don’t..” JC scrambled for words. Kevin was leaving the Backstreet Boys? Was the group breaking up? “Maybe we should talk when I’m feeling a little better. Do you have any Tylenol? I have a major headache.”
Kevin couldn’t believe his eyes. He was...he was...JC Chasez. He couldn’t be JC Chasez, people just didn’t randomly change bodies. And how was he supposed to fix this? He couldn’t be JC, he was supposed to be in the middle of a tour. Of course if he was JC, that likely meant that JC was him and... Oh god, they were fucked. They had a show tomorrow, and JC didn’t know any of the moves. Or his parts. Or stage settings. Or...
Kevin’s thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the phone ringing. There was no way he was picking up, since he probably didn’t even know the person on the other end. He’d already pissed off one person in the mere 15 minutes he’d been awake, he didn’t need to make it two. After five rings, the answering machine picked up.
“Hey Jace, it’s Justin. Pick up, I know you’re there. C’mon man, step away from the soundboard and pick up the damn phone. JaaaayyCeeeee, don’t make me come there and kick your scrawny ass.”
“Hello?” Kevin answered, picking up the phone. He at least knew Justin, if only vaguely, so he could probably fake a short conversation with him.
“There you are,” Justin replied. “I knew you were home, not like you’ve been up to much lately.”
“Is that supposed to be an insult?” Kevin snapped, a little strung out from the morning so far.
“Whoa man chill out. Someone not get any sleep last night?”
“No, I slept, it’s just...” Kevin figured that ‘ended up in another person’s body’ wasn’t something Justin would buy, so he tried to come up with something more believable. There was that girl this morning.. “I had someone over. You know.”
“Oh man, you were about to get some? Why the hell would you pick up? Is she hot?”
“She left already.”
“Ooh, ouch dude. Sucks to be you. Did it at least not suck last night? Cause if it did, that would, well, suck.”
Kevin did not want to talk about this. Especially since he hadn’t been the one who got some last night. “Justin.”
“Alright fine, I get it, you’re not gonna kiss and tell. Or fuck and tell. Whichever. Listen, I was calling to see what you were up to. Are you free next week?”
Kevin figured things would be back to normal by next week. And since, according to Justin, JC wasn’t doing anything lately, an affirmative answer should be ok. “Yea. I think so.”
“Good, cause I wanna throw some song ideas around with you. Your place, Wednesday. I’ll call you Tuesday night and let you know what time.”
“Sounds good.” Kevin found a pen and some paper and left a note for JC with the details of Justin’s call. Now, before anyone else could throw him off guard, he needed to call the man occupying his body.
JC was startled by the sound of someone’s cell phone ringing. He crossed his fingers that it was Brian’s and he wouldn’t have to fake a concussion to anyone else.
“Kevin, you gonna answer that?” Brian shouted from the back of the bus.
JC tentatively picked up the phone, hoping it wasn’t something important. “Hello?”
“You have no idea how weird it is to hear the sound of your own voice pick up.” It was himself. Well, more than likely it was Kevin, but it sounded like himself.
“I think I do now,” JC replied. God this was weird.
“Is this really happening? I’m not imagining all this, am I?” Kevin asked.
“Only if I’m imagining it too.”
“What the hell is going on here?” Kevin asked abruptly.
“How the hell am I supposed to know? You think I don’t find this a little bit weird too? Last night I went to bed with this foxy mama, and today I wake up with Brian Littrell!” JC blurted in response.
“You were in bed with Brian?” Kevin asked, sounding a little more weirded out than before.
“I...what? No! I just meant...Whatever, you know what I meant. If I’d have woken up with Brian in my bed, I’d be a little concerned about your sanity, not mine.” JC said. “And you two are cousins, ugh.”
“You have a sick mind JC. I am tempted to just hang up right now,” Kevin said.
“Well um...I suppose you could. I mean, I’m you, you’re me, we just fake it for a while, right?” JC asked, scratching his head, but bringing his hand back down when he realized once again that he didn’t have hair.
“I’m not hanging up, because you’re on tour. And I don’t want you to screw it up. Ask to see last night’s tapes and memorize everything. Just say you want to critique it, and they won’t question a thing. I do it all the time. There isn’t a show tonight, just rehearsal, so that should buy you some time. If you mess up a show, so help me...” Kevin said, sounding a bit threatening. “Oh, and by the way,” Kevin added, changing his tone. “I scheduled you to meet with Justin on Wednesday.”
“You what? I...you know what, forget next week, I’ve just got to get through today. Shit, I’m in trouble. Let’s hope things sort themselves out tomorrow.”
“Here’s hoping.”
Brian wondered what was going on with Kevin. They didn’t hit a bump, and Kevin was usually a pretty coordinated guy. Maybe he’d been tossing and turning just as much as Brian had after his confession about wanting to leave the group. He’d wanted to ask Kevin about it this morning, but Kevin seemed to be dodging.
Three hours later, and Brian was still suspicious. Kevin had asked to borrow the tape from last night’s show and had gone to watch it, but Brian knew the tape wasn’t that long. Brian went to the TV room to see what was going on. He really hoped Kevin hadn’t sustained a serious head injury earlier that morning.
Entering that section of the bus, Brian saw that Kevin was fine, but still acting a little strangely. Kevin was dancing along with the recording, in the half-dancing way that being on a bus necessitated. They’d all done it on occasion, as tours tended to ingrain the moves into one’s brain, but usually they didn’t mess up the moves when they did.
“Um, Kevin?” Brian asked. Kevin jumped, then stumbled over himself before turning around.
“Yes?” Kevin replied, with a strange look on his face that Brian didn’t recognize.
“You seem rather..uncoordinated. Are you sure you didn’t seriously hurt yourself this morning? We can always stop and have you looked at. Skip practice tonight.”
“No!” Kevin said abruptly, startling Brian a bit. “No. I’m fine. I should really go to practice tonight. You know, make sure we look good for tomorrow.”
“Ok. But if you start feeling dizzy or anything, let me know,” replied Brian. He left Kevin to his dancing, not feeling any better than he had before interrupting.
As the bus pulled in to the hotel, Brian was thankful that they didn’t have any interviews today. The European press was acute this tour, and they’d definitely notice something was a little off with Kevin. There would be no hiding it from the other guys. At least not without avoiding them altogether. Which would never happen.
Howie caught Brian as he was getting into the elevator. “Hey,” Howie said, “I’m coming to your bus after tomorrow.”
“I dunno man, Kevin’s been kinda weird lately,” Brian replied. He wasn’t sure how he’d explain it to Howie.
“Kevin’s always weird,” said Howie.
“Well. Not weird like this. Out of the ordinary weird.”
“What’s up?”
“Not sure. He’s just...acting strange,” was the best Brian could come up with.
“Well, AJ and Nick are acting like AJ and Nick, so I’m joining your bus no matter how weird Kevin is.”
“Porn?” Brian asked.
“Yup,” replied Howie, not missing a blink.
“Well, hopefully Kevin is back to his usual self tomorrow. Goodness knows how long those two will be on a porn kick.”
Kevin went rummaging through JC’s cupboards for something for breakfast. He thankfully found a box of cinnamon Pop-Tarts, for the rest of the cupboard was otherwise bare, barring a jar of peanut butter, a few bags of popcorn, and a box of macaroni and cheese. The fridge was similarly empty; a half empty jug of milk, a jar of jelly, a six pack of beer, and some cheese. What the hell did this guy eat? Kevin was definitely going to the store this afternoon, even if he didn’t intend to be here long. JC would thank him later.
Howie had wondered if maybe Brian was the one who was being weird today and not Kevin. Brian had the tendency to worry over things that were nothing really. Today could have easily been one of those times.
Howie knew it was definitely Kevin though, when they got into rehearsal. He was missing steps left and right. And something sounded off in their harmonies. He couldn’t pinpoint it exactly, but...
“Kevin,” AJ turned and said, stopping in the middle of More Than That. “Is there a reason you’re trying to sing an octave up?”
So that’s what it was. No wonder they sounded funny. “I don’t get many solos as it is, and you’re trying to steal my parts, Kev?” Howie joked.
“Yea man,” Nick laughed along with Howie. “You know he’s too old for Menudo.” Howie punched Nick on the arm. Nick grabbed Howie and gave him a noogie.
“I um. Sorry. I guess I just. Yea. I didn’t mean to take your parts. Sorry,” Kevin mumbled.
“I was just joking Kev,” Howie replied. “You ok?” Kevin always knew when they were joking. And usually spoke in complete sentences. Brian was right. Kevin was being not-normal weird.
The next run through sounded a bit hazy, as Howie heard Kevin adjusting his vocals throughout the song. The group decided to break on the ballads for Kevin’s sake and run through something up-tempo instead. They skipped ahead to The One and casually ran through the choreography and vocals together. Howie watched Kevin out of the corner of his eye. He seemed to be a little hesitant in his moves, like he was out of practice, but was at least following along ok. It was like what they all looked like when tour rehearsals first began. Had they not just performed a sold out show the night before, Howie would’ve thought nothing of it.
Howie also caught that glint in Nick’s eye that said ‘I’m about to do something mischievous’. “Nick,” he said before Nick turned off, “what are you up to?”
“Just making Kevin more relaxed,” Nick grinned.
Howie watched as Nick crept up on Kevin, then leapt onto his back. He jumped when Kevin screamed.
“Jesus! Are you trying to break me in half?” Kevin yelled, more startled than angry.
“I’m sorry man, I was just trying to get you to ease up a little,” said Nick. He looked hurt.
“Go pick on someone your own size Nick,” Howie kidded, trying to make Nick feel better. He knew Nick wouldn’t hurt anyone on purpose. It wasn’t his fault that Kevin wasn’t in a joking mood today.
“Kevin is my own size,” Nick responded, sticking his tongue out at Howie.
“Fine, go pick on Brian. He deserves it the most,” Howie replied.
“I think I’m gonna pick on you instead,” Nick said, right before charging for Howie. Howie took off running towards backstage. Rehearsal wasn’t much productive after that.
Kevin woke up the next morning in the same bed that he had the day before. Same bare walls, same zebra stripe comforter. That meant he was still JC. Damn. And that JC was still him. Double damn. At least he’d gotten food the day before; now he wouldn’t starve on account of JC’s empty cupboards.
Kevin had just stepped out of the shower when the phone rang. “JC must not need an alarm clock,” Kevin thought. He decided to answer the phone, in case JC...Kevin...JC was calling.
“Hello?”
“Look who finally got himself out of the house.” Not JC.
“What are you talking about?” Kevin asked the guy who he suspected to be Lance Bass. There hadn’t been any award shows or major movie premieres lately, and he certainly didn’t go to any big events last night. He wondered if Lance had just called him by accident.
“Your grocery store trip. Page 15 of the National Enquirer has a picture of you and a box of Cheez-its in full color.”
Lance was calling him because he went grocery shopping. He didn’t know whether to think JC was a loser or to feel sorry for the guy. Perhaps both. “The National Enquirer? Why would they care if I went grocery shopping? And why were you reading the National Enquirer anyway? You know that magazine is nothing but crap.”
“Of course it is. That’s why I like it. I need something to laugh at every now and then. Besides, what are you worried about? What could possibly be incriminating about Cheez-its?” Lance chuckled.
“JC Chasez gets the munchies,” Kevin mused. Kevin always went for Cheez-its when he got the munchies. He probably should’ve gone for the rice cakes instead, they were healthier...
“When you get the munchies, you call for pizza. Hell, you call for pizza even when you don’t have the munchies. But seriously Jace, it’s nice to see you out and about again. You can’t mope forever.” Lance’s voice turned serious.
Kevin wasn’t sure what to say. What was JC moping about? It sure didn’t seem like the guy had been moping two days ago, judging from yesterday morning.
Lance didn’t let him think too long. “You finally getting over her?”
Ah. Kevin didn’t follow the lives of ‘N Sync much, but he did know about the breakup of JC and Eva Longoria. Hard to avoid it. To Kevin’s knowledge, that had been months ago; they must’ve been close if JC was still moping now. Two nights ago must have been rebound sex. Poor guy. Breakups sucked.
“Jace? You still there?”
“Uh, yea,” Kevin replied.
“If you ever need to talk, you know I’m here, ok?”
“Yeah. Yeah, um, I think I’m finally getting over it,” Kevin said. He hoped that was true. Otherwise he was setting JC up for a whole lot that he wasn’t prepared for.
“Good. I’ll talk to you later Jace,” Lance said, before hanging up the phone.
“Bye,” replied Kevin.
“So tomorrow..will it be Chris or Joey?” he thought.
Lance hung up the phone, and looked at the Inquirer page again. He was really glad JC was getting out, he really was, But he could’ve sworn JC hated Cheez-its. None of them liked Cheez-its. In fact, the only time he’d ever seen anyone crave Cheez-its was when he got high that one time at Nick Carter’s house. Lance shrugged it off; it probably didn’t mean anything anyway.
JC was awoken by a loud pounding on the door. “Yo!” It was AJ. “We’ve got a press conference, Johnny will kill us if we’re late!”
Press conference? Oh God. JC sucked at press conferences. And that was in his own band.
JC staggered out of the room, after throwing on whatever clothes he could find that relatively matched. Apparently Kevin wore a lot of black; that made it easy.
“So um...press conference?” JC asked tentatively, shutting the door behind him. He wanted to make it sound like it’d only just slipped his mind.
“For going gold here in Europe. Same old spiel as usual, we just get a plaque this time,” AJ shrugged. Apparently he sounded believable enough.
“You don’t think they’ll ask any original questions?” JC asked.
“Do they ever?” sneered AJ. “We just say how proud we are of the album, the tour’s going great, yes we’re enjoying Europe, and no we never broke up. Sorry man, these things get so old after a while, I hate having to get up early for one.” AJ paused. “You think we should just throw something random out there? If it’d make it more interesting, I’m all for it.”
“Well, um. I’m not..” ‘Not sure what I could say,’ was what JC was thinking. “Up to being random. Right now,” was what came out instead.
“You’re really out of it aren’t you Kev?” AJ said, throwing an arm over JC’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, you’ll get to see Kristin tomorrow. I’m sure she’ll help clear your mind.”
Kristin? Kevin’s wife Kristin? It was hard enough pretending to be a Backstreet Boy, and now he had to pretend to be married? Fuck, he needed to call Kevin. ASAP.
It was a short ride to the press conference. There were a lot of people with flash bulb cameras and notepads standing around and murmuring in German to each other. JC suspected they were all just local press, except for the guys speaking English off to one side, who he recognized as being from a magazine in the UK. They’d given him favorable reviews on Schizophrenic, and took it as a good sign that these two were here. The guys all sat at the table that had been set up for them, and JC sat in the chair marked “Kevin” with masking tape on the back. Brian was to his left, and AJ on his right.
The reporters asked a few general questions. Pretty much exactly what AJ had predicted. “Tell us about your album.” “How’s the tour going?” AJ was fiddling with his pen, clearly anxious to be doing something else. JC smiled knowingly; press conferences always bored him too.
Then the guys from the UK decided they wanted to hear ‘Kevin’ talk. “Kevin,” they said, getting JC’s rather unwanted attention. “What’s it been like having reunited with the guys? Are things the same as they were between you as before you broke up?”
JC cleared his throat. He could handle this one. “We never broke up. We were just on hiatus for while.”
All four guys turned to look at JC. ‘Shit,’ JC thought. ‘Bad choice of words.’ After three years, the term had become synonymous with ‘N Sync.
The guys turned their attention back to the reporters. AJ spoke up. “We took a short break. We’ve always been the Backstreet Boys, even when we weren’t on tour together.” JC owed him one. Hiatus, what the hell was he thinking?
After the conference, JC made it a point to call Kevin. The arena crew was setting up for sound check, and JC decided to find a remote corner to talk privately. Kevin picked up after two rings.
“Why did you not tell me your wife was coming?” JC blurted into the phone.
“Whoa, calm down JC,” Kevin replied, a little startled.
“Calm down? I’m supposed to pretend to be married! To your wife! I don’t know the first thing about being married, dude!”
“Just do whatever she says. That’s usually what I do,” Kevin replied nonchalantly.
“Kevin, I’m serious.”
“Call your friend Joey. He will tell you the exact same thing.” JC sighed. Kevin better be right, or else the guy was going to have a lot of explaining to do to his wife later. “Are you really still not over your ex?” Kevin continued.
“I...I don’t want to talk about it. Girls...you know how it is. Are you really leaving the Backstreet Boys?” JC tried to change the subject.
“I...I don’t want to talk about it,” Kevin replied.
JC sighed again. He really needed to know, if Brian was going to ask him again. “She cheated on me. For months. I found out when she did an interview where she professed her love for some basketball player. So no, I’m not over it.”
“Sorry man.” Kevin was silent for a moment. “I’m just getting tired of touring, I need a break. A real break, not like last time. The business, it wears you out. And I’d like to raise my kid and not have him only see me two weeks a year, you know?”
“Yea. So you’re leaving...permanently then?”
“No. Just for a little while. Couple years maybe.”
JC shook his head at the phone. He’d heard something like that before. “You’d be surprised how quickly a little while turns into something a lot longer.”
JC was really nervous about the concert that night. According to the schedule posted backstage, there were only a couple of shows left in the European leg of the tour, and JC didn’t want to disappoint all the fans that had come out to see the group. Especially if it was the last time they’d see the entire group together. He hated giving a less than stellar show, and the fact that he was standing in someone else’s shoes, quite literally, made the pressure even greater. JC had hoped that last night’s rehearsal would help him iron out the parts he was really screwing up on, but after Nick and Howie started running around the stage, the opportunity for serious rehearsal was pretty well shot. Not that JC wasn’t used to it; there wasn’t ever an ‘N Sync rehearsal where someone started goofing off eventually. He might’ve mourned the loss of productivity, but he didn’t really mind the interaction. Actually, it was really the only time JC’d felt comfortable since finding himself here.
Backstage he was restless, stretching, jumping up and down, and generally expending energy that he really should be conserving. Various stage staff were walking by staring. Kevin must usually be a calm guy. Nick walked by just then, slapping JC on the back. “Five minutes. Let’s go pray,” he said. JC had felt like he’d never hear those words.
JC linked hands with Nick and Brian, before AJ started them on a group prayer. “Heavenly father, we ask you to bless this show tonight...”
The word “amen” came sooner than JC was expecting. The butterflies were growing in his stomach as he could hear the roar of the crowd begin to rise. “You ready for this Kev?” Nick shouted while loosening himself up. The guys were ushered up the back of the scaffolding to the top of the awaiting staircase. The music began pulsing in JC’s earpiece, only slightly blocking out the all too familiar sounds of screams. ‘Don’t be nervous,’ JC thought. ‘Just go out and give them a show.’ JC took a deep breath and looked down towards the stairs. The glowing lights from under them reminded him of their Gone set, and the anticipation and screaming added to the sense that he’d been here before. Then the signal came in his ear: “3,2, and Go.”
JC marched down the stairs to the opening notes of The Call. The guys hit their spots at the waiting microphones all at once, and stopped, looking for a crowd response. The rise in the pitch of 20,000 people was the signal. JC began singing and moving through the first few steps of choreography. Then the guys broke, and JC began watching the other guys for cues on what to do. “Just go with the flow,” is what their body language said. AJ was leaning into the crowd singing his verse with Nick leaning into his ear for the harmony. Brian was clutching his mic in intensity, and Howie was pointing out to the crowd. JC started hopping up and down with the energy the crowd was giving him. He hit the next move with a rush. He felt the music move through him, no longer worrying about what might go wrong, and suddenly he remembered just how much fun being up on stage was.
JC had locked himself away for months when he could’ve been doing this? He vowed to himself, when he changed back, it was time to piece together the scraps of lyrics lying around his house and lay down some tracks for a new album. It was time for JC to get back to performing again.
Kevin was awakened the next morning by the sound of the phone ringing. “Dear lord, not again,” he muttered. “Why don’t JC’s friends ever call in the afternoon?”
He rolled out of the bed and picked up the phone. “Hello?”
“Hey Jace. Lance tells me you’ve actually left your house.” It was Joey. Chris must be calling tomorrow.
“It’s really not that big a deal. I went grocery shopping.” If people called at...7:30 in the morning every time JC went somewhere, Kevin understood why the guy never left his house.
“For you, that is a big deal. Seriously, we’ve all been worried about you man,” said Joey.
“Yea, that’s what Lance said too,” Kevin replied in a raspy voice.
“Did I wake you up?” Joey asked.
“Yes.”
“Score! My four year old woke me up at 5:30 this morning, someone else ought to get an unwanted wake up call.”
“I know how that goes,” replied Kevin. He couldn’t count the number of times he’d been woken up, much earlier than 5:30 even, by Morgan. Gotta love your kids, but sometimes, love really ought to wait until the sun’s up.
“Dude, you must really be up early. You don’t know how that goes. Usually you’re coherent enough to remember that you uh, don’t have children. At least last I checked. You’re not trying to tell me something are you Jace? Please tell me you don’t have kids. I don’t know if the world could handle two of you.”
Ah shit. He couldn’t believe he let that slip. “No. No, Joey, I don’t have kids. I’m just not coherent this early in the morning.”
“Yea, I know. I think we figured that one out a long time ago. And I also know that you’re probably going to go back to sleep as soon as I hang up.”
“Probably,” Kevin replied. That was close.
“Bye Jace. Don’t make me call you again.”
“Bye.” Trying to be someone else you knew little about was tough. And that was only for the few minutes of the day that people called JC’s house. He couldn’t imagine how tough JC had it right now, living in his place, nearly the entire span of the day.
“I’m bored,” said Howie. He was sprawled on the couch, while Brian sat at the dining table booth, and Kevin was leaning against the refrigerator door. It was a 13 hour ride from Nuremberg to Barcelona, and Brian had already tired of all the movies they had in their bus collection. A day off was nice, but not when you were trapped in a 50 foot space with nothing to do.
“Yea, me too,” Brian agreed. “You got any ideas Kev?” he asked, casually glancing up at Kevin. Kevin still didn’t seem quite like himself, but he looked a lot more relaxed today than he had a couple days ago.
“Not really. Unless we’ve got any good games lying around.” Kevin shrugged.
“We’ve got Uno,” said Howie.
“Sounds fun. Something better than standing around,” said Kevin. “Get it out.”
“No way, Howie cheats at Uno,” Brian replied.
“Do not,” retorted Howie.
“How the hell do you cheat at Uno?” Kevin asked.
“Whatever, let’s play. Anyone else hungry too?” Brian said, getting up from his spot at the booth to grab a box from the cupboards above him.
Howie dealt out the cards, Brian eyeing him carefully to make sure he wasn’t slipping extra cards into everyone else’s hand. Brian placed the box of Cheez-its on the table, digging his hand in for a bunch.
“Oh sweet, Cheez-its!” Howie grabbed the box off the table and dug in as well. “You want some Cheez-its Kevin?”
“I hate Cheez-its,” Kevin said.
Brian had judged wrong. Kevin was definitely still weird in a not normal way. Normal Kevin would never turn down Cheez-its, even if he’d just eaten a full meal. “Since when?” Brian exclaimed. “You were the one who had these brought over here from America. Are you alright Kevin?”
Kevin didn’t say anything. Brian and Howie stared at him in anticipation. Something was wrong, it had to be. Brian started to get a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.
“Um. Just kidding,” Kevin said, though it sounded more tentative than it should have. It was enough for Brian to hear, for the moment at least. Brian exhaled the breath he didn’t know he was holding. Kevin had him more on edge the past few days than he realized. Was he really that worried over a box of snack crackers?
Howie passed Kevin the box. Kevin took out only a few, giving a weird smile as he did so. ‘Stop worrying,’ Brian thought to himself. ‘It’s nothing, it’s just Cheez-its. He’s probably not very hungry. Quit thinking about it and play the game.’
Brian picked up his hand. He looked at his cards, then at the card lying on the table. Perfect. “Draw two Howie.”
Surprisingly, Chris didn’t call to wake Kevin up on his fourth morning in JC’s house. Chris probably realized that it wasn’t such a big deal. Kevin was sure Chris knew about it at least, the way Joey and Lance were quick about things. Chris also probably had the good sense to wait until a decent hour to make phone calls.
Kevin really wasn’t sure if going out was the best idea, so he decided to explore JC’s house instead. As eclectic and flamboyant as JC’s closet was (it took half an hour for Kevin to find something normal to wear), Kevin expected the house to be dashed with color and odd wall hangings. The decorating was instead rather sparse, a table here, a sofa there, and a couple of impressionist paintings on the wall. There was a home theater, which looked like the most lived in place in the whole house, being the first room Kevin had seen that was not pristinely clean. Kevin couldn’t imagine being holed up here for months like JC had been; not unless the dry cleanliness was the maid’s doing.
When Kevin made his way to the basement, he finally realized where JC had been spending all his time. A fully functioning studio had been set up in JC’s basement, complete with soundboard, microphone, guitars, electric drum set, and a keyboard. Papers and notebooks were strewn everywhere, bits of songs scattered about JC’s floor. He’d heard JC was a bit of a studio rat, now he supposed it was true.
Usually home studios weren’t much, just a place to lay down ideas, but this one was far beyond that. It had the marks of someone with a true creative bug, an itch to make music as it came to him. Kevin couldn’t resist sitting down at the controls. Something about it drew him in. He ran his fingers over the various knobs and switches, mentally reciting what each one did. Then Kevin’s eyes turned to the keyboard. He’d been on tour for so long, he hadn’t had the chance to sit down at a piano and let something flow.
Kevin moved from the chair and walked over to the keyboard, careful not to disturb any of the papers lying around. He switched on the keyboard and sat at the bench, letting his fingers rest on the keys. Kevin let out a deep breath, and allowed his fingers to move wherever they felt. A melody Kevin wasn’t sure he recognized sprung from the keyboard. Kevin knew at that moment, that this would not be a part of what he would leave behind to be with his family. He was like JC, in a way. The music flowed through him.
Kevin smiled. Perhaps things weren’t so different after all, on the other end of the great boyband divide.
“Hey honey,” said Kristin, bursting through the hotel doors in Barcelona and planting a kiss on JC’s lips. JC knew this was coming. He’d been mentally preparing himself for the last 3 days for her arrival. He’d grilled Brian about how things were going with Leighanne, until he was sure Brian wished he would move to AJ and Nick’s bus. Of course, Brian had in turn asked about Kevin’s marriage; questions which JC tried to deflect or at least give undetailed answers like “You know, the usual.” Howie had taken to giving him weird looks when it appeared like he didn’t want to talk about ‘his’ wife. JC distracted both of them by instituting numerous games of Uno. He might actually have stopped Howie from cheating by the time they’d played enough.
All the answers he’d got from Brian and telling himself that he’d be fine over and over still weren’t enough to prepare him for her actually being there. It was one thing thinking about, it was a whole other to be kissed by another man’s wife, she believing it was her husband. It certainly didn’t help that he wasn’t entirely fond of women right now.
“It’s uh, it’s good to see you. I’ve got a press conference to get to right now though, I’ll see you later. Um, ok?” It was the truth at least. Nothing like a busy schedule to deflect awkward situations.
“I will. And we’re not the only ones in town right now, so I’m dragging you out tonight. I hope the boys don’t mind.”
Crowds. Good. “Sounds great. I haven’t been out in a while.” Also the truth, thankfully. JC rushed off before he could think much more about it. He wouldn’t be able to deflect her forever, but he could at least let the tour schedule work for him now.
“You almost ready to go?” JC asked, after having changed from the night’s concert. He was hoping to cut down his and Kristin’s private time, so things would be less likely to get awkward.
“Yea, almost,” Kristin replied. “I’m just not sure whether I should go for the black purse, or the blue one. I know it’s silly, but I want to look nice out with you and...it’s really not much use asking you, is it?”
“Take the black one,” JC suggested. “It matches your outfit better.” Blue never seemed to go much with anything anyway.
“Um, thanks. When did you become a fashion expert on me?” she asked. It sounded more like she was flirting than being suspicious. Good, but still slightly awkward.
“Must be Europe rubbing off on me I guess,” JC replied, hoping that sounded flirty enough. He felt slightly guilty about it, but he was sure Kevin would understand.
“So uh, your wife and I went out last night,” JC said.
“Yea, I saw this morning on the internet,” Kevin replied, as he munched on the slowly emptying box of Cheez-its from his infamous shopping trip.
“You’re internet-stalking me?” JC asked.
“I’m keeping up with you guys just in case something that you guys did comes up in conversation. It’s not stalking. How’d it go?”
“Not as awkward as it could have been. She got kinda flirty with me after I suggested which purse she should bring,” JC said nonchalantly.
“You offered my wife purse advice?” Kevin asked suspiciously.
“Yeah. I mean, well, I figure since you’ve worn skirts and all, that it wouldn’t make a difference...”
“It’s not the same.”
“But-“ JC started.
“Trust me. It’s not.”
There was a long pause from both of them.
“We can’t keep doing this forever,” Kevin said.
“Agreed,” JC replied.
“There’s got to be something we can do, right? These things don’t just happen. You haven’t been hanging around any witch doctors lately have you?”
“I haven’t been hanging around anyone lately, cat. Oh! What if..what if we have do something for each other, like something important?!”
“Do something for each other?”
“Yea, you know, like that show, with the dude from Star Trek.”
“William Shatner?” Kevin asked, raising an eyebrow.
“No no no, not him, the guy from Enterprise,” JC explained.
“Sorry, JC, I don’t watch Star Trek.”
“Seriously? You should man. Classic television. Anyway, so like, this guy-“
“Star Trek guy?"
“Yea, him. He was on this other show where he like, went back in the past into other people’s bodies and had to change somebody’s life so he could leave. What if it’s like that? You help me out, I help you out, then we both change back.”
“Can’t hurt I guess. What are you thinking we have to help each other with?”
JC paused for a moment. “It’s got to be something big. I mean like, maybe I’m supposed to tell your group that I- that you’re leaving.”
“I scheduled you to record with Justin on Wednesday. Maybe that’s what I have to do for you.”
“Has to be. Justin and I haven’t recorded together since... Since. Well.”
Kevin knew what JC meant. He could tell by the disappointment in his voice. “He’ll want to do it more than once, I’m sure. You’ll get to record with him as you after we switch back.”
“I hope. Thanks.”
“You’re welcome. And good luck. I’m almost glad it’s you and not me who has to break the news.”
Justin arrived Wednesday morning as promised. Kevin was a little worried about what Justin was expecting to write. He’d heard both Justin’s and JC’s solo albums, and they sounded nothing alike. Unless they were writing for a newly reunited ‘N Sync, Kevin had no idea how their styles would blend. Or how he was supposed to make them blend.
“Hey JC,” Justin said as he came through the door, proceeding to give Kevin a man hug. “You ready to get it the studio? I mean, I know it’s been a little while...”
“Yeah, I’m ready. And um, no worries. Not like we haven’t recorded together before,” Kevin replied. Justin hadn’t sounded that tentative on the phone last week. It must have been a while since they had seen each other in person. It wouldn’t entirely surprise Kevin. But Kevin was determined not to let this become awkward. For his sake, for Justin’s sake, and for JC’s. “C’mon, studio’s in the basement. You’ll have to forgive my mess.”
Justin shook his head. “I’ve seen your studio, man. Unless you’ve turned an animal loose down there, it can’t be any worse than I’ve already seen.”
Kevin led Justin to the basement studio. Justin didn’t say anything else on the way down. Kevin wondered if the awkward silence was just because of him, or because of something that had happened between JC and Justin earlier.
The tension was cut when Kevin opened the door. “Oh yeah, I’ve seen worse,” Justin laughed. Justin pulled a tape out of his pocket that was marked ‘JC beats’. “I saw the lyrics for your song. You were saying that weren’t sure what kind of music it should have, so I made a couple beat tracks. Just background stuff. Let me know what you like and we can start from there. That uh, that sound good?”
“Lyrics? Oh, yeah. I’m just...not sure I can find them in this mess,” Kevin replied, looking around for something that stuck out. JC hadn’t mentioned that he’d already given Justin lyrics.
“Thought you’d say that. That’s why I printed them off,” Justin said, producing a printed copy of an email. Kevin read through the page to see what JC had written. It wasn’t a full song just yet, just a series of lines that JC had noted should be included somewhere. Justin had written on the page as well, but the only thing Kevin could decipher were the arrows directing lyrics to be moved around. It was a good thing that JC had typed his portion; if JC’s handwriting was as bad as Justin’s he would’ve had to make something else up entirely.
Justin put the tape into the tape deck. The sound coming from the speaker sounded like a typical drum and base rhythm. So did the second track. And the third. Kevin thought that JC would’ve been tired of techntronic backbeats by now, after being stuck with it by their record companies in the early days. Kevin looked at the lyric sheet again. This song was way too bitter for techno.
“I’m really not feeling any of these,” Kevin said. It might be JC’s song, but he didn’t want it to suck. “Not the right mood.”
“You said you were thinking up-tempo,” Justin replied.
“Yeah, just not that kind of up-tempo.” Kevin eyed the keyboard. That’s what the song needed. Kevin moved from the panel, across the sea of paper, to the bench at the keyboard. He flipped on the switch and played a quick scale to warm up. “Read me some of the lyrics again,” he instructed Justin.
“Can you help me understand why you would keep me while you’re sexing with another man,” Justin read. “That good or you want me to keep going?”
“Nah, that’s good. So this girl, she’s creeping around right? What about having a creeping baseline?” Kevin played a slow descending progression on the keyboard. It sounded sort of like something to accompany sneaking in an old gumshoe film.
“Yeah man, I like that! How about a guitar or something on the off beats? Give it a little extra emphasis,” Justin said. He picked up the electric guitar JC had leaning against the wall and plugged it in to a nearby amp. “Play it again.”
Kevin played the baseline again. Justin strummed a note on the off beats, adding the emphasis Justin suggested it would. This fit so much better than anything techtronic, letting the music tell the same story the lyrics did. They’d be sure to add some riffs and melodies as it flowed.
“You think we should lay this down?” Justin asked excitedly.
“Yeah. Let’s tinker around with the music a little more, figure out where to add in some drums. I like where this is going. We can play around with the lyrics some other day.”
Justin smiled a toothy smile. “I don’t know why we didn’t do this sooner Jace. I’d forgotten how much fun it was getting in the studio with you.”
It took JC until the boys arrived back in America to work up the courage to tell them Kevin was leaving. He spent the entire duration of the flight home trying to think of the best way to deliver the news. He knew how hard it was to hear something like that. He’d been on the receiving end of it. Twice.
He’d called an unofficial band meeting before the guys broke away from each other for the after-tour Thanksgiving holiday break. It was his last opportunity until the AMAs ten days away, and JC didn’t wish to stay as Kevin for that long. Especially since he’d be expected to spend those ten days alone with Kristin. That scared him far more than a serious conversation with the Backstreet Boys did.
They met at Nick’s house, since he was the only one who had someone stock food for him before he came home. Nick had already dumped one, maybe two, boxes of Cheez-its into a bowl before their arrival. JC scowled. What was it with these guys and Cheez-its?
JC sat down on the couch and began wringing his hands. Brian looked at him with a knowing look in his eye. The others were attacking the Cheez-its and trying to toss them into each other’s mouths.
“I’m leaving the group,” JC blurted. So much for all the building up he had planned to do. The look on Brian’s face didn’t change much. The other three froze immediately, AJ dropping the Cheez-it from his hand. The shock was evident on their faces.
“You’re leaving? After all we’ve been through as a group?” Nick said, a sense of urgency coming through.
JC took a deep breath and tried to recall exactly what Kevin had told him. “Not forever. I just need a break. A real break, not like last time. And I want my kid to see me more than two weeks a year, you know?” There, that sounded fairly familiar. Everyone in the room went silent.
AJ spoke up first. “Hey Kev, if you’re doing this for your family, we understand. They’re important to you. We know this business isn’t everything.”
Brian reached out to put his arm around JC. “And you’re always welcome to come back, anytime.”
“We’ll miss you Kev,” said Howie. Brian moved first, followed by the rest of the guys, to embrace JC in a group hug. That hadn’t been what he was expecting. He was expecting some yelling, some disappointment, maybe even some tears. He hadn’t expected hugging. He had hardly even said anything. Yet they understood. He’d sensed that these guys were tight while on tour, but now he realized just how close they all were. JC wondered why he’d waited so long to have this conversation. By this time tomorrow, JC believed everything would be back to normal.
Part 2