Thy Kingdom Come- Chapter 11-12
Louis flopped an arm over Felix in his sleep. Now that they had a big bed to share, Felix noticed that Louis liked to sprawl out when he slept. Felix was debating whether it was annoying or adorable.
“Louis,” said Felix, prodding at his arm.
“No, I don’t wanna get up,” mumbled Louis, pulling Felix a little tighter. Adorable was currently winning.
Felix eyed the clock. 0400, which meant he didn’t need to be up for at least another half an hour. Felix closed his eyes and snuggled in closer.
“I love you,” Louis mumbled.
Felix’s eyes shot open. He rolled over slightly to see if Louis was awake. Louis’ eyes were closed, his head resting on the pillow, his mouth slightly open. A minute later he began to snore. He’d definitely been more than half-asleep when he said it. Felix wondered if Louis would even remember when he woke up.
Felix certainly wasn’t going back to sleep now. Louis had just said “I love you” without any warning whatsoever and Felix had no idea how to respond. “I love you too” would be the logical response, but did he? Felix wasn’t sure.
It’d be an early morning, but Felix couldn’t bring himself to stay. He crept out of bed and made his way to the showers.
“Hey Felix, what’s going on?” asked Dee as he walked into the CIC. “You don’t have a stupid grin on your face like you’ve had every day for the last week. Something wrong?”
“No,” replied Felix, his eyes anywhere but on Dee. He didn’t want her prying, it still felt too personal just yet.
“Louis seems his usual perky self, so you guys definitely aren’t fighting,” surmised Dee. Felix started to walk towards his station, but Dee followed. Felix felt her lean in close. “Did he tell you he loves you and you don’t know what to say?”
“Dee, can we not talk about this right now?” Felix asked under his breath.
“Oh my gods, he did!” Dee squeaked. Felix was going to kill her. “Felix, you’re such a chickenshit! You know you love him! All that time you spend making doe eyes at him, I know it’s not just because you think he’s cute.”
“I do not make doe eyes at him.” The CIC was not the appropriate place to be having this conversation, Felix thought. The Admiral was watching, not to mention Louis was standing ten feet away. Apparently none of this was phasing Dee.
“Oh please. You’re pretty much an open book when it comes to Louis. The entire ship knows the two of you have been getting laid on a daily basis.” Usually more than once daily. Not that Felix was about to admit that in the middle of the CIC.
“Can we not discuss my sex life in front of the Admiral?” Felix whispered.
“You two!” Colonel Tigh barked. “Back to work!” Felix breathed a sigh of relief.
“Tell him you love him!” Dee whispered before scurrying off. Felix wished it were that easy.
After his shift ended, Felix needed a way he could avoid Louis for a little while. Judging by Louis’ demeanor all day, he hadn’t remembered a damn thing. If he went back to their quarters now, Louis was certainly going to ask him what was going on. Felix didn’t want to talk about it, because he knew it was only going to make things awkward for the both of them.
Thankfully, a distraction came easily, in the form of Colonel Tigh. The Colonel had been acting bizarrely ever since Baltar’s trial. He’d definitely been drinking more, though that was dismissible. Every now and again he’d look around the room as if he were hearing things. Felix also noticed that Admiral Adama would sometimes ask him if he was alright, which usually didn’t happen merely when Tigh had been drinking.
Colonel Tigh had never been a particularly great XO, but he seemed even less competent now. Felix wasn’t worried about Tigh declaring marshal law again anytime soon, but it appear that the Colonel was going to snap. Tigh didn’t even seem to have the confidence in himself these days. Felix would occasionally catch him stealing weird looks at Admiral Adama, and he seemed to be tiptoeing around the CIC, as if someone was going to call him on something and order him to hand over his pins. Officers usually got that way when an inspection by the Admiral of the Fleet was imminent, but that certainly wasn’t anything anyone was worried about now.
Most oddly, he’d been seen sneaking off to the gym on a number of occasions in the last week. If Felix had to surmise, Colonel Tigh had probably stopped going to the gym thirty years ago.
Felix was following him there now. He kept a safe distance, so it wouldn’t be too obvious he was following, though it was really more precaution than he needed. Usually people would say hello when you walked through the halls on Galactica, but in both Felix’s and Tigh’s case, a salute was all they would offer, Felix because he was a cylon and Tigh because he was XO.
Colonel Tigh turned down the hallway to go to the gym, carefully peering in every direction to make sure no one was watching. Felix had never seen the Colonel so paranoid. Felix debated going into the gym after him. He decided against it, since it would be too obvious he’d been following Colonel Tigh. Felix never went to the gym either.
Later that night, Felix was still debating what was going on. Did Baltar’s trial trigger memories of his torture on New Caprica? Was the ghost of his dead wife haunting him? Was old age bringing about senility?
“Baby, what’s going on?” asked Louis. “You’ve been out of it all day today.”
“Have you noticed anything strange about Colonel Tigh lately?” asked Felix, Louis’ subconscious confession no longer his primary concern.
“Yeah, he’s been acting weirdly, but I’m told he’s a drunk, so I didn’t think much of it,” Louis said with a shrug.
“He is, but he usually gets angry when he’s drunk, not secretive,” explained Felix.
“Well, I suppose you know him better than I do.” Louis took off his tanks, then tugged on the hem of Felix’s urging him to do the same. Louis kissed him at the nape of his neck and began pulling Felix’s tanks up himself. Clearly he was trying to distract Felix from conversation, but Felix wasn’t having it.
“He’s paranoid, distracted, keeps sneaking off places, and seems really unsure of himself, kind of like when he was in charge of Galactica, pretending he’s competent when he’d really like to hide in a corner. I mean, I know I-“ Felix stopped. A thought crossed his mind, one he never would have believed if someone had simply told him. One he didn’t want to believe. There had been stories, back on the baseship, about five who were not ever to be spoken of. Felix figured they had been a tactic used by the Ones to scare the other models into voting his way. But perhaps they were true.
The secrecy, the paranoia, the self-doubt. Felix recognized the behavior because that had been exactly how he had acted on New Caprica.
Colonel Tigh was a cylon.
It was a little strange to be visiting Colonel Tigh’s private quarters, given their history of mutual dislike, but Felix found it necessary. Felix doubted anyone besides him knew about Colonel Tigh, and if he didn’t step in, the Colonel would end up driving himself mad. The only close friend Tigh seemed to have around the ship was Adama, and if he ever shared anything, that friendship would be quickly over. Plus, if Tigh was a cylon as he suspected, someone needed to assess him, quickly. If the Colonel had some sort of latent programming, it could spell disaster for the entire fleet. Felix didn’t know what he’d be looking for, but he had a feeling he’d know it when he saw it.
“What brings you here?” growled the Colonel. “Our FTL spinners aren’t acting up I hope.”
“No, Sir,” replied Felix. “I wanted to ask you…” Felix paused and cleared his throat. “To ask you how long you’ve known, Sir.”
Colonel Tigh gave him a skeptical look with his one eye. “I don’t know what you’re referring to Lieutenant Gaeta.”
“That you’re a cylon, Sir,” Felix stated matter-of-factly. If the Colonel didn’t start shouting about now, he’d know he was correct.
“Do you realize what you’re accusing me of?” asked Colonel Tigh, fairly calmly. Felix had his answer.
“I’m a cylon, Sir. I know the signs.”
Colonel Tigh looked like he was about to protest, then changed his mind. “You tell no one.”
“Understood,” said Felix.
“I’m not going to turn on this ship,” said Tigh, standing straight and proud. “I am still Saul Tigh, and I am still the XO of this ship. I swore an oath, and I intend to defend that oath until the day I die.”
‘You say that now,’ thought Felix. Then he mentally stopped himself. He’d risen above his programming. Why couldn’t Colonel Tigh? Of course, Felix had found out too late to realize he’d been doing anything. Maybe the Colonel was a ticking time bomb. Or perhaps these mythical yet apparently real “final five” were a different breed of cylon. Felix had certainly never seen any Colonel Tigh copies walking around the baseship. He wanted to give Tigh the benefit of the doubt. But Felix had little faith in his own species, so he decided he should at least ask a few questions that might help to decide things.
“Have there ever been times when you blacked out and woke up later not realizing how much time had passed?” That was a dumb question, Felix realized immediately after asking it. Tigh drank a lot, of course he would have blacked out before. “When alcohol wasn’t involved?” he added.
“No. Never,” said Colonel Tigh.
“Can you remember being on the baseship, and perhaps how long ago that was?” Felix asked.
“The only time I’ve ever seen the inside of a cylon ship was when Starbuck brought that frakking raider on board. I don’t remember before, I just know there was a before,” Tigh barked at him.
That was strange. Felix got all his memories back about “before” the second he’d woken up in a resurrection tub. Then again, Colonel Tigh hadn’t died, so that might explain the lack of memory. But if he hadn’t died, and if no one had come up and told him, how the frak did he figure it out?
“How did you figure out you were a cylon?” Felix inquired.
“It was that frakking nebula,” Tigh growled. “And this music. Over and over we kept hearing it. Then we hit that frakking nebula and it just clicked. I’m a cylon. And I’m from Earth.”
Earth. Apparently Tigh actually was losing his mind in addition to being a cylon. “You’ve been to Earth?”
“I can’t explain it Gaeta, I just know it!” Tigh snapped.
“And who is we?” Felix asked, wondering who else Tigh was referring to that had heard music.
“Tory Foster. Anders. Tyrol.”
He had to be kidding. The leaders of the New Caprican resistance were all cylons? Of course, their source had been a cylon too, so why not? Maybe it just took a cylon to beat the cylons. If that were true, then Tigh and the others being cylons might be the best thing to happen to the fleet yet. But Felix wasn’t too quick to jump to conclusions. Especially since they seemed to be short one person.
“I’ve always heard it was supposed to be the final five. Who’s the fifth?”
“I don’t know. It’s just been us four,” said Tigh.
That didn’t ease Felix’s mind. “Are you aware of each other as cylons, or are you just surmising?” Felix asked.
“We’ve had meetings,” replied Tigh.
The gym. The perfect place to make sure no one would walk in on you, given that absolutely no one was gaining weight since the incorporation of the all-algae diet. Felix decided he should check out one of these meetings, to see what was being said. It might give him a better idea of whether or not to trust them than simply talking to Colonel Tigh.
“Are you done questioning me?” Tigh asked.
“For now,” said Felix. “Have a good day Colonel.” He’d do more investigating later. He needed to. The future of the fleet was in his hands.
Again.
Chapter 12
Magic. That had to be how Louis was able to do that with his hands. Magic.
“Felix?” Louis whispered seductively in his ear.
“Mmmm?” Felix purred.
“Your spine is glowing.”
Felix smiled. “I know. Don’t stop.” Louis was chuckling at him and the stupid grin on his face, Felix knew it. He also didn’t care.
Louis ran his thumbs in small circles at the base of Felix’s neck. It was a great stress reliever, not to mention on incredible turn-on. He could feel the warmth in his spine concentrating in that particular spot. Louis slowly worked his thumbs down Felix’s spine, perhaps to toy with him and see just how his spine would respond. Not that Felix minded any- anytime Louis and his magic hands did their work, Felix might as well have been a puddle of goo at Louis’ feet.
“You know I offered to do this because I could tell you were stressed. So are you going to tell me what was bothering you, or have I lost you already?”
Felix just moaned.
“Yeah I thought so.”
Louis took his hands off him. “Hey, why did you stop?” Felix asked indignantly.
“Because I want you to tell me what’s wrong. You can melt into my arms later.” Louis was giving him the puppy dog eyes. Great. Just as it was getting good.
“Colonel Tigh is a cylon. Now, can we get back to where we left off?”
Louis just stared at him. “Colonel Tigh. Is a cylon?”
“Yes.” Now it was Felix’s turn to give the puppy dog eyes.
Louis wasn’t buying it. “Does the Admiral know?”
“Not yet,” sighed Felix, disappointed that his backrub was over. “I need more information. He’s one of the final five, I know that much. But the ‘final five’ were such an enigma around the baseship that I honestly thought they were just a myth.”
“And now?” asked Louis.
“Well, I know they exist. And Tigh claims they’re from Earth, which I’m really not so sure about,” said Felix, shaking his head. “I’m not sure they’re cylons in the same way I’m a cylon. A different breed or something. Sort of like the difference between Capricans and Sagitarrons, I suppose. Like I said, I need more information.”
“I’m still not sure you should be keeping this secret, Felix,” said Louis. “I mean, Colonel Tigh is one of the most powerful people in the fleet. It could be dangerous.”
Felix had certainly thought about that. But it still didn’t seem right to pass immediate judgment, especially given his own past.
“Do you trust me, Louis?” Felix asked.
“Of course I trust you,” replied Louis, a little taken aback. “You know I-“
Felix silenced him. “Then trust me on this, okay? I need more time. Because you’re right about one thing, Louis. Colonel Tigh is an important man- too powerful to simply send out an airlock.”
Louis sighed. “Alright. But I hope you know what you’re doing.”
Inwardly, Felix hoped he did too.
Felix entered the gym right behind Colonel Tigh. He hadn’t gotten the signal for the meeting, but after he saw Tigh starting to sneak off after shift, he knew just where the man was going. Tigh seemed scared to actually chase Felix off, as though Felix would reveal his secret if he said anything. So Felix simply followed.
Tory Foster and Chief Tyrol were already waiting. They weren’t happy to see him.
“What is he doing here?” demanded Tory.
“Lady, he’s the least of your worries,” replied Tigh.
“I heard there were refreshments,” said Felix, trying to lighten the mood. “Did someone bring the cookies and punch?”
Tyrol and Tory just glared at him.
“No?” said Felix. “Oh c’mon, what’s a meeting without cookies and punch? ”
“Look, Gaeta, you have no idea what it’s like-“ began the Chief, running a hand over his head. He appeared twitchy, which was definitely beyond unusual for the Chief. If Felix had been a deckhand, he probably would have picked up on his cylonhood even quicker than he had with Tigh.
“I know exactly what it’s like,” Felix interrupted him. “That’s why I’m here. I know it sucks. But it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re just like them.”
“You mean like us,” said Tory.
“I mean like them,” Felix corrected. “Circuits and computer chips, that’s only part of the picture.”
No one looked convinced. Least of all Tory, who looked ready to tear him down. Either she’d picked that up from Roslin or she had been the perfect fit for the president to begin with. Felix made a mental note not to get on her bad side.
“So what do you guys do in these meetings? Play ice breakers? Tell ghost stories? Fold paper cranes?” Felix asked.
“Has anyone found out yet?” asked Tigh, pointedly ignoring him. “Besides the obvious.”
“No,” replied both Tory and Tyrol.
“Good,” replied Tigh with a firm nod.
“What, that’s it?” Felix asked, wondering if they could possibly be serious. Regular secret meetings just to find out if no one else knew? They definitely were a different breed of cylon. None of Felix’s type had ever been that oblivious.
It was quite obvious Felix was not going to get any information here. He’d talk to Tigh again alone later. Possibly Chief as well, if Felix could get him on a good day. To think he’d passed up quality time with Louis for this.
“You all are no fun. Have a nice meeting.”
“So?” asked Louis.
“Most useless meeting ever,” replied Felix.
Louis laughed. “They must have all been CEOs in their former lives.” Louis wrapped his arms around Felix’s waist, pressing his front to Felix’s back. “As I understand it,” he said. “I believe there may have been a backrub interrupted in the recent past that may need resuming.”
Felix grinned.
“I’m not sure why humans would want to make a game out of lying,” said Caprica, scanning her cards that were taped to the glass of her cell. It wasn’t the most practical way of teaching someone triad, all standing outside Caprica’s cell with an extra speaker attached to the phone so the three of them could hear her talk all at once, but given that Caprica was their first cylon on board Galactica not to be equipped with knowledge of the game, Felix felt the need to indoctrinate her. If she planned on sticking around, she’d need to know sometime.
“Nobody gets hurt by it. Well, except maybe their bank accounts,” said Louis. “Felix, hand me a card from the deck would you?”
The four of them, Felix, Louis, Caprica, and Dee, all looked ridiculous standing there, Felix was sure, but that was becoming part of the fun. The marine guard had recently switched from befuddlement to amusement, and was starting to look like he might ask to join them sometime soon. Felix was considering a side bet on whether he would.
“I’m still not sure I get it,” said Caprica. “Though I’ve found that humans aren’t always a rational species.”
“Rationality would really spoil the fun,” said Louis. “I call and raise you five.” As Felix and Caprica had no money to begin with, and Dee and Louis had very little left, little use as it was, the four of them were betting with Triad chips. Despite the fact that he was playing nice for teaching purposes, Felix’s stack was still substantially larger than anyone else’s. Being a cylon made him an excellent bluffer.
“I think I’m going to call,” said Caprica, eying the cards taped to the window. Felix tossed a chip from her stack into the pile.
“I fold,” said Dee tossing her cards on the table that Felix and Louis had finagled from the rec room. “Hey Felix,” she said, now less than interested in the game, as Dee tended to get when she didn’t have an active hand, “I heard a rumor that Captain Kelly was sent on the Demetrius mission and isn’t in the brig anymore.”
“Oh?” asked Felix, folding as well. He hadn’t been looking forward to the day Kelly was out of jail, but if the rumor was true, Felix wasn’t about to complain.
“It’s true,” said Caprica, now studying Louis to see if he was bluffing. “I heard one of the marines mention it. He said spending two months on a sewage ship seemed like a good punishment to him.” Felix chuckled, as did Dee and Louis. Punishment was a good word for having to be a part of that mission. “I just don’t see how it’s just,” Caprica added.
Felix cleared his throat. “I think the system of punishment around here isn’t based on justice so much as it is on usefulness. They aren’t going to keep you in jail if they need you for something. Like um, it’s why Colonel Tigh has never spent time in the brig, even when he probably should have.”
“Are you saying they needed Gaius for something, then?” Caprica asked.
Felix shrugged. Dee scowled. “Raise you ten,” said Louis.
Caprica was no longer paying attention to her cards. “Are you saying that I could be set free if they find me useful?” Caprica asked after giving it some thought.
Felix pondered her question. Had he gotten out of prison simply because the fleet needed another cylon intelligence agent? Or because they’d needed another body in the CIC? “I don’t know,” said Felix. “That’s the other thing about not actually following military procedure. It gets unpredictable.”
“Felix,” said Louis.
“Huh?” asked Felix. He hadn’t been paying attention to much anything since the middle of their Triad game earlier. He wasn’t even sure how he’d managed to get back to the Agathon quarters without running into a wall or something along the way. Felix had always thought his role in the New Caprican resistance had been his ticket out of jail, but perhaps he had been wrong. And if he had, did his freedom still mean the same thing?
“Stop it,” ordered Louis with a stern glare.
“Stop what?” Felix asked him. Louis shot Felix his classic “oh please” look. It was one Felix had quickly accustomed to seeing, particularly when Louis was around some of the not so bright officers that had flunked their way down to the Galactica before the attacks.
“You did not get out of jail simply because you were useful,” said Louis. “If all the Admiral was using you for was intelligence, he wouldn’t have needed you out of jail for that. Quit degrading yourself.”
They’d had this discussion a number of times. Felix would normally give in, but not this time, not now. Felix wanted Louis to understand that not everyone saw things like he did. Maybe it didn’t matter to Louis what he was, but the rest of the universe wasn’t so species-blind. “I’m a cylon, Louis. One of them, one of the enemy. You honestly think that’s not going through the minds of everyone out there every time they talk to me, ask me to do things? Whether they should be trusting me or not?”
“Good gods, Felix,” said Louis, rolling his eyes. “You don’t give yourself enough credit! No, I don’t think it’s going through everyone’s minds that you’re a cylon. I certainly don’t think about it. I doubt most people on this ship give it much thought either. You look human, you walk, talk, and act human, exactly what is there to remind people that you’re not?”
“How about the fact that there were multiple copies of me torturing people on New Caprica?” Felix spat at him.
“A year ago?” Louis spat back. “That’s the first thing that’s coming to people’s minds? Not you in that Colonial uniform you have on, not you saving our asses with that super firewall, not you playing Triad in the mess hall? They’re all thinking about torture when they’re laughing at your jokes, are they?”
“You ever think it might just be a cover up?” Felix yelled at him.
“You ever think some people might actually be genuine?” Louis yelled back. “When the frak did you become some sort of conspiracy theorist? Newsflash Felix: the whole universe is not out to get you! Maybe you like this whole ‘lone wolf, me against the world’ thing, in which case, I don’t see what you’re keeping me around for. I’m not gonna be your godsdamn sidekick in this, Felix! Either get with it or get lost. I don’t want to deal with your bullshit anymore!”
“My bullshit?” Felix taunted. “First you tell me you love me, and now you’ve had enough?”
Louis stopped. “I what?”
Frak. Despite his anger, Felix realized instantly that now had been just about the worst time to bring that up. He hadn’t even intended on telling Louis in the first place, let alone as something to use against him. “You told me you loved me,” he whispered, ashamed.
“When?” asked Louis, stunned.
Felix felt the tension he didn’t realize was building release, and shrunk back into himself. “A couple nights ago,” he said. “In your sleep.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” asked Louis.
“I was scared,” Felix admitted. “I didn’t know what to do since you weren’t even awake. I thought it was just better that you didn’t know.”
Felix watched as Louis ran a hand through his hair and tried to physically shake off his frustration. “I…I had no idea.”
“I know,” replied Felix sheepishly.
“I just…” said Louis, searching for words. “I wish I’d gotten to tell you. Consciously. Because…I do. And I’m not giving up on you, not by any means. I just wish you could see what I see in you.”
“I know,” said Felix. “It’s just hard. You didn’t know me before. And while most of the time I look in the mirror and see a Colonial officer, there’s that little part of me that still sees what I used to be. It doesn’t go away, no matter how much I want it to.”
Felix scuffed his foot on the ground. Louis said nothing, just stared at the ground, or off at the wall, just like Felix was doing, anywhere but each other. They stood in heavy, awkward silence.
Felix felt he needed to say something. “Sorry” seemed to trite, and not enough to apologize for the argument they just had, and the similar ones Felix knew they would have later. Yet he couldn’t think of anything better to say either. So he just decided to stop thinking, and say whatever it was that came to mind first.
“I love you,” Felix said.
Louis stopped trying to distract himself and wrapped his arms around Felix. “I love you too,” he said.
Felix knew then and there that they would be okay, whether they had this fight again or not. It might not have been the ideal time to first say it, but those three words never felt so right.
Chapter 13