My Sparkly Valentine
For pensnest, for her help_haiti bid.
Bills, bills, junk mail, bills, and…that was something different. Lance eyed the pink envelope in his mail. It looked like a card, though Lance couldn’t think what the occasion would be. His birthday wasn’t for almost three months, and it’d been much too long since Christmas. Not to mention that pink wasn’t exactly a Christmas color. Further inspection revealed no return address, though it had been mailed locally.
There wasn’t much time to mull over it now. Unfortunately the stack of bills he’d received demanded his more immediate attention. Lance tossed the envelope in his car and made a note to read it later.
It wasn’t until Lance returned from a store run for some milk that he remembered the pink envelope. He was just about to get out of his car when he noticed the piece of mail lying there in his front seat. Lance set the milk back down and picked up the envelope. Deftly he tore open the flap. Lance pulled a card out of the envelope and instantly glitter flew everywhere.
“Dammit, not again.”
The first person Lance called was JC. JC was into sparkles long before vampires made them cool, though no one had yet to come up with an explanation for that. Then again, Lance was still searching for a reason why in god’s name he’d bleached his hair back in the early days, so Lance really had to room to question JC. “JC, you’ve really got to stop sending me glitter filled cards. Do you know how long it took to get my car cleaned after last time?”
“First of all dude,” said JC. “Don’t open your mail in your car. Secondly, I have no idea what you’re talking about. You know I don’t mail anything unless I have to.” This was true, Lance thought. JC paid all his bills online, and had been too damn cheap to even send Christmas cards for 7 years running. One glitter filled card might be within JC’s realm of plausibility, but three was asking a bit too much out of him. “Is there a note this time?”
“Um,” said Lance. He hadn’t even opened the card yet, for fear of the inevitable glitter shower. He contemplated the card, and thought briefly about just hanging up now. Thankfully, a better idea came to him. Lance went to stand over the kitchen sink, and proceeded to open the card there.
“It says, ‘Happy Valentine’s Day, to the man who puts a glimmer in my heart’.”
“Considering your last two said ‘Thought you would enjoy some confetti for your new year’ and ‘May your days be merry and bright’, they’ve got to be from Chris,” replied JC. “Don’t tell him how long you spent cleaning your car, or he’ll just send you more.”
“Thanks for the advice,” said Lance.
“Seriously,” added JC. “You could end up with a card on St. Patrick’s Day that says ‘Kiss me, I sparkle’.”
“Don’t they make t-shirts that say that now?” asked Lance.
“I don’t know, Hot Topic throws off my chi.”
After a thorough rinsing, spraying, and wiping down of his sink, which still didn’t seem to get off all the glitter, Lance decided to give a Chris a call. In case it wasn’t Chris, he’d omit the part about the glitter. Though it would be just like Chris to do something like this.
“Chris.”
“Lance.”
“Did you send me a Valentine’s Day card?” Lance asked, cutting straight to the point.
“No,” Chris replied, sounding a little confused. “What am I, 8? Ooh, you know who is 8? Brianha. I bet she likes sending out Valentine’s. Did you really get a Valentine in the mail?”
“With glitter and everything,” said Lance.
“Glitter?” Lance could hear Chris cackling. “Ok, now you know that’s got to be Joey’s kid. Was it pink?”
“Yes,” Lance groaned. Chris laughed more.
“Well, if it’s not from Briahna, god help you.” Chris was still laughing. Lance hung up on him.
While the glitter, and the pink envelope, fit the idea of Briahna sending him a Valentine, and the cheesy note certainly smacked of Joey, that still left the LA postmark unexplained. Joey hadn’t been out to LA in months, what with Kelly and the new baby keeping him at home. That just left…
“Justin?”
“Yes?” answered Justin, propping himself against the door. Lance had decided to come see him in person, mostly because if Justin denied sending him the cards, Lance knew all of the guys were likely in on something, and Justin would be the easiest to get to roll.
Lance held up the card. “Did you send this to me?” he asked.
Justin flashed a bashful smile. “How’d you know it was me?”
“Well uh..” started Lance. “Lucky guess.”
“You already talked to the other guys, didn’t you?”
Now it was Lance’s turn to be embarrassed. “Yes.”
“Uh huh,” said Justin. “Well, um. I sent it because, well, was interested in, you know, you, I just wasn’t sure how to get your attention. So I thought, hey, why not glitter?”
“Glitter? Really?” Lance asked.
“Worked, didn’t it?” Justin grinned.
Lance just shrugged. “There are other ways of getting my attention, you know.”
“Yes,” said Justin. “But then I wouldn’t have gotten to read about it on your Twitter account.”
Lance just laughed. “Should I tweet about how you’re wooing me through the mail as well?”
Justin shuddered. “No. Please, not…look. I know it was probably cheesy of me, but I would like to take you out sometime. If that’s possible.”
“You sure you could get away with it?” Lance asked.
“I think I could go to the movies with you without anybody thinking things,” said Justin. “I hear Shutter Island is good. We could even go to some small out of the way theater if you want. So what do you say?” Justin flashed a pleading grin, one Lance, or anyone else for that matter, could ever seem to resist. And Lance definitely didn’t feel like resisting now. Plus, he had to admit, the glitter cards were original.
“Alright. But no more glitter.”
“Damn. And I was going to send you one for St. Patrick’s Day too.”
Bills, bills, junk mail, bills, and…that was something different. Lance eyed the pink envelope in his mail. It looked like a card, though Lance couldn’t think what the occasion would be. His birthday wasn’t for almost three months, and it’d been much too long since Christmas. Not to mention that pink wasn’t exactly a Christmas color. Further inspection revealed no return address, though it had been mailed locally.
There wasn’t much time to mull over it now. Unfortunately the stack of bills he’d received demanded his more immediate attention. Lance tossed the envelope in his car and made a note to read it later.
It wasn’t until Lance returned from a store run for some milk that he remembered the pink envelope. He was just about to get out of his car when he noticed the piece of mail lying there in his front seat. Lance set the milk back down and picked up the envelope. Deftly he tore open the flap. Lance pulled a card out of the envelope and instantly glitter flew everywhere.
“Dammit, not again.”
The first person Lance called was JC. JC was into sparkles long before vampires made them cool, though no one had yet to come up with an explanation for that. Then again, Lance was still searching for a reason why in god’s name he’d bleached his hair back in the early days, so Lance really had to room to question JC. “JC, you’ve really got to stop sending me glitter filled cards. Do you know how long it took to get my car cleaned after last time?”
“First of all dude,” said JC. “Don’t open your mail in your car. Secondly, I have no idea what you’re talking about. You know I don’t mail anything unless I have to.” This was true, Lance thought. JC paid all his bills online, and had been too damn cheap to even send Christmas cards for 7 years running. One glitter filled card might be within JC’s realm of plausibility, but three was asking a bit too much out of him. “Is there a note this time?”
“Um,” said Lance. He hadn’t even opened the card yet, for fear of the inevitable glitter shower. He contemplated the card, and thought briefly about just hanging up now. Thankfully, a better idea came to him. Lance went to stand over the kitchen sink, and proceeded to open the card there.
“It says, ‘Happy Valentine’s Day, to the man who puts a glimmer in my heart’.”
“Considering your last two said ‘Thought you would enjoy some confetti for your new year’ and ‘May your days be merry and bright’, they’ve got to be from Chris,” replied JC. “Don’t tell him how long you spent cleaning your car, or he’ll just send you more.”
“Thanks for the advice,” said Lance.
“Seriously,” added JC. “You could end up with a card on St. Patrick’s Day that says ‘Kiss me, I sparkle’.”
“Don’t they make t-shirts that say that now?” asked Lance.
“I don’t know, Hot Topic throws off my chi.”
After a thorough rinsing, spraying, and wiping down of his sink, which still didn’t seem to get off all the glitter, Lance decided to give a Chris a call. In case it wasn’t Chris, he’d omit the part about the glitter. Though it would be just like Chris to do something like this.
“Chris.”
“Lance.”
“Did you send me a Valentine’s Day card?” Lance asked, cutting straight to the point.
“No,” Chris replied, sounding a little confused. “What am I, 8? Ooh, you know who is 8? Brianha. I bet she likes sending out Valentine’s. Did you really get a Valentine in the mail?”
“With glitter and everything,” said Lance.
“Glitter?” Lance could hear Chris cackling. “Ok, now you know that’s got to be Joey’s kid. Was it pink?”
“Yes,” Lance groaned. Chris laughed more.
“Well, if it’s not from Briahna, god help you.” Chris was still laughing. Lance hung up on him.
While the glitter, and the pink envelope, fit the idea of Briahna sending him a Valentine, and the cheesy note certainly smacked of Joey, that still left the LA postmark unexplained. Joey hadn’t been out to LA in months, what with Kelly and the new baby keeping him at home. That just left…
“Justin?”
“Yes?” answered Justin, propping himself against the door. Lance had decided to come see him in person, mostly because if Justin denied sending him the cards, Lance knew all of the guys were likely in on something, and Justin would be the easiest to get to roll.
Lance held up the card. “Did you send this to me?” he asked.
Justin flashed a bashful smile. “How’d you know it was me?”
“Well uh..” started Lance. “Lucky guess.”
“You already talked to the other guys, didn’t you?”
Now it was Lance’s turn to be embarrassed. “Yes.”
“Uh huh,” said Justin. “Well, um. I sent it because, well, was interested in, you know, you, I just wasn’t sure how to get your attention. So I thought, hey, why not glitter?”
“Glitter? Really?” Lance asked.
“Worked, didn’t it?” Justin grinned.
Lance just shrugged. “There are other ways of getting my attention, you know.”
“Yes,” said Justin. “But then I wouldn’t have gotten to read about it on your Twitter account.”
Lance just laughed. “Should I tweet about how you’re wooing me through the mail as well?”
Justin shuddered. “No. Please, not…look. I know it was probably cheesy of me, but I would like to take you out sometime. If that’s possible.”
“You sure you could get away with it?” Lance asked.
“I think I could go to the movies with you without anybody thinking things,” said Justin. “I hear Shutter Island is good. We could even go to some small out of the way theater if you want. So what do you say?” Justin flashed a pleading grin, one Lance, or anyone else for that matter, could ever seem to resist. And Lance definitely didn’t feel like resisting now. Plus, he had to admit, the glitter cards were original.
“Alright. But no more glitter.”
“Damn. And I was going to send you one for St. Patrick’s Day too.”